That is very good that you come from a religious family, and as a religious person you know what your obligations are.
In our Shi'i fiqh, it is permissible to marry anyone from other Islamic sects, as long as you are free to keep your Shi'i identity and uphold your Shi'i practices. You do not necessarily need to convert him to becoming a Shi'i, as this is something that comes from within.
It is his choice, if he is interested in learning about Ahlul Bayt (a.s.), and following the Imams (a.s.), or not, as long as he does not harbour hatred to the Ahlul Bayt (a.s.).
Something that you must keep in mind is his surroundings, and those influencing him. In some cases, the husband/wife might be neutral, or compliant, but then get negatively influenced by an extremist, or a Wahhabi, or a takfiri, and then this starts to have an impact on the marriage.
In early stages of life, he/she might not be that religious, but then after a while, they start to pick up on things, and condemn you for praying on soil, or mourning Imam Husain (a.s.), or wanting to go to Ziyarah, and so on.
This does happen, and so it is very important that both sides clarify everything and make sure there will be no sort of mistreatment based on sect.
Another thing that you must think of is because you are "in love", it might cloud your judgment as to whether you are making the right decision.
It is absolutely necessary that you consult with your parents, and also discuss things with your elders and family members, to make sure you have their consent, and also the decision you are making is the right decision. This should always be the case, whether the prospect spouse be Sunni, or Shi'i, or anything else.
So, if he has the positive requirements of a husband, and he meets all the conditions, along with your family's approval, then discuss that's a very good thing.
You can discuss topics related to Ahlul Bayt (a.s.), but it has to be his decision from within himself if he has the interest and wishes to learn more, or not. That must be his choice, and not something imposed on him.
With prayers for your success.
You can be a Shia Muslim by just believing in the main faith of Islam (There no God but Allah, and Muhammad is His Messenger and Ali is the successor after the Prophet). This faith is enough for you to become a Shia Muslim.
Obligatory acts are not condition to be a Shia Muslim although you need to do whatever you know and can afford.
When you perform Hajj, you need to get yourself circumcised before performing Tawaf around the Ka'bah.
Shia Muslims believe in and follow the truth only. The narration you referred to is a fabricated one as leading Sunni Shaikhs including Umar ibn al-Khttab never believed that Mut'ah marriage was prohibited anytime during the life of the Prophet (SAWA). That is why Umar has clearly said about Mut'ah: It was allowed during the time of the Messenger of Allah and I am prohibiting it. ( Musnad Aahmad Ibn Hanbal and Sunan al-Bayhaqi and Saheeh Muslim and many other Sunni sources).
Gog and Magog or Yaʾjuj wa Maʾjuj (Arabic: یَأجوج وَ مَأجوج) are tribes mentioned in the Qur'an and the religious texts of Judaism and Christianity. "Gog" and "Magog" are characterized in religious texts as a cruel group (مفسدون في الأرض)( Doing big mischief on earth) (Sura 18, Verse 94) who harassed and abused others and plundered their possessions. On the Qur'anic account, Dhu l-Qarnayn ذو القرنين constructed a dam, at the request of people who were oppressed by "Gog" and "Magog", in order to protect them against their aggression. The dam was known as "Sadd Dhu l-Qarnayn" (the Dam of Dhu l-Qarnayn) or the "Dam of Gog and Magog". Some people have speculated that the dam is located in northern Georgia. The Qur'an as well as the religious texts of Christianity and Judaism have referred to the destruction of the dam and the renewed riot of "Gog" and "Magog" as an event in End Time.
The Qur'an has referred to Gog and Magog in Sura al-Kahf, verses 93-98 and Sura al-Anbiya', verse 96 as people who did mischief in the land and harmed others. In Sura al-Anbiya', the riot of "Gog" and "Magog" is mentioned as an indication of the End Time.
