Marriage

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognised union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between those spouses, as well as between them and any resulting biological or adopted children and affinity (in-laws and other family through marriage). The definition of marriage varies around the world not only between cultures and between religions, but also throughout the history of any given culture and religion, evolving to both expand and constrict in who and what is encompassed, but typically it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged or sanctioned. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 1 year ago

It is not required to have a shaykh to perform an Islamic marriage ('aqd, nikah). 

However, in most cultures, a religious, spiritual, or community leader customarily performs a marriage. This lends a certain sanctity to it, and also gives it a social and communal recognition and situates it into the tapestry of the community, moving it from merely a private relationship to a communal one.

It also adds an extra security or safety network in case there are, later, questions or difficulties about the marriage. 

In my observation, Islamic marriages which are conducted privately by the bride and groom, or informally (say, by the bride and groom's friend) and which are done outside of a social structure often do not seem to have the longevity of marriages which are done by a third party who is recognized by the community.  Or, sometimes there is something about the situation that is not quite right. 

Exceptions  apply of course. This is not a matter of halal or haram, merely an observation.

If one is planning to get married without a shaykh or religious leader involved, a good question is why - is there a genuine reason why this is being done, and is all well? Or is there something not quite right about the situation that they don't want someone to know about, that might later resurface and cause problems in the marriage? 

Just some thoughts. Wishing everyone the best in their marriage life!

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Engagement is declaring the intention of marriage between a man and a woman who both are agreeable. Virgin girl marriage requires her father's approval or approval from her paternal grand father. It is the first step leading to Islamic contract of marriage which is called A'qd in Arabic or Nikah in Urdu. Agreement in engagement by itself does have any effect on man ir woman as far as rules of Mahram and non Mahram are concerned. Both remain non Mahram and must apply rules of full Hijab, until the A'qd or Nikah is recited between them. Engagement does put on man to spend on the engaged woman, nor puts on the woman any obligations or duty of married wife. Breaking the engagement remains in the hands of any of them if they found that they can not continue with it. Engagement can be terminated by both or by any one from them and it does not need any recitation like Talaq, nor any Mahr is to be paid after termination of engagement. Engagement does not make the woman a Mahram to the father of the man, nor man become a Mahram to her mother.

Some persons think that after the engagement they are allowed to shake hands or talk intimately or go out together for shopping or dining etc. This is wrong and sinful because there is no A'qd yet.

'We read in our history the engagement was immediately followed by reciting the A'qd or Nikah with no gap. If there a gap of time, both man and woman need to wait and control over themselves till A'qd or Nikah is properly recited.

Wassalam.

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 year ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Just to clarify something. In Islam, we have the Islamic marriage contract, which we call nikah, and that is when the bride and groom have their nikah ceremony, making them mahram and Islamically husband and wife. 

This does not necessarily mean they are living together, which is why some might call this "engagement", and then a while later they have their "wedding" ceremony, and move in to live together. 

In regards to the nikah, it can be done by anyone, as long as the correct requirements are met. 

Hopefully that answers your question.

And Allah knows best

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 year ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If a man was to conduct a secret marriage with another Muslim woman without telling his wife, that nikah he did is considered valid, although it is not advisable in any way, for the many ramifications it will have. 

A spousal relationship is based on trust, transparency, commitment and loyalty. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answer updated 1 year ago

Virgin girl does need her father's permission for her marriage if her father is a Muslim and does not reject the marriage for un Islamic reasons. Your father does not need to attend your Nikah but he must agree on it if it is your first marriage.

There are certain cases when this condition becomes void like when you need the marriage to save yourself from sinful act, and your father is refusing the marriage for reasons which are invalid in Islam.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Your female cousin is non Mahram to you and it is not allowed for you to look at her with out Hijab, nor talk to her in any emotional or love words unless you enter with her in a temporary marriage contract with its conditions.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

We are not dealing here with legal matters nor giving any legal advice. We are dealing with Islamic matters and reflecting the rulings of the leading scholars ( Maraaji' of Taqleed). Muslim should not break the law of the country where he lives unless it contradicts with his faith and religion.
Main matter in second marriage is fulfilling the Islamic conditions of practical justice between wives. If this condition is not fulfilled, second marriage will be not permissible in Islam.

If your question is a legal question, you should ask your legal adviser.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answer updated 1 year ago

Kitab al-Fitan by Na'eem ibn Hammaad Al-Maroozi (died 228 Hijri) can not be taken for granted and fully authentic in all its contents and narrations. Many Sunni scholars in Hadeeth like Al-Nasaa'ee and Ibn Hajar and Al-Dhahabi and al-Daar Qutni mentioned Na'eem or Nu'aim ibn Hammaad as not authentic narrator despite the fact the he was a Sunni like them. This narration does not have a continuous chain of authentic narrators, that is why we can not take it as authentic. Anwar Shah Kashmiri was a Deobandi Shaikh in the Indian subcontinent who died in 1933 and his mentioning this narration needs an authentic chain of narrators, which he failed to mention , so we can not take the narration with out that.

Wassalam.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 1 year ago

Sorry to hear that - it can be difficult to find a good spouse, and a family is blessed when someone suitable wishes to marry their child; not everyone has the opportunity to marry a compatible spouse. 

In addition to the advice already given, du'a is also good.

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Marriage in Islam is based on proper religion and good manners, and not on tribal or economic or any other worldly reason.

Your father might have his own cultural reasons for marriage which are not valid in Islam. You must be very polite with him and try your best to explain to him the teachings of the Prophet (SAWA) and AHLUL BAYT (AS). 

You might need to seek assistance from people who are respected by your father to explain to him.

You might need to wait till your father is convinced.

You might also seek help from your mother to try to talk to convince him in nice way.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Marriage in Islam does not require big amount of money. In fact it is recommended to keep the amount of Mahr (Dowry) affordable and not big amount.

Marriage in Islam can be a permanent marriage for those who can afford it and can be a temporary as well. In any case, Muslim must keep himself away from any sinful act whether he is married or not married. Those who want to get married to protect themselves from falling in sinful acts, will be helped by Allah as we read in many Quranic verses and authentic Hadeeths.

Wassalam.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 1 year ago

You never really know about people. Even in the time of the Prophet (S), there were hypocrites who pretended to be Muslim. Only Allah knows what is in the heart, and only Allah knows whether people will follow through with a lifetime commitment (such as converting to a religion - or, for that matter, having a lifelong marriage).

Many of the sahabah converted instantly. So if he converts tomorrow, he could be an Abu Dharr or a Salman al-Farsi. Or he could be... someone else. One way you can glean some idea of this is with respect to how he is with commitment in life, in general. Has he followed through on other commitments, or does he tend to jump around from thing to thing? This still doesn't give you a full picture but gives you some idea. 

Also, people sometimes change throughout life anyway - there is no guarantee that the person you marry will be the same person forever. 

So, you can never know for sure, but it is good to follow your intuition and good judgment and advice from people you trust and who have wisdom. If you are having doubts, possibly your intuition is picking up on signs that your rational mind is dismissing. 

You could wait some time after he has converted (say, a couple years) before committing to the marriage to see how he does with Islam. 

That said, it is not respectful to doubt that someone is sincere about his religious belief simply because he was not born into it (unless there are some signs that the person is insincere or not thinking straight), and respect is important for marriage. So this should also be sorted out before marriage. 

It is not uncommon for women to convert at the time of marriage to a Muslim man and often they remain in the faith and become strong Muslims. Of course, the social situation and experiences of men are somewhat different, but just putting that out there.