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Amina Inloes,
Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the Islamic College in London and also the Managing Editor of the Journal of Shi'a Islamic Studies. 651 Answers
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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi,
Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to religious questions. In the past, he has also spent significant time in India guiding the community. 3751 Answers
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Mohammed Al-Hilli,
Sheikh Mohammed Al-Hilli, originally from Iraq, has a Masters in Pharmacy from the University of London. He completed his Hawza degree from the ICAS in London under the supervision of Ayatollah Fadhil Milani, and also has an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University via the Islamic College. He is a teacher at the Hawza Programme at Islamic College in London. 8 Answers
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Rebecca Masterton,
Dr Rebecca Masterton graduated with a BA in Japanese Language and Literature; an MA in Comparative East Asian and African Literature and a PhD in Islamic literature of West Africa. She has been teaching for seventeen years through different media, and has also worked in media for ten years, producing and presenting programs for several TV channels. 110 Answers
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Sayyed Muhammad Husaini Ragheb,
Sayyed Muhammad Husaini Ragheb has a BA in Law from Guilan University, Iran and has also undertaken Hawzah studies in Qom. He used to be a Cultural Affairs director of Ethics Group of Al-Mustafa Open University. He obtained his Master's degree in Applied Ethics and now is a PhD candidate in Islamic Ethics besides doing his Bahse Kharej in Qom Hawza. 81 Answers
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Masuma Jaffer,
Dr Masuma Jaffer is a qualified dentist, with a Masters in Islamic Studies and has also attended Hawza in Qum. She obtained a PGCE - teaching qualification – and has taught Hawza studies at the Islamic College in London. She also has a Diploma in Counselling and is a Qualified Chaplain and worked with women prisoners at Holloway and with Hertfordshire Police advising them on Muslim matters. 10 Answers
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Seyed Saied Alavi,
Seyed Saied Alavi is a researcher based in Qom who has studied from the Howzah of Qom and also completed a Pastoral studies program. He is currently a university lecturer in the fields of Shia Theology and the History of Religions as well as other subjects. 9 Answers
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It is normal for there to be complex emotions in these situations. Even in narrations, it says that a woman's jealousy over her husband is due to her love for him. This is apart from other concerns, such as about the financial effect.
There is nothing wrong with acknowledging the reality of your emotions. In any situation, is healthier to work through things such as anger or resentment because negative emotions can eat at us, and we are the ones who will suffer. However, this takes time and there isn't an instant fix.
Bringing another person into the picture (either in terms of a second wife, or illicitly) also changes the relationship between two spouses, and it takes time for the relationship to adjust and to find a new normal. Also, sometimes it changes our own sense of identity and the way we relate to the world, since marriage is heavily tied to identity, and so sometimes it takes time to develop a different sense of self if there is a change in marital life.
There is a certain wisdom in accepting that we cannot control other people's decisions, and to accept that people in our lives will do things that we wish they didn't. Allah only takes us to account for our own actions and choices.
Ethically, it is good to treat correctly the other woman in the same way one would treat correctly any other person, especially if she is a sister in faith.
In societies which are not structured to support polygyny, such as many urban areas today, and where it is a burden for a man to be equally responsible to two separate households, second marriages often don't last anyway, especially if the second wife is getting the lesser end of the deal (for instance, supporting herself and her children financially while the first wife is a housewife). (This is especially the case when the first marriage has been established for a long time and is not ending, and there isn't a strong reason pushing the man to take an additional wife.)
When the Prophet (S) and Imam Ali (A) had multiple wives, they didn't have to commute 4 hours in bad traffic after a 10 hour work shift and pay insurance and mortgages or exorbitant rent for both families, etc. The culture also was set up in a way that acknowledged polygamy, whereas some modern cultures are not even favorable to having one wife and child-raising, let alone multiple wives. Of course, this varies tremendously from place to place.
Sometimes second/third/fourth marriages do last, and I don't want to give you a false hope, but just putting this out there. Time shows the end result of all things.
Culture of today which is mainly from the western media makes people thing wrong about some acts which were been approved and even practiced by the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS). If the western values calls your husband's second marriage with the condition of practical justice, a betrayal to you, then how do you look at a great lady like Ummul Banin (SA) who accepted many marriage of her husband Ameerul Mo'mineen (AS)?
Being unhappy with your husband's second marriage should not lead you to sinful acts like hurting him or accusing him or his second wife or her family or creating problems in the life of your husband even by changing your mode with him. You as a sincere believer in Allah, should accepts whatever Allah Has approved, and never show unhappiness with an act approved by Allah.
Your patience and acceptance to Allah's religion will give you a higher degree and great reward and will definitely make your life more successful.
Wassalam.