I am sorry to hear about your difficulties. You are not allowed to end your own life, and this is a firm prohibition in Islam, since life and death belong solely to Allah.

Sometimes people end their lives because they feel that they have no way out of the difficulties they are facing. If that is your situation, it is good to pray that Allah opens some doors and finds a new way for you to improve your situation. (I am sure you are doing this, but you can continue to do it, inshallah.)

You also do not know what Allah has planned for you in the future, and maybe you have some things that it is important for you to do in the future in life, and you will look back and realize it was important for you to continue living. So right now your job is just to get through your situation in the here and now.

As they say, it is often darkest before the dawn, and difficult times do not usually last forever. Oftentimes, Allah's mercy reaches us when we are at our most difficult point and then we find relief from whatever we are suffering from. So do continue to pray for assistance and have hope!