It themselves has been already mentioned that the opinion about incidents affect us more than the incident.
Our undue expectations from this world are the cause of our problems. For instance, a youth wishes everything should happen as per his thinking. "I should do what I wish; everybody should treat me the way I like; my life should consist of all good things; I should not commit any mistakes in my life; if people do not co-operate with me then I am unfortunate and not worthy of their honour; I should never fail in life..."
The youths tend to view the world in this manner." All my tasks should get fulfilled quickly without facing any problems and having to struggle for it; I should avoid tasks demanding patience and courage; I cannot tolerate hardships and difficulties; I cannot bear failure, etc." Needless to say this manner of thinking will bring about anger, irate behavior, bad manners, impatience and lethargy in the youth. It will retard their progress and deprive them of the ability to view facts objectively.
At this point, a change in attitude and an impartial and positive thinking can bring about a pleasant and a very evident change in their lives and act as a lamp within the gloom of darkness. This change is not a huge task. It only requires courage, decisiveness, patience and reliance on Allah. Incidents need to be viewed under the light of intellect. It is only through intellect that we can control the conditions and problems of the world.
Ameerul Momineen (a.s) says:
لا يستعان على الدهر الا بالعقل ولا على الادب الا بالبحث
Youths are requested to change their lives from the one based on emotions and sentiments to the one based on intellect and experience the resulting effects and peace of mind. It will rid them of stress and tension. This positive experience will primarily influence the life of the youth. This positive thinking would convert their limitations into strength.
If - for instance - he was not invited by his friend to a certain programme & since he is not aware of the reasons of not being invited, he will not resort to negative thoughts. He will not feel that he is not loved by the people. “I have no friends" and similar such thoughts will not crop up in his mind. If he is not invited, it does not mean that relations have been severed for life. Possibly, it was in his interest that he was not invited. Occupy yourselves in some work rather than being sad and to allow such incidents dominate you.
- 1. Behaarul Anwaar, vol. 75, pg. 7