You need to be sure about your future and never take risk on your faith.
If he claims to be a Shia, why does he pray on the way of others? How can you trust him claiming being a Shia when he is not practicing Shia Islam in the most important worship which is the daily prayers?
You should not hurry in accepting his proposal until you have enough evidence that his claim of being a Shia Muslim is authentic.
Marriage between Muslims is allowed provided that there is no risk on your religious practice in the future.
Irrespective of what maddhab he may be, it is extremely important to recognise and affirm good qualities for your potential spouse, especially in being honest and truthful.
It is permissible for a Shi'i to marry a Sunni, as long as he/she is able to preserve their Shi'i identity and practice their Shi'i ways without pressure or backlash.
If he is interested in the Shi'i madhhab, then that will be his choice, but he needs to make it clear to you as to why he is saying he is Shi'i, but, might be doing certain things the Sunni way.
Is it because he is in fear of his life, and therefore he needs to do taqiyah? Is it due to lack of understanding, and what slight differences there are between the Shi'i method of praying and the 4 Sunni methods?
Or, is it him trying to please you and make your hear what you wish to hear only, which means he is not be honest to you?
This is a conversation that needs to happen.
With prayers for your success.
Thank you for your question. The concept of Wahdat al-Wujud refers to how there is only one essentially real being which is God. There are many differing views on the specifics of this theory which need to be fully explained within their field of study. As a conception in theoretical mysticism the theory doesn't have a sectarian bias. There have been Sunni and Shii intellectuals who have found the theory useful, as well as Sunni and Shii intellectuals who have rejected it.
May you always be successful
Some of the martyrs were like that before Karbala like Zuhair ibn al Qayn who was previously a supporter of Othman ibn Affan, but after listening and following Imam Hussain (AS), he believed fully in Ameerul Mo'mineen and Imam Hasan and Imam Husain (AS), that is why he sacrificed his life in the way of Allah under the divine leadership of Imam Husain (AS).
There are many books of Elm al-Rijaal mentioning the good companions who remained faithful to the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS). Allama Sharafuddin of Lebanon mentioned names of 160 companions from them in his book : Jarallah questions answers, page 14 to 25.
Sayyed Hasan al-Sadr of Kadhimiyyah, author of Nihayat al-Dirayah, mentioned names of hundreds of faithful companions.
These books and most of Elm al-Rijaal books are in Arabic.
Most of the companions who passed away during the life of the Prophet (SAWA) or been martyred in the battles of that period are praised. Those who remained faithful after the Prophet are also praised.
What you heard is not true at all. It might be claimed by a person who did not do enough research about this matter. This tragedy which is also known as the Calamity of Thursday as it happened on Thursday, is narrated in Sunni books like Saheeh al-Bukhari 1;37 and 4;31
Sahheh Muslim 5;75 and 5;76
Musnad Ahmad Bin Hanbal 2;45
al-Sunan al-Khubra by al-Bayhaqi 9;207
al-Tabaqaat al-Khubra by Ibn Sa'd 2;242.
Many Shia books have also narrated this incident when the Prophet Muhammad (SAWA) wanted to write a statement for the Muslims so that they will never go astray after him, and refusal of some persons to let him do that. E.g.
Kitab Sulaim Ibn Qais, page 325.
Al-Irshab by al-Mufeed 1;148.
Awa'il al-Maqaalaat by al-Mureed; 406.
Amaali al-Mufeed 36.
Al-Ghaibah by al-No'mani 81.
Al-Manaqib by ibn shahr Aashoob 1;236.
al-Ehtijaj by al-Tabrasi 1;223.
al-Muraja'aat by Sharafuddin 526.
'Kitab al-Ta'ajjub by Abul Fat-h al-Karajoki 90.
Ibn Tawoos in three of his books; Sa'd al-So'ood 226, Kashif al-Hujjah 65 and al-Taraa'if 432.
Majma' al-Fawaa'id by al-Muhaqqiq al-Ardabeeli 3;217.
al-Rawashih al-Samaawiyyah by Mohamad Baqir Mir Damaad al-Estarabadi 211.
Biharul Anwaar by Allama al-Majlisi, V.16, page 135 who stated that this incident is well known in authentic Hadeeths and authentic history.
It is not allowed during obligatory Prayer (Salah) to add Rokoo' or Sojood because it will invalidate the Salah. Reciting any of the four verses of obligatory Sajda is not allowed in obligatory Salah. If you do Sajda for reciting or listening to any of the four verses of obligatory Sajda, you Salah becomes invalid and you need to perform the Salah again.
The Prophet Muhammad (SAWA) was asked when he recited this verse on the Muslims: Is it ordering us to do good to our kin or your kin? He replied: My kin; Ali, Fatima, and their sons. (Al-Haakim al-Hasakaani in Shawaahid al-Tanzeel , V. 2, P. 189) and Tafseer al-Qurtubi, V.3, P. 2.) . These are among Sunni references and among Shia references you can refer to Al-Kaafi 1:413.
