Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from ANU, Canberra. He has written and translated several Islamic texts and also prepared educational videos on Islamic rulings and practices.
In Islam, self-pleasure is forbidden and there are many mental, emotional, moral and physical harms to such practices.
The husband has a shar'i and moral obligation of physical intimacy with his wife. If he does not do so, he is committing a sin and it will be grounds for divorce.
It is necessary for the husband to realise that physical intimacy is important for both sides, and will strengthen the bond between them. When he neglects the sexual needs of his wife, not only will she not feel valued, her heart will start drifting away from him.
It is not just a matter of sexual pleasure between the husband and wife, but also to avoid any damaging effects or practices. Besides the fact that it is haram, her masturbating is no solution at all.
If husband does not change his ways, they should seek intervention and visit a marriage counsellor.
With prayers for your success.