Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

As a religion, Islam encourages sexuality and sees sexual relations to not only be healthy and positive, but also religiously required. This is always an important point to remember, because if we compare the Islamic approach to sexuality with that of other religions, we will see how other religions see sex as something immoral, shameful or limited to the least level of intimacy. 

There are many mustahab things related to intimacy between the husband and wife, but also focusing on the personal/spiritual side as well. 

Certain acts that have surfaced in today's society, for the purpose of "spicing up" a relationship is due to a lack of personal connection or failing to have intimacy just by being with the partner. Boundaries of morality and legitimate relationships have turned many people to look for alternatives for sexual arousal. 

As Muslims, our emphasis is not just the physical side, but also the moral and spiritual connection with our partner. Our objective is to elevate our spiritual status and gain closer proximity to God. It is not just to feed our lust at any cost. 

A normal and healthy relationship will enable the partner to have sexual arousal without the need of crossing human moral boundaries. 

If someone needs whipping or physical humiliation to become sexually aroused, then do you really think they have a correct or healthy state of mind?

How can an honourable person have the urge of wanting to inflict pain on someone else for pleasure? That would be considered sickening. However, unfortunately because it something promoted by Western society, it becomes ok and many people do not see the harms of such acts. 

Almighty God has given us dignity, and we must always treat others in a dignified manner. Fulfilling sexual desires is an important thing, but not at the cost of removing our moral state or gaining animal traits. 

It's not just a matter of tying someone, or wearing handcuffs, but more than that. One might say there are different levels of BDSM, and there are acts that do not involve physical pain or humiliation. In such a case, if it is consensual and things are done in a dignified manner, then there would not be an issue. 

Ultimately, when it comes to fulfilling of sexual desires, dignity and respect is always important. 

With prayers for your success.