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Rights of Other Relatives . . . And fear
Allah, through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (reverence)
the (relations of) wombs (that bore you); for surely
Allah ever watches over you. (
Qur'an, 4:1 ) The right of those relatives who are not among the “dependants” is
called “silat ar-rahm” in Islamic language. Literally it means “to
join the womb”. As the relatives are joined together through birth, this term
practically means “to do good to relatives”. It is here that Islamic ethics and the principle of mutual sympathy and
love bring out the beauty of Islam. In the first section we have explained
briefly the importance and virtues of this aspect of Islamic ethics. The finer
instincts of human nature do demand that relatives behave with mutual sympathy
and cooperation, and should deal gently with the another. Apart from the spiritual benefits, “silat ar-rahm” maintains
the unity of the family; the confidence that there are people who are always
ready to extend their helping hands in time of need, creates peace of mind and
contentment of heart. on the other hand, “qat` ar-rahm ” (severing the relationship)
creates strife and conflict and the unity of the family is shattered. It is
common knowledge that disunity in the family always brings in its wake disgrace
and misfortune, and opens the door of need and poverty. The Qur'an and ahadith have emphasized these aspects of “silat
ar-rahm ”, as will be seen in the following pages. The Virtues of “Silat ar-rahm” according to
Qur'an and Traditions We have earlier mentioned this ayah: (O' Prophet), tell them that whatever (wealth) ye spend, it is (primarily)
for the parents and relatives . . . ( Qur'an, 2:215) Another ayah says: And remember We took a
covenant from the Children of These two ayat show that doing good to the relatives is next in
importance to the obedience of parents. The ayah mentioned at the
beginning of this section creates the same impression. al-Imam `Ali ibn Musa
ar-Rida (a.s.) has commented on that ayah in these words: Verily, Allah ordered three things joined with three things . . . and
ordered to fear Him joined by “silat ar-rahm ” - thus one who did not
`join his relationship' did not fear Allah. Another ayah says: Verily, Allah commands
justice, the doing of good and giving to kith and kin .(Qur'an, 16:90) A point to ponder: Helping relatives comes under both
“Justice” and “Doing good”. Still Allah mentioned it separately; it shows how important
this item is in the eyes of Allah. If anyone wants to find out, in the light of the sayings of the true
leaders of Islam, the material benefits of `joining the relationship', the
following ahadith will guide him. 1. al-Imam al-Husayn (a.s.) said: One who desires that his life be elongated and his sustenance be increased,
should join his relationship. There are many such ahadith from ma`sumin[7] (a.s.): 2. The Holy Prophet said: Verily (it happens that) a man joins his relationship while only three
years have remained from his life, so Allah increases his life to thirty-three
years; and verily (it happens) that a man severs his relationship and
thirty-three years have still remained from his life, and Allah shortens that
life to only three years. Al-Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) has described two incidents showing the
truth of this matter; but space does not permit their description here. 3. al-Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) said that the Holy Prophet said: Joining relationship builds homes, increases lives and increases
prosperity, even if they be infidels. 4. The Holy Prophet said: Some people go on an evil path and commit sins, but they behave gently
with their relatives and because of this silat
ar-rahm their wealth is increased and their lives elongated. How much
reward would have been theirs if they had been good people? 5. It is because of this, that Amir al-mu'minin `Ali (a.s.) said: Man is not given reward of any good work sooner than that of silat ar-rahm. 6. So far as its reward in the life Hereafter is concerned, the Holy
Prophet has said: The reward of charity is ten times; and the reward of lending is
eighteen times; and the reward of doing good to a believer is twenty times; and
the reward of doing good to a relative is twenty-four times. 7) Prophet Musa (a.s.) asked Allah what was the reward of silat ar-rahm.
Allah told him: O' Musa! I postpone his death (increase his life); and make easy for him
the death pangs, and the keepers of The ahadith mentioned above tell us of some rewards of silat
ar-rahm which are given in this life and other which will be given in the
life Here after. So far as this world's rewards are concerned, they are given
to anyone who practises silat ar-rahm, even if he is an unbeliever.
These are as follows: a) His life is elongated; b) His sustenance is increased; c) His home and family prosper; d) His death pangs are eased. But the rewards of the life Hereafter depend upon Islam and true faith.
They are a) silat ar-rahm is complementary to the fear of Allah
and piety. Piety without ar-rahm is a thing incomplete. b) All the gates of On the other hand `severing relationship' keeps a man away from all
these benefits. It is not possible to give here all the ahadith in
praise of `joining relationship' nor the , ones condemning `severing
relationship'. However, a few ayat and ahadith concerning
`severing relationship' are given below to complete the subject. The Evils of Severing Relationship Here are three ayat: Those who break.