We take the meanings of Quran from the Prophet (SAWA) as we were been ordered by Allah (SWT).
Jalaluddin Al Rumi who is also famous by the name of Maulawi or Maulana Rumi is the author of the famous book “Mathnawi”. Rumi was born in year 604 after hijra in Balkh, which was that time part of Khurasan and now is part of Afghanistan. He died in 672 after hijra. His father was a Sunni Hanafi Sheikh and he studied from his father the Hanafi Fiqh. He accompanied his father when his father migrated from Balkh to Baghdad, that time Rumi was just 4 years old and he stayed in Baghdad many years. He went to Konya in year 623 which is a place in Turkey now and he was teaching the Hanafi Fiqh in the religious schools there. Then he left teaching and became a Sufi. Rumi was not Shia from what we read in his Mathnawi because he praised persons who cannot be praised by the followers of Ahlulbayt (a.s.) and also Rumi in his Mathnawi called the Shias as روافض Rafidhi which is a title used by the enemies of the Shias to label the Shias. The works of Rumi or Maulawi Rumi contain lot of poetry including religious matters and wise words. We as followers of Alhlulbayt (a.s.) appreciate the facts mentioned in some of his statements but we can never endorse all his statements. With due respect to all righteous scholars, we should be very frank in saying that based on his own statements, he is not a Shia who believe in Ahlulbayt (a.s.) and follow them and they never praise anyone who stood against Ahlulbayt (a.s.). Agha Buzurg Tehrani (a very well known Shia Scholar) has compiled a big book by the name of “Al Zariyah” الذريعة has mentioned in Volume-10 Page-70 Under Number-106 some of the books of Rumi, that is why some people think that Rumi was a Shia but our Ulema say that itself is not an evidence because Rumi has written books and mentioned Ahlulbayt (a.s.) but the criteria of a real Shia is to follow Ahlulbayt (a.s.) and should not follow or should not praise the opponents of Ahlulbayt (a.s.).
It is also to be mentioned that Jalaluddin Rumi was student of Shams Tabrizi who was a Sunni Hanafi Sheikh.
It is to be mentioned that Jalaluddin Rumi was student of Ibne Arabi known as Muhiyiddin who is a well known Sufi, and as Ibne Arabi was a Sunni, Jalaluddin Rumi was following his Sunni teacher.
Our Ulema have expressed appreciation to the facts mentioned in Mathnawi and also many of our Ulema opposed and condemned some statements mentioned in Mathnawi which are in favour of enemies of Ahlulbayt (a.s.). We as Shias deal with Mathnawi and with Jalaluddin Rumi like we deal with any work by any person who is not Infallible. We take the good and avoid the wrong.
We deal with all poets , philosophers and scholars according to level of truth in their statements.
There isn't one specific Shi'i view on Rumi, insofar as poetry is more of an aesthetic matter or matter of taste rather than a theological matter.
Many Shi'is enjoy reading his poetry and find wisdom in it and quote it, particularly in Iran.
However if there is some theological objection to one of his poems, perhaps one could skip that one.
Some Shi'is do not have an interest in his poetry or that style of poetry in general, and don't pay attention to it.
In and of itself, there is no fiqh-based problem in writing or reciting poetry that provides wisdom, truths, and upliftment.
I feel it is good to introduce people to the teachings of the Ahl al-Bayt (A) through the hadith transmitted from the Imams. So, a good collection of hadith, such as _The Scale of Wisdom: A Compendium of Shi'i Hadith_, or the book that was circulated a couple decades ago, _A Bundle of Flowers_.
Some of the translations of books by Ayatollah Motahhari are also quite lucid and accessible.
Also sharing du'as like Du'a Kumayl.
One really knows more about what Shia Islam is about by reading these types of things and getting a sense of the worldview and understandings behind them, and what the tradition of scholarship is like, rather than some of the more polemical issues (such as the details of how to do wudhu or disagreements over specific personalities), unless the person has a specific interest in certain formal matters of sectarian debate. The essence of the differences between Sunnism and Shi'ism really goes beyond the types of sectarian issues that are debated about, but this sort of thing can be much harder to put into words.
You could ask them to provide a coherent answer to who it does refer to, because it is quite a struggle to find a list of 12 names - other than the 12 Imams - that somehow relate to each other and aren't arbitrary that fit that hadith.
However, these discussions are usually unfruitful because usually people approach them with their own preconceived biases in mind, so you have to decide whether or not there will be a benefit to the debate. Sometimes it is good just to say your point once, and then move on and let them ponder it on their own.
There is a lot of material you could look at online including on this website for more details on that hadith and ways it has been interpreted by Sunnis and Shi'is.