Istikhara

Salat al-Istikharah (Arabic: صلاة الاستخارة‎) is a prayer recited by Muslims when in need of guidance on an issue in their life. The salat is a two raka'ah salat performed to completion followed by the supplications Salat al-Istikharah.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 week ago

Bismihi ta'ala

A marriage should not be based on the answer of an Istikharah. You must decide on marrying the person based on a combination of things, from being religious, pious, high moral standards, good family, compatibility, shared ambitions, and so on. 

What you should do in the situation you are in is find commonalities and work on the areas in which both of you connect. If he is a good person, and he has positive qualities, for sure things will work out for both of you. It is unrealistic for anyone to assume that we will share all similarities with our spouse, as there are always going to be things we differ on. 

People change as well. You might not feel the connection because you were expecting something else, or had some image of an ideal spouse, or maybe you felt something else, but as you are married now, you are able to find ways in strengthening your bond with your husband. 

With prayers for your success.

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Abbas Di Palma, Shaykh Abbas Di Palma holds a BA and an MA degree in Islamic Studies, and certifications from the Language Institute of Damascus University. He has also studied traditional Islamic sciences in... Answered 1 month ago

as salam alaikum

What has been widely and most-authentically reported from the Prophet and the Ahl al-Bayt is the istikharah performed by du'a that also can be preceded by two-rakat salat.

With prayers for your success.

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If the person had the intention not to follow the Istekhara if it come out bad, the Istekhara is invalid. Istekhara means seeking guidance from Allah whether we like it or not. The intention of not following it if it come out bad means that the person is not seeking guidance from Allah through Istekhara, rather wants to dictate what he wants on the Istekhara. Such act is wrong and has no value.

Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Marriage should not be based on istikharah. There are many more important steps you can take that would assure you some level of confidence that you are marrying the right person, and your spouse selection method is correct. 

You and your family must first rely on finding information about the prospect spouse. A background check from his/her family members, friends, associates, colleagues, community leaders, and so on.

Istisharah is also very important. This means you seek consultation and ask for advice about the situation you are in and who the person is, and their family, and take the advice. 

This is healthier than just repeating istikharahs for the same scenario, and not wanting to follow the answer the the istikharah. The first time you did the istikharah, if it did not turn out the way you wanted to, deep inside, then it means that you had already made your decision.

In any case, pay some sadaqah, consult with your family, seek advice, and then decide what you are going to do. Evaluate who they are as far as compatibility, how religious they are, what level of akhlaq do they have, their reputation, and so on.

With prayers for your success.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

The first question is why did he do an Istikharah if he is absolutely convinced on wanting to marry you? 

Either he is two-minded and indecisive about it, or he's confused, or he doesn't know what istikharah is. 

He must first make his firm decision on what he wishes to do, and whether he wants to marry you or not. 

As for the istikharah turning out negative, what he can do is pay sadaqah, wait a while, see if circumstances have changed, see if he is decisive about his plans, and then either go ahead with marrying you or not. If he's still reluctant, then neither he nor you should waste any more of your time. Wish each other the best, and pursue your lives without being worried, as for sure more marriage opportunities will come your way.

With prayers for your success.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 2 months ago

Technically you are married (even if psychologically or socially you are single), so if you want to marry someone else, you should first get a divorce, and then observe iddah if necessary.

Istikhara is not appropriate for a thing which is inherently forbidden (and to marry someone else while you are married is forbidden).

This is why it is not a good idea to let a nikah without an actual marriage hang for a long time, whether it is as an engagement or after marriage. Of course it happens and I am not saying it is your fault personally, as usually it is the fault of society, but I am just saying it is not a healthy situation.

Anyway I hope you can resolve your marital situation soon (or, rather, dissolve it, if that is your intent).
 

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 3 months ago

You can, but, over time, you may come to understand the meaning of the istikhara and why it was negative. 

It is not necessary to give kaffarah.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 6 months ago

Istikhara in the Shi'i tradition answers the question of "what should I do?", not "what will happen?" It is useful if you have a clear choice in front of you ("should/shouldn't I do this?") and the ability to act on that choice.

From your question, it sounds like you currently do not have the choice to marry or not-marry him. That is, the matter is not in your hands. Therefore, if the question was just, "Should I marry him?", that is not a valid question.

However, if the question was something like "should I encourage my mother to reconsider the marriage?" and the answer was yes, I doubt there is any harm in doing that. 

(I don't get the sense that he is asking you to marry him without your family's permission and you are trying to decide whether or not to do it. If that is your situation, feel free to submit another question.)

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 7 months ago

It is not advisable to go against the Istikhara, but it is not Haraam to do so.

If the circumstances have changed, you can seek another Istikhara.

Wassalam.

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Abbas Di Palma, Shaykh Abbas Di Palma holds a BA and an MA degree in Islamic Studies, and certifications from the Language Institute of Damascus University. He has also studied traditional Islamic sciences in... Answer updated 9 months ago

as salam alaikum

the purpose of istikharah is not to tell what will happen in the future but to indicate the best course of actions to be undertaken by the believer who put his trust in Allah.

One of the underlying notions in the Du'a Istikharah of Imam Zayn al-'Abidin, peace be upon him, is that the servant should be pleased with what Allah has decreed for him. In it there is a huge wisdom that the servant may realize later on, or even after his lifetime.

It is important however to consider istikharah as a du'a and a request to Allah, not a prediction of future events.

With prayers for your success.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 9 months ago

The Istikhara binds or guides the person who did it not others. It can be possible that the parents want guidance on the future of a proposed marriage through Istikhara, but that is for them.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

The Istikhara done by a person does not bind other person even if they are husband and wife unless it was done by request from the husband and his wife was just doing it on his behalf and on his intention.

Wassalam.