Allah's covenant after it is ratified, and who cut asunder what Allah has
ordered to be joined, and do mischief on earth; these cause loss to themselves. (Qur'an, 2:27) And those who break
the covenant of Allah after having plighted their word thereto, and cut asunder
those things which Allah has commanded to be joined, and work mischief in the
land, on them is the curse, and for them is the terrible home. (Qur'an, 13:25) Then, believe ye are,
if ye hold authority, that ye make mischief in the land and break the ties of
relationship? Such are the men whom Allah has cursed, for He has made them deaf
and blinded their sight. (Qur'an, 47:22 -23) Now some ahadith: 1. Amir al-mu'minin `Ali (a.s.) said in one of his sermons: “I seek
protection of Allah from the sins which hasten death.” `Abdullah ibn Kawwa
said: “O' Amir al-mu'minin, is there any sin which hastens death?” Amir
al-mu'minin said: “Yes; and it is severance of relationships. Verily, members
of a family remain united and help each other, so Allah gives them sustenance,
though they be drinkers of liquor; and, verily, members of a family separate
from each other and one of them severs relationship from another, so Allah
deprives them (of their sustenance) though they be pious.” 2. al-Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) said: “My father told me in his wasiyyah
(will): `O' my son, do not sit with five persons, do not talk with them,
nor accompany them in a path,' “I said: `May I be your ransom, O' father! who are those five?' “My father said,. ` Do not keep the company of one who
transgresses Allah's commands, because he will sell you for a morsel or even
less than that.' “I said: `O' father, and what is less than that?' He said. `In
expectation of a morsel which he will not get.' “I said: `And who is the second?' “He said: `Do not keep the company of a miser, because he will cut you
off from his wealth when you will need it most.' “I said: `And who is the third?' “He said: `Do not keep the company of a liar, because he is like a
mirage, shows you the near thing as distant, and the distant thing as near
one.' “I said: `And who is the fourth?' “He said: `Do not keep the company of a fool, because he will want to
benefit you but will only harm you.' “I said: `O' father, and who is the fifth?' “He said: `Do not keep the
company of one who severs relationships, because I have found him cursed in three
places in the Book of Allah.' ” (These three places, perhaps, are the same three ayat mentioned in the
beginning of this section.) 3. Salimah (the slave-girl of al-Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq [a.s.] ) said: “I
was near al-Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) at the time of his death; presently he
became unconscious; when he came to, he said ` Give Hasan (Aftas) ibn `Ali ibn
`Ali ibn Husayn ibn `Ali ibn Abi Talib seventy dinars, and give this one so
much and that one so much.' “I said: `You are bequeathing to a man (Aftas) who had attacked
you with a knife and wanted to kill you?' The Imam said: `Do you not want me to
be among those whom Allah has praised for “joining the relationship” and has
said for them Those who join
together what Allah has commanded to be joined, and fear their Lord and are
afraid of the terrible reckoning. (Qur'an, 13:21) ' “Then he said: `O' Salimah, verily Allah created Paradise and made its
scent pleasant and its scent reaches upto the distance of two thousand years;
but the person who disobeys the parent or the one who severs relationship will
not smell its scent. Divine Law in Practice: This bequest of the Imam for his relatives is the practical
interpretation of this saying of Allah: It is prescribed for
you, when death approaches any of you, if he leaves any goods, that he make a
bequest to parents and relatives, according to reasonable usage; this is due
from the God fearing. (Qur'an, 2:180) Though this `Law' was abrogated after the enforcement of succession
laws, the eternal call of “this is due from the God fearing” is
exhorting the believers to remember their relatives in their will. We can find countless people who do good to their relatives; but such
example of doing good to a blood-thirsty relative is very rare in the history
of mankind; but it is these examples that demonstrate the true spirit of
Islamic ethics. Circle of Ar-rahm Which of the relatives are within the circle of silat ar-rahm? Who are
the relatives with whom silat ar-rahm is obligatory? It is . very difficult to draw a line to divide near and distant
relatives. A person having a broad outlook may widen the circle of his
relatives as much as he likes. Distance or nearness in this context depends
upon the angle of vision. In other words, we may call it a play of vision. Ten
miles is `far' in comparison with five miles, but is very near in comparison
with hundred miles. The following narrative will explain this matter very clearly. `Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan said: “One day we were with Mu'awiyah; many Quraishites including some of Banu
Hashim, were in that group. Mu'awiyah turned towards Banu Hashim and said: `O'
Banu Hashim, on what ground do you pride yourselves against us? Are we not
(both Banu Hashim and Banu Umayyah) from the same father and mother? And do we
not share the same house and birth-place?' “`Abdullah ibn `Abbas replied: `We pride our-selves against you because
of that thing by which you (Banu Umayyah) boast against the whole tribe of
Quraysh, and by which Quraysh boast against the ansar (helpers of
Medina), and because of which the Arabs boast against all non-Arabs. We pride
ourselves against you because of Muhammad (who was from Banu Hashim) and his
relationship which you cannot deny and (it is a fact) from which you cannot
escape.' “Mu'awiyah could only say: `O' Ibn `Abbas, you have been given a very
