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3. Rights Of Parents

Q124: What is the degree to which a child is obligated to obey the orders of his parents?

A: Islam makes it incumbent on the child to deal with his parents with kindness (husna). (FM, p. 435)

Q125: Is it recommended (for a child) to obey his parents in everything, even in matters of daily life, as when the father says to his child "eat this fruit" or "sleep at 10 o'clock" or similar things?

A: Yes, this is recommended for him (the child). (FM, p. 435)

Q126: If the father prohibits his child from doing a certain thing that may bring harm to his child if he does it, knowing that in the opinion of his child this assessment is incorrect.

A: It is not permissible to oppose the father in such a situation because he will suffer from his opposition on account of his (the father) affection for him (the child). (FM, p. 435)

Q127: If a father says to his child: "I know that there is no danger involved in your trip, my child, but your separation from me, your absence and the distance are really hard for me to bear and cause me suffering; it is for this reason that I forbid you to travel."

Follow up: Before I respond, let me ask you this question. If the child obeys his father and does not travel, will the cancellation of such a trip hurt him in any way?

Response: Absolutely not. The child will not suffer in any way, but he will be prevented from fulfilling his wish.

A: In this case then, it is not permissible for him to go on the trip, as long as such travel causes his father suffering. (FM, pp. 435-36)

Q128: Is it permissible for the parents to utilize the wealth of their child who has not attained the age of puberty (non-baligh)?

A: It is permissible for the father if its utilization is not to the detriment of the child. As for the mother, she is not allowed to utilize his (her child) wealth without the permission of the father or paternal grandfather. If one of them permits her and it is not detrimental to the child, then it is permissible. But, if it brings harm to their child, then it is not permissible; rather, it is obligatory for them to protect his wealth until he is grown up. (FM, p. 417)

Gifts for New-Born

Q129: Some gifts are offered to the family on the occasion of the birth of a child, normally in the form of gold jewelry, food, or money. Are they for the new-born or his parents?

A: The gifts differ in these cases. Some are indicated to be for the new-born, for example, gold jewelry appropriate for the baby. These are meant for him. Others are of benefit to someone other than the baby, for example, food and similar items, which are meant for the parents. It seems apparent that money placed under the pillow of the new-born or slipped into his clothes is considered of the first category and thus belongs to the new-born himself. (FM, p. 417)

Disciplining Children

Q130: Is it permissible to beat pupils in school and is it obligatory to obtain the consent of the guardian of the pupil to be beaten?

A: It is permissible to beat pupils if they bother others or are committing forbidden acts -- but with the permission of the guardian -- three strikes [no more]. The beating must be done in a gentle manner such that it does not cause redness on the body, otherwise diyah will be obligatory. (FM, pp. 433-34)

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