Housework may possibly seem an easy job to some men,
but it is only fair to acknowledge it as a hard and tedious job.
A housewife, even if she works all day and night,
would not be able to finish all her work. Cooking, cleaning, washing the
clothes and ironing, washing the dishes and arranging them, making the
beds, and arranging the furniture and above all taking care of children,
not one day, but everyday is very difficult.
A man might think that his wife is just cooking food
three times a day and forgets about the rest of her work.
Only a man who is prepared to stay in the house for
a month and do the housework, would know the pressures involved. He would
then appreciate his wife's efforts.
A housewife does all this work happily but she expects
her husband to appreciate her and to show his gratitude.
Dear Sir! what is wrong with thanking your wife for
her housekeeping? Why should you not express your fondness for the food
she cooks? What is wrong with thanking her with regard to her efforts in
taking care of your children? Are you not aware that your appreciation
for her would encourage and refresh her?
If you remain indifferent to her efforts, or do not
show your gratitude, she would lose interest in the housework and then
you would complain about her. You should know that you could be the cause
of your wife's indolence.
If a stranger does you a small favour, you would thank
him many times, but upon your wife's many favours you are not even thanking
her once! You are not prepared to even make her happy by showing your appreciation
for all her efforts.
"A twenty-nine year old housewife wrote from Tehran:
'I am married to an ungrateful and an inappreciative man who ignores my
housework altogether. I wash, clean, cook, decorate the house, knit jumpers
for the family, polish his shoes, iron his clothes, etc and he has not
even once thanked me. Whenever I talk to him about the work in the house,
he interrupts me and says that I should not praise it before him. He belittles
my efforts, whereas his success is mostly due to my hard work'."
Some men regard it as a manly act to ignore their
wives' housework. They think if they make compliments to their wives for
their work, the women would be spoiled. They might even believe that a
man and wife do not need to thank each other.
This belief is not right, because any good-doer from
a psychological point of view, needs appreciation and gratitude. Appreciation
encourages one to do good, and this is especially true for a housewife
who is doing a tedious job everyday over and over again.
Thus Islam regards being thankful as a good quality
in one's behaviour.
"Imam Sadiq (AS) stated: 'Whoever praises a Muslim,
Allah would write many praises for him until the Day of .Judgment'."
"The Prophet (SA) of Islam stated: 'Whoever respects
a Muslim, and speaks affably to him, and removes his sorrow, would always
be under the blessings of Allah'."
 "Wa Nami Danand Chara.. ("And They Do Not Know, Why?"). p 140.
 Shafi, vol 1 p 197.