In one of his journeys, Dhul Qarnayn, a believing king, arrived in a region which was located between two mountains. People of the region told him that "Gog" and "Magog" who lived on the other side of the mountain frequently invaded their lands and plundered everything. People asked Dhul Qarnayn to construct a dam preventing "Gog" and "Magog" in exchange for some money. With the help of people, he constructed a dam with molten iron and copper without receiving any money from them. The dam came to be known as the "Dam of Dhu l-Qarnayn" or the "Dam of Gog and Magog". The Qur'an has narrated the story in verses 93 to 98 of Sura al-Anbiya'. Some people believe that the dam is located in Darial Gorge in the north of Tbilisi on the Georgia-Russia border.
The Qur'an has mentioned that the riot of "Gog and Magog" is an indication of the events of the End Time. In the verse 96 of Sura al-Anbiya', God has reported about a sign of the End Time: "Until when Gog and Magog are let loose, and they race down from every slope."
Their riot in the End Time was also mentioned in the Book of Ezekiel in the Old Testament and the Book of Revelation of John in the New Testament.
If your non Shia father refuses to allow your marriage with a good Believing person, for no valid reason, and you need the marriage to save yourself from falling in sin, you can refer to your Marja' of Taqleed to seek his guidance.
It is disliked for a virgin girl to do Mut'ah marriage.
Yes it is allowed according to authentic evidence from Quran and Hadeeth from the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS) being studied and researched by Shia scholars.
Non Shia Muslims have little access to the most authentic Prophetic Hadeeths narrated by Ahlul Bayt (AS) , that is why many of them have misunderstood narrations and matters including this matter as well as Wudhu, temporary marriage, Divorce, daughters inheritance, photography etc.
Shi'i Muslims do not accept the prohibition on it found in some Sunni sources. They also do not see these things as "changing the creation of Allah" which is condemned as an act of Shatan in Qur'an 4:119.
This problem will not be solved by debating over the minutiae of whether "calling someone a kafir makes someone a kafir, so Sunnis are a kafir." Of course, you can discuss it, and it could be good to discuss it historically and religiously.
However, it is an excuse being put forward for a viewpoint, and if this excuse is disproved, another one will be presented.
The problem here is mindset, in particular,
(a) lack of understanding of the Prophetic message and how the Prophet (S) reached out to all people rather than excluding people to form an elite group,
(b) arrogance and egotism - thinking that one is part of the small, elite, saved group while everyone else is wrong floats one's ego, and is one of the subtler traps of Shaytan,
(c) a misunderstanding of the nature of Allah. Allah, as the creator of the universe, including the human being, is not so petty to kick people out of the ummah because of a handful of historical errors.
Sometimes also (d) some individiuals are benefitting from these ideologies, such as if they get followers or fans from spreading them and appealing to people's sense of clannishness.
To be fair there may also be (e) backlash against the Sunnis who call Shiis kafir and use that as an excuse for violence.
Surely we can understand that just as it is wrong for Sunnis to declare Shiis kafir, it is wrong to declare Sunnis kafir. We should treat others as we would like to be treated.
So basically these are the things that really need to addressed. A person who has humility before Allah and is not using their religious identity to bolster their own nafs or ego will not take it upon themself to decree masses of sincere people as kaafir.
Sometimes this takes time, such as years, and it won't happen in one or two sessions.
1. Sunnis are Muslims like us and it is completely wrong to claim that they are Kafirs.
2. Sunni are following different sects e.g. Hanafi, Shafi'ee, Maliki, Hanbali, Salati, Wahabi, Sufi, Barelwi, Deobandi etc.
There are also many Sunni sub sects. All of them Muslims even those extreme groups who claim that Shia are Kafir. We believe that those who call us Kaafir are Muslims but misguided.
3. Abu Talib is a great believer in Islam and protector of the Prophet (SAWA) and this fact is been admitted by mass majority of Sunni scholars. Small minority among Sunni Muslims claim that Abu Talib was non Muslim because of the enmity against imam Ali (AS).
4. Many Sunni scholars have written books about Abu Talib and his great status in Islam e.g. Ahmad Zaini Dahlan the Imam of the Haram of Makkah.
Thank you for your question. This work is not considered to be sufficient in terms of authenticity, and the ascriptions cannot be taken at face value, although it is possible for someone experienced in the field to make use of some of the concepts if they appear in traditions that are of a higher value in terms of authenticity.
