HusbandWifeSexual
Is it true that a woman must be sexually submissive to her husband in Islam? If so, why? Can the wife refuse her husband if she is too tired or unwilling?
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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the Islamic College in London and also the Managing Editor of the Journal of Shi'a Islamic Studies. 594 Questions Answered & 9 Days Average Response Time.
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Mahmood Abu Maryam, Trying to make sense of it all... 51 Questions Answered
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Mohammed Al-Hilli, Sheikh Mohammed Al-Hilli, originally from Iraq, has a Masters in Pharmacy from the University of London. He completed his Hawza degree from the ICAS in London under the supervision of Ayatollah Fadhil Milani, and also has an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University via the Islamic College. He is a teacher at the Hawza Programme at Islamic College in London. 8 Questions Answered
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Greg Sowden, Ali Mahdi Greg Sowden studied world history at Wilfrid Laurier University in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada. Since then he has been a student at Al-Mustafa International University in Qom, in the Islamic Republic of Iran.No Questions Answered
Amir De Martino, Amir De Martino is of Italian origin and has an MA in Islamic Studies from the Islamic College and a combined BA degree in Persian Language and Studies of Religion from SOAS in London. He has also obtained a PGCE in Social Research Methods from the Department of Education at Roehampton University as part of his preparation for doctoral studies, and is a members of Westminster’s Standing Advisory Council on Religious Education.No Questions Answered
Jaffer Ali Ladak, Shaykh Jaffer Ali Ladak is from Milton Keynes in the UK and has studied at Jami'a Imam as-Sadiq (a) Hawza Imam al-Jawad (a) in Karbala and at Al Mahdi Institute in Birmingham. He is currently completing his Masters Degree in Islamic Law at the Islamic College in London. He has also authored a book on Lady Umm Kulthum, the daughter of Imam Ali (a).No Questions Answered
Anwar Jaffer, Born and raised in London, Sheikh Anwar Jaffer has a Bsc in Economics and Finance from Queen Mary University of London. In 2010 he began his religious studies in Najaf and transferred to Qom in 2015 where he currently resides with his family. No Questions Answered
Ayub Rashid, Shaykh Ayub Rashid is a graduate of the Islamic Seminary of Qom, Iran. He has a BA in Islamic law and MA in Islam and Community Studies from the UK and is also a qualified Muslim Chaplain from the Markfield Institute of Higher Education in Leicester.No Questions Answered
Zaid Alsalami,

Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from ANU, Canberra. He has written and translated several Islamic texts and also prepared educational videos on Islamic rulings and practices.

533 Answers
Zeinab Donati,

Zeinab Donati has been studying books about various Islamic subjects for more than 19 years. She is deeply interested in history and politics as well as social issues in particular those pertaining to women.

25 Answers
Passed
Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Intimacy is a natural part of our spousal lives as human beings, and having a healthy sexual relationship leads to strengthening of a marriage. It is not only the fulfilling of halal lust, but also  contributes to avoiding of sin, which is why there are numerous Islamic rulings related to spousal intimacy between the husband and wife. Among these rulings is the obligation of 'tamkin' from the wife's side, which means her sexual availablility for the husband. 

Both the husband and wife should facilitate to one another their sexual pleasures, within the rational and shar'i boundaries that are clear and obvious for any believer. The correct approach for this issue is to make sure that emotional and physical needs are fulfilled, and that it is not taken as a means for coercing the wife to accommodate to the husband at times beyond her capacity. 

Therefore, in normal circumstances, and if there is no legitimate excuse, if the wife refuses to accommodate to her husband, she will be committing a sin, and this will lead to nushuz. 

Of course, if there is coercion, then it means they are not at a level of correct communication, and that they have underlaying problems that they must address. 

The wife must be considerate of this issue, and the husband must also be more considerate and cater to the wife's mood, or her being tired, or anything else that will not bring about any strain to the relationship.

And Allah knows best. 

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