sharp tongue.' ” This talk shows that if we look at the fact that the Holy Prophet was
from Banu Hashim, then even Banu Umayyah will go out of the circle of
relationship; but if we compare that relationship with the distance of ansar
of Medina, then not only Banu Umayyah but the whole tribe of Quraysh will be
counted as the relatives of the Holy Prophet. What we want to stress is the fact that no mathematician can solve this
problem by counting the notches in the family-tree. We have to adopt the system
which the Shari'ah has prescribed for such matters; and that is
“common usage”. For this purpose, relatives should be divided into four
categories o Those who are within the
prohibited degree (mahram); o
Those
who are not within the prohibited degree, but are included in the table of
inheritance; o
Those
who are neither within the prohibited degree nor are included in the table of
inheritance; but their relationship is known and one feels that they are one's
relatives; o
Those
whose relationship is not known. There is no doubt that the first and second categories are within the
circle of silat ar-rahm; and the fourth category is surely excluded
from its sphere. But what about the third category? The following two ahadith
provide the answer: 1. al-Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) said that the Holy Prophet said: I saw a relation dangling with the`arsh (The Throne of Allah),
complaining before Allah against one who had severed it. I asked Jibra'il
(Gabriel) : “How many generations above do they meet?” Jibra'i1 said: “Seven
generations.” 2. The Holy Prophet said: When I was taken to the heavens (in mi`raj ) I saw a relation dangling
with the `arsh complaining of a relative. I asked it: “How many generations are
between thee and him?” It said: “We meet in the fortieth forefather.” Obviously the complaint of a relative removed seven or forty generations
can be reasonable only when both parties had the knowledge of mutual
relationship and still one of them neglected his duties of silat ar-rahm. In
other words, the criterion of silat ar-rahm's obligation is the knowledge of
relationship, not the distance of that relationship. Ways of Silat ar-rahm What are the ways of silat ar-rahm? What are its highest and lowest
grades? “To love and sympathize with the relatives and do good to them”: this is
the shortest definition of silat ar-rahm. And all the `ways' of sympathy and
good behaviour are the ways of silat ar-rahm. It was mentioned in the `Rights of Parents' that some of their rights
are of `wealth' and others of soul and body. According to Islam, the relatives
also have some rights on one's wealth and some on one's soul and body. The Holy Prophet said: Whoever goes to his relatives to do silat ar-rahm with his self and his
wealth, Allah gives him the reward of a hundred martyrs; and on every step he
is awarded forty thousand good deeds and forgiven forty thousand bad deeds; and
his rank is elevated forty thousand grades; and he is treated as though he
worshiped Allah hundred years with patience and full attention. When is monetary help compulsory? It is compulsory (wajib) when
the person concerned has some wealth left after meeting the necessary expenses
of himself and his dependants, and the relative is in need of such help. Notwithstanding the conditions mentioned above, a Muslim must help his relatives as much as
possible even when monetary help is not wajib. The Holy Prophet said.: Join your relationship even if it is with a drink of water. On the other hand, the obligation of love and sympathy is unconditional. To deal with relatives with love, to demonstrate by one's actions and
behaviour that one shares their happiness and sorrow, to visit one another's
homes regularly, to observe the Islamic ethics in mutual relationship - these
are some facets of silat ar-rahm, which one can instinctively feel and
which cannot be justifiably codified in writing. The Holy Prophet has drawn our
attention to these small things by saying Do silat ar-rahm even if it is by salam (salutation). And now a hadith of the Holy Prophet on this very subject: “The
best way of silat ar-rahm is not to give any trouble to the relative.”
For those who understand human nature, this hadith is a mine of
wisdom. Summary We may summarize this part in the following sentences: 1. Islam has made it compulsory to do good to relatives; and `severing
of relationship' is (like disobedience of parents) a capital sin whose culprit
is not likely to be forgiven. 2. silat ar-rahm means that a person should not give any trouble to his
relatives; should deal with them with love and Islamic ethics; should
participate in their sorrow and joy; and if possible, should help them
financially. 3. silat ar-rahm covers all relatives whose relationship is known; it
makes no difference whether they are within or outside the prohibited degrees
or within or outside the table of inheritance. A Reminder It was shown in Part One that Islam supports the Separate Family System
with the provision of silat ar-rahm. Now it should be mentioned that the
concept of relationship in Islam is so wide that even the Joint Family System
cannot compete with it. It proves that `love' and `sympathy' have found their true meaning only
in the Islamic shari`ah. Without Islam, these words were bodies
without soul. No other system can show such open-heartedness, nor can any `ism'
bring forward such all-encompassing well-defined family-code. The Holy Prophet said: “I was sent to complete (fulfil) the noble
ethics.” He fulfilled his task; his holy hands completed the boundaries of
Islamic ethics. It is one more proof that he was the Last Prophet and his
religion is the Last Religion. Notes: [7] The Holy Prophet, his daughter
Fatimah and the twelve Holy Imams. |
