Marriage

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognised union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between those spouses, as well as between them and any resulting biological or adopted children and affinity (in-laws and other family through marriage). The definition of marriage varies around the world not only between cultures and between religions, but also throughout the history of any given culture and religion, evolving to both expand and constrict in who and what is encompassed, but typically it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged or sanctioned. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 1 year ago

It is normal for there to be complex emotions in these situations. Even in narrations, it says that a woman's jealousy over her husband is due to her love for him. This is apart from other concerns, such as about the financial effect.

There is nothing wrong with acknowledging the reality of your emotions. In any situation, is healthier to work through things such as anger or resentment because negative emotions can eat at us, and we are the ones who will suffer. However, this takes time and there isn't an instant fix. 

Bringing another person into the picture (either in terms of a second wife, or illicitly) also changes the relationship between two spouses, and it takes time for the relationship to adjust and to find a new normal. Also, sometimes it changes our own sense of identity and the way we relate to the world, since marriage is heavily tied to identity, and so sometimes it takes time to develop a different sense of self if there is a change in marital life. 

There is a certain wisdom in accepting that we cannot control other people's decisions, and to accept that people in our lives will do things that we wish they didn't. Allah only takes us to account for our own actions and choices. 

Ethically, it is good to treat correctly the other woman in the same way one would treat correctly any other person, especially if she is a sister in faith. 

In societies which are not structured to support polygyny, such as many urban areas today, and where it is a burden for a man to be equally responsible to two separate households, second marriages often don't last anyway, especially if the second wife is getting the lesser end of the deal (for instance, supporting herself and her children financially while the first wife is a housewife). (This is especially the case when the first marriage has been established for a long time and is not ending, and there isn't a strong reason pushing the man to take an additional wife.)

When the Prophet (S) and Imam Ali (A) had multiple wives, they didn't have to commute 4 hours in bad traffic after a 10 hour work shift and pay insurance and mortgages or exorbitant rent for both families, etc. The culture also was set up in a way that acknowledged polygamy, whereas some modern cultures are not even favorable to having one wife and child-raising, let alone multiple wives. Of course, this varies tremendously from place to place. 

Sometimes second/third/fourth marriages do last, and I don't want to give you a false hope, but just putting this out there. Time shows the end result of all things. 

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Culture of today which is mainly from the western media makes people thing wrong about some acts which were been approved and even practiced by the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS). If the western values calls your husband's second marriage with the condition of practical justice, a betrayal to you, then how do you look at a great lady like Ummul Banin (SA) who accepted many marriage of her husband Ameerul Mo'mineen (AS)?

Being unhappy with your husband's second marriage should not lead you to sinful acts like hurting him or accusing him or his second wife or her family or creating problems in the life of your husband even by changing your mode with him. You as a sincere believer in Allah, should accepts whatever Allah Has approved, and never show unhappiness with an act approved by Allah.

Your patience and acceptance to Allah's religion will give you a higher degree and great reward and will definitely make your life more successful.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Prophet Musa (AS) was married to Prophet Sho'aib's daughter after the incident mentioned in Quran in Sura Al-Qasas, verses 23, 24, 25, 26,27 and 28.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

We always need to take lessons from realities of life and study the majority of similar cases before emotionally going ahead with marriage proposals based on promises. Lot of marriages have taken place based on a promise to become a Muslim but ended up with different situations few years after the marriage. Emotions before marriage usually don't last long after marriage. Usually married couples face some issues and misunderstandings between them which can decrease their emotions towards one other. Studying the results of thousands  of similar cases should make us more careful before deciding as such decision is for life. As many similar promises were not fulfilled properly by many, we need to be sure that person has really accepted Islam for the sake of Allah and decided to follow the True religion. His real practice is must and not his promise. After he really practiced Islam like a good Muslim, then you can assess whether he is willing to remain a Muslim for life or just for the sake of marriage.

In fact just promising to be a Muslim will not make permissible for him to marry a Muslim girl, unless he is already a Muslim.

You need to be sure about your future and the future of your children.

Wassalam.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 1 year ago

Different people look at a thing and take different lessons from it.

However, one could glean from their marriage that when two people are sincere, mutually self-sacrificing, pool their wealth and talents, and committed to each other and a higher cause, they can accomplish anything!

I am sure there will be some other insights as well. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Such narration has not been found in any of our authentic books. If you read it is any book, you can ask the author about the source that he has taken from and send that source to us so that we can research the narrators and assess the authenticity of such narration.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

You should nicely explain to her the facts which you reached to. Try to give her the evidence which she can understand and accept. Many Sikh persons embraced Islam and became good Muslims following Ahlul Bayt (AS). You can use their evidence and writings to convince your wife.

If she insists on refusing Islam, then you as a Muslim will not be allowed to continue with a non Muslim wife.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Allah (SWT) The Most Merciful Will grant the believers in Paradise what ever they wish, as we read in Quran (Sura 43, Verse 71) and also in Sura 50, Verse 35.

That does not mean that all the believers in Paradise are in the same degree or rank. Degrees and ranks in Paradise are according to good deeds.

A pious virgin in Paradise will be granted what she wishes according to her degree. Allah's Mercy is over all and it will be more than our imaginations.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Temporary marriage (Mut'ah marriage) is an Islamic marriage which saves those who can not afford permanent marriage. You and her can agree on Mahr and time for the contract. If she is a virgin Muslim girl, her father's permission will be required. She can put a condition on you not to take her virginity until you have permanent marriage.

You can read on this website more details about temporary marriage (Mut'ah marriage) or ask your local Shia mosque scholars about its rules in Shariah.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

The issue of proving or denying the marriage of Jesus was a matter of discussion between many Christians. Catholics deny any marriage of Jesus, that is why Catholic priests do not marry, while many other Christians say that he got married and their priests marry. Mary the Magdalene has been mentioned in many Christian books as a wife of Jesus. 

We Muslims have no authentic evidence from Quran or Sunnah to stand firmly with or against the issue of the marriage of Jesus. Both possibilities are there.

If we take any of the two possibilities, there are valid reasons to justify it. Marriage is highly recommended in the Shari'a of Islam but we know that the Shari'a of previous prophets can differ in some parts.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Marriage is a human need for settled life with out tension and peaceful life with out sinful acts. Marriage is the only way of procreation with out which human beings would have diminished.
Sexual need is part of the feelings of most people and marriage (permanent or temporary) fulfills this human need.

Marriage is highly recommended in Islam and some cases it can be obligatory on those who can fall in sinful acts if they are not married.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

I have consulted a specialist who said that PCOS is not a difficult condition and it can be cured with correct treatment. In such case you do not need to inform your husband about it as far as the proper treatment is going on or will be started.

Wassalam.