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Everyone is thirsty for friendship and kindness; They
all like to be loved by others. The heart of a human being thrives on it.
A person who is not loved by anyone regards himself as alone and deserted.
Dear lady! Your husband is not any different. He is also in need of love
and affection. Before his marriage the love and affection of his parents
fulfilled this need, but now, he expects you to fulfill it. The man looks
towards his spouse to find friendship and love, which is a requirement
of all human beings. He struggles hard to earn a living and to comfort
you. He shares with you all the hardships of life and as your true partner
cares for your happiness even more than your parents. Therefore, express
your appreciation to him and love him, he will love you. Love is a two-way
relationship which unites the hearts.
A twenty-year old boy who had come to Tehran to study
at the university, fell in love with a 39-year old widow who was his landlady.
This was because the woman had fulfilled the empty place of his mother
in his heart through her kindness. [14]
If love is mutual, the marital foundation becomes
strong and the dangers of separation are averted. Do not proudly think
that your husband fell in love with you at first sight, because such love
is not lasting. A lasting love is through kindness and permanent affection
in the form of a very close friendship.
If you love your husband and have a good friendship
he will be happy and willing to strive and sacrifice himself for your well-being.
A man who enjoys the love of his wife, rarely suffers from poor health
or has emotional problems. If a man is deprived of a warm and friendly
relationship with his spouse, he may become disheartened and may avoid
his home. He may end up spending a great deal of time out of his home in
search of friends and attention. He may say to himself: "Why should I work
and support the people who do not like me. I might as well enjoy myself
and try to find genuine friends."
A woman may sincerely love her husband, but does not
show it or express it very often. It is not enough to establish the ties
of friendship and take it for granted. Occasional expressions of statements
such a "I love you," "I missed you," "I am happy to see you," help enormously
in promoting a good relationship. When the husband is on a trip, the woman
should write letters expressing that she missed him. If there is a telephone
at the man's office, the wife should phone him occasionally, but not in
excess. She should praise him among friends and relatives when he is absent,
and defend him if anyone is talking against him.
The Almighty Allah refers to this bond of love and affection of a husband and wife in the Qur'an:
"And one of His signs is that He created mates for
you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between
you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people
who reflect (30:21)."
"Imam Rida (AS) stated: 'Some women are blessings
for their husbands who express their love and affection'."[15]
"The Holy Prophet (SA) stated: 'The best of you among
women are those who possess love and affection'."[16]
"Imam Sadiq (AS) stated: 'When you love someone, let the person know'."[17]
REFERENCES
[14] Ittela'at, 20th Esfand, 1348 Solar Hijri*, no. 13140.
[15] Mustadrak, vol 2, p 532.
[16] Bihar al-Anwar, vol 103, p 235.
[17]Ibid,
vol 74, p 181.
*By Solar Hijri is meant Solar Calendar based on
Hijrah of Prophet Muhammad (SA). Difference between the Gregorian Calendar
and Solar Hijri is 621 years.