May you always be successful
Here are 12 pieces of evidence that show that Mu'awiya used to curse, and encourage the cursing of, Imam Ali b. Abi Talib.
EVIDENCE 1 - IBN HAJAR AL-’ASQALANI
ثم كان من أمر علي ما كان فنجمت طائفة أخرى حاربوه ثم أشتد الخطب فتنقصوه واتخذوا لعنه على المنابر سنة
“Then it was the matter of Ali and a group of people fought against him, then the situation got more complicated and they began to belittle him and they made cursing Ali from the pulpits, a regular habit”
Source - Fath al-Bari Sharh Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 7 page 57
EVIDENCE 2 - MUHAMMAD ABU ZAHRA
“And during the reign of Banu Umayya the dignity of Ali was attacked, he was cursed because Mu’awiya during his reign introduced the ugly bid`ah of cursing Ali.
His successors continued this tradition until the reign of Umar bin Abdul Aziz. The tradition entailed cursing the Imam of Guidance Ali at the end of the Friday Sermons, the Sahaba’s remonstrations that this was wrong was ignored, Mu’awiya and his Governors refused to desist from their actions.
Ummul’Momineen Salma (ra) wrote a letter to Mu’awiya and his respective Governors reminding them that by cursing ‘Ali they were in fact cursing Allah (swt) and his Prophet (s)”.
Source - Ta’rikh Madhahib al-Islam, Volume 1 page 35
EVIDENCE 3 - AL-DHAHABI
He has recorded the following statement of an important early Sunni scholar called Abd al-Rahman b. ‘Amr al-Awza’i (d. 157 H):
سمعت الأوزاعي يقول : ما أخذنا العطاء حتى شهدنا على علي بالنفاق وتبرأنا منه
Al-Awzai said: ‘We didn’t obtain gifts until we testified that Ali was a hypocrite and declared our disavowal towards him”.
Source - Siyar A’lam al-Nubala, Volume 7 page 130
EVIDENCE 4 - AL-TABARI - A
When Muawiya Ibn Abi Sufyan put al-Mughairah Ibn Shubah in charge of Kufah in Jumada 41 (September 2- October 30, 661), he summoned him. After praising and glorifying God, he said:
“Now then, indeed a forbearing person has been admonished in the past… The wise might do what you want without instruction. Although I have wanted to advise you about many things, I left them alone, trusting in your discernment of what pleases me, what helps my regime and what sets my subjects [raiyyah] on the right path. I would continue to advise you about a quality of yours- do not refrain from abusing Ali and criticizing him, not from asking God’s mercy upon Uthman and His forgiveness for him. Continue to shame the companions of Ali, keep at a distance, and don’t listen to them. Praise the faction of Uthman, bring them near, and listen to them.”
Source - History of Tabari, English version, events of year 51 AH, Execution of Hujr Ibn Adi, v18, pp 122-123
EVIDENCE 5 - AL-TABARI - B
“The Messenger of Muawiya then came to them (Ziyad) with orders to release six and to kill eight, telling them:
We have been ordered to let you disavow Ali and curse him. If you do so, we shall release you, and if you refuse, we shall kill you. “
Source - History of Tabari, English version, events of year 51 AH, v18, p149
EVIDENCE 6 - AHMAD B. HANBAL
“From Abdillah al-Mazini who said: ‘When Muawiya left Kufa he employed al-Mughirah ibn Shubah. ’He said: al-Mughirah hired orators to insult Ali’.”
Source - Musnad Ahmad, Volume 3 page 185
EVIDENCE 7 - HASAN B. FARHAN AL-MALIKI
والي المدينة وهو مروان بن الحكم في زمن معاوية كان يسب ويأمر بسب علي على المنابر، هذه حقيقة تاريخية ثابتة
“The governor of Madina, Marwan bin al-Hakam during the reign of Mu’awyia used to curse Ali and ordered the cursing of Ali from the pulpits; this is an affirmed historical fact.”
