Father

Bismihi ta'ala

I think the initial response you would probably hear is be patient, he is probably under pressure, try not to take sides, and so on. 

However, if such a man has no consideration for religious teachings or moral conduct, then the only solution is authority. Once upon a time elders would intervene, and such a husband/father would be deterred and feel ashamed, resulting in stopping such behaviour. Unfortunately, our communities do not have that level of respect anymore. 

It starts with your mother, as she needs to have the courage and ability to leave him. She must know that by her staying in this relationship she is exposing her children to violence, trauma and irreversible damage. She probably comes from a mindset that no matter what, the husband/father can do anything, but this is extremely wrong and damaging. 

By contacting the authorities, although your mother, or even some family members would be upset with you, but you are stopping and preventing harm upon your mother and your siblings. 

The police, social workers, court, etc will be able to give something to him that you or your mother cannot, and that is help. He needs help, for anger management, maybe for mental stability. Maybe just a reminder that he cannot get away with this kind of oppressive behaviour, and so on. 

You will certainly be doing the right thing and bring this to an end.

These are my views on domestic violence and living with someone who systematically and continuously abuses family members. Of course, you should try to consult with someone close to you, and reach out for help, and also pray for your father as well. 

In shaa Allah other specialists in this forum will give suggestions and advice to you as well.

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

It is very important for us as parents to teach our children independence and self-reliance as early as possible. It is not only good for the child's personality, building their life skills and self-esteem, but it is also good for the parents as well.

We can see how Islam encourages us to categorise the different stages of growth a child goes through, and to cater to each stage in its correct way. 

If your child does not have any physical difficulties that would impede her from doing these things on her own, it is highly encouraged from now to start teaching her these things so she can do them on her own. 

The more you delay it, the more difficult it will be for her to learn. Start with toilet training, getting her to learn how to clean herself, on her own. Then gradually give her the confidence that she can shower by herself, and so on. 

As for sleeping, I am sure you know how important it is for each child to sleep separately, on their own. Try to read about this topic from the viewpoint expert child psychologists. 

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

If you know that your brother would be ok with you using his amanah in a wise and responsible way, and that you would return it back to your brother once he asks for it, then you are allowed to lend that money to your father. 

And Allah knows best.

Bismihi ta'ala

Of course, it is indeed difficult when a son/daughter is faced with such a predicament of dealing with a difficult parent. It is usually inherent within a Muslim that we want to obey and be loyal to our parents.

However, there could be some parents, for whatever reason (mental, social, cultural), who become not just difficult to be with, but intolerable. 

This is all based on the assumption that your judgment, as a son/daughter is absolutely correct, and beyond any doubt based on true evaluation. The reason why I say this is because you might think your father is "dictatorial", but for the wrong reasons.

You might believe he is oppressing you because he doesn't allow you to go out with certain friends, or work in a certain field, or marry a certain individual. In these scenarios, or any other similar scenario, although you believe your father isnt being fair to you, it does not mean he is "dictatorial" or oppressing you. 

That's why circumstances would certainly be different, based on the case each family is in. 

Seeing that you have genuine requests, and legal requests, try to find other avenues of getting your father to cooperate and acknowledge your rights and your feelings. 

Maybe seek intervention, through family members, elders, family counselor, psychologist, and so on. 

You cannot just abandon your father, or disown him, but at the same time you cannot continue allowing your genuine requirements to be ignored. 

Ultimately, an effective tool is always for you to pray for him, and to pray for your situation. 

With prayers for your success.   

Bismihi ta'ala

A "step-father" should aim at trying to become a father figure for his wife's children, and treat them like his own children. One positive way of treating children is by showing affection and loving care, through kissing the children, hugging them, and treating them in the best way possible. 

And Allah knows best. 

Bismihi ta'ala

In this situation, there would not be any problem in the surname he chooses, and hopefully he will somehow be able to find information about his family.

And Allah knows best.

Bismihi ta'ala

This is an circumstantial case that must be looked at individually. Why is the father refusing? Under what pretense? 

It would all come down to negotiation and finding ways of making sure the parents are content. Yes, she is an adult, and she could even be allowed to marry lawfully without her father's consent, but as Muslims we strive towards keeping our parents happy. 

If after negotiation, and intervention from family and elders to convince the father, he is still adamant about his refusal, and it is unwarranted, that is when it would be advisable to involve your scholar. 

We must always remember if we misuse any authority given to us, we will become oppressors and our punishment will be severe. 

And Allah knows best.