Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi,
Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to religious questions. In the past, he has also spent significant time in India guiding the community.
Any act which causes pain to any one else ( except the enemies of Allah) is forbidden and Haraam.
Being good to your spouse is one of most important duties in Islam.
If any recommended act cause pain to your wife, you should not do it, because avoiding Haraam is before doing a recommended act.