Source - Nahw Inqad al-Ta’rikh, Volume 3 page 22
EVIDENCE 8 - MUSLIM B. HAJJAJ
“The Governor of Medina who was one of the members of the house of Marwan called Sahl Ibn Sa’d, and ordered him to curse Ali. But Sahl refused to do so. The governor said: “If you don’t want to curse Ali, just say God curse Abu Turab (the nickname of Ali).” Sahl said: “Ali did not like any name for himself better than Abu Turab, and Ali used to become very happy when somebody would call him Abu Turab.”
Source - Sahih Muslim, Chapter of Virtues of Companions, Section of Virtues of Ali, Arabic version, v4, p1874, Tradition #38
EVIDENCE 9 - IBN TAYMIYYA
وقد كان من شيعة عثمان من يسب عليا ويجهر بذلك على المنابر
“There were from the followers of Uthman ones who used to abuse Ali openly from the Mosque pulpits”
Source - Minhaj al Sunnah, Volume 6 page 201
وأما حديث سعد لما أمره معاوية بالسب فأبى
“While the narration about Sa’d (relates to) when Mu’awyia ordered him to curse (‘Ali) but he refused”
Source - Minhaj al-Sunnah, Volume 5 page 42
EVIDENCE 10 - AL-QURTUBI
وقول معاوية لسعد بن أبي وقاص : ما منعك أن تسب أبا تراب ؛ يدل : على أن مقدم بني أمية كانوا يسبون عليا وينتقصونه
“The statement of Mu’awyia to Sa’d bin Abi Waqas “What prevents you from cursing Abu Turab” indicates that the first generation of Bani Umayya would abuse and belittle Ali.”
Source - Al-Mufhim, Volume 20 page 25
EVIDENCE 11 - IBN KATHIR
فاشترط أن يأخذ من بيت مال الكوفة خمسة آلاف ألف درهم، وأن يكون خراج دار أبجرد له، وأن لا يسب علي وهو يسمع
“He (Hasan) placed conditions of having five million from Kufa’s treasury, the income from the taxes of the city of Darabjird and not to curse Ali when he (al Hasan) could hear that”
Source - Al Bidayah wal Nihayah, Volume 8 page 17
EVIDENCE 12 - IBN ‘ABD RABBIH
“When Hassan bin Ali died, Mu’awyia performed the Hajj, and then entered into Madina where he wanted to curse Ali from Prophet’s pulpit, thus they said to him: ‘Sa’d bin Abi Waqqas is right here and he will not accept your behaviour, you should ask him first.’ Thus he sent for him and asked him about this to which he (Sa’d) said: ‘If you did it, I shall leave the mosque and never come here again.’
Thus Mu’awiya restrained himself from cursing (Ali) until Sa’d passed away, when Sa’d died, he cursed him (Ali) from the pulpit and also ordered his governors to curse him from the pulpits and they (his governors) did likewise. Then Umm Salama, the wife of the Prophet (pbuh), wrote to Mu’awyia saying: ‘You are cursing Allah and his Messenger from your pulpits and that is as a result of cursing Ali bin Abi Talib and his lovers and I testify that Allah and his Messenger love him.’ However he (Mu’awyia) didn’t pay any attention to her statement”.
Source - al-’Iqd al-Farid, Volume 3 page 300
The enemies of Imam Ali (AS) have fabricated a meaning of a saying from the Prophet Muhammad (SAWA) to Imam Ali (AS) away from the real meaning. The Hadeeth is narrated in Shia and Sunni books that the Prophet (SAWA) told Imam Ali (AS) : Be happy,you are al-Anza' al-Bateen, No Shrik at all in you, and you are full of I'lm knowledge. ( Faraa'id al- Simtain by al- Jowaini 1/308 and a;-Manaaqib by al-Maghaazili 400 and Musnad Zayd Ibn Ali 456).
The enemies of Ahlul Bayt (AS) fabricated another meaning which completely away from the statement of the Prophet (SAWA), and claimed another meaning which suits their ill feelings against Imam Ali (AS).
Imam Ali (AS) is the Anza' الأنزع who has no Shirk at all in him, not the bold as they claimed. He was the Bateen البطين who is full of knowledge , not as they falsely claimed.