Silat al-Rahm

112120

Is Silet ar-Rahm only obligatory towards close relatives or also towards distant relatives?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 week ago

You need to good terms and nice relationship with every relative who is considered by your society as relative of yours. Basic relatives are your parents, their brothers, their sisters and their children. Relatives of your parents are also included in your relatives.

If your wife is not from your relatives, her relatives are not considered from your relatives, although it is always good to keep very good relationship with your in-laws.

Wassalam.

111403

Silat al-Rahm

Am I cutting ties with relatives if I don't talk to them very often, but don't actually intend to cut off ties with them and occasionally talk with them?

Stopping talking to any of your relatives should not be more than three days as the Hadeeth states: Muslim is not allowed to boycott his Muslim brother more than three days. They meet, and each of them tries to turn his face from the other, and best of them who starts Salam on the other.

Being in contact with our relatives does need daily talk, but usual ways of contacts e.g. messaging, phoning, emailing, sending Salam or gift etc which is understood by common person as a contact. If the relative is far and you con not contact him every three days, that is not Haraam as far your contact with him is understood by both of you as a normal situation of good ties between you.

Short cutting of the contact is not acceptable as long cutting.

Wassalam.

Silat al-Rahm

Am I cutting ties with relatives if I don't talk to them very often, but don't actually intend to cut off ties with them and occasionally talk with them?

Sayyed Muhammad Husaini Ragheb, Sayyed Muhammad Husaini Ragheb has a BA in Law from Guilan University, Iran and has also undertaken Hawzah studies in Qom. He is a Cultural Affairs director of Ethics Group of Al-Mustafa Open... Answered 1 month ago

Salam
I hope my previous answer helps you :
https://www.al-islam.org/ask/most-of-my-relatives-live-in-iran-while-i-a...

109907

Silat al-Rahm

Most of my relatives live in Iran while I am in England. What do I have to do to maintain Silah al-Rahm? Must I call every single person in Iran or is conveying Salam to them enough?

Salaam

Silatul-Arhaam can be achieved by simply texting them through social media that we use on a daily basis, it should be noted that cutting the ties is forbidden.
Yes we may say that the least type of it can also be achieved by conveying salaam to them and assuring them through closer relatives that you have not forgotten them.

110785

Brother . Family . Mother . Silat al-Rahm

I have a toxic brother who has disrespected every member of my family multiple times including spitting on our mother. Am I allowed to cut ties with him?

Not at all. No matter how bad is your brother or relative, you should never cut ties with him but you should avoid endorsing his wrong acts.

You must keep a link with him through any suitable way of communication and keep advising and guiding him as and when you have a chance.

Wassalam.

110144

Mother . Son . Silat al-Rahm

Is it allowed for the mother to completely cut ties and abandon her son and would it be considered Qat’a ar-Rahm? Would it also be Qat’a ar-Rahm for the son if he doesn’t want to talk to her?

Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answer updated 1 month ago

Bismillah,

Asalamu Alaykom,

It is not allowed for one to completely cut ties with those who it is wajib to keep ties with. Yes, one may not have a good relationship with a certain family member and may not want to see them face to face, however there are a number of actions to still keep minimum contact which would not be considered cutting them off entirely. This could be through the phone, email or messaging apps which society would consider still keeping a relationship.

With parents one should try as much as possible to keep a good relationship and the son ignoring his mother would be doing qat al rahm.

May Allah swt grant you success

108997

Introvert . Silat al-Rahm

I am an introvert and gathering with relatives is quite awkward for me. I also know that Silat ar-Rahim is required in Islam. What should I do?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 2 months ago

The minimum requirements for silat al-rahm are not too extensive, and there is no shariah requirement that you attend specific gatherings. So it seems like, perhaps, you are more concerned about not wanting to offend your relatives by not attending gatherings; or, perhaps, they are pressuring you. (Or perhaps you are afraid of God, in which case, God created you, and God understands how you feel.) In any case, it seems that what is necessary is to find a balance between your personal needs and their social expectations.

If these are your blood relatives (not adopted relatives, in-laws, etc), it would not be surprising if some of them feel the same way, since personality traits tend to run in the family. So maybe some of them might understand how you feel and also have some suggestions. For instance, there is no reason why, according to shariah, you can't have smaller visits and keep up with your relatives individually, once in a while, on a one-to-one basis, instead of in a big group; or on the telephone/internet, rather than at large gatherings. This might be more comfortable; although this may not fit their preferences.

Tendencies towards introversion or extroversion appear to be inborn and lifelong. However, one of the tasks of adulthood is to develop our opposite, less dominant traits. So, for an introvert, this is developing more facility with socializing or "people-y" situations.

(I can sympathize as I am also very strongly on the introvert side!)

If you haven't already, you could try reading some of the books available today about socializing for introverts and introvert psychology, since there might be some useful tips about managing busy social situations, recovering your own personal energy after being around too many people, finding your own boundaries, ways to tell people that you need time to yourself, and so forth.

In my view, due to the spread of digital communications, it is more common these days for people to feel awkward in in-person social gatherings, regardless of whether they are introverts or extroverts, so you could also look at things that have been written about social anxiety or awkwardness. (I am NOT saying you are suffering from this, just saying that it seems to be more common, and there might be something useful.)

Similarly, it's good to remember that other people also sometimes feel awkward in social situations and just don't say it.

Inshallah I hope you find some solutions that work for you!

93938

Parents . Silat al-Rahm . Marriage . Forgiveness

Is it permissible for my parents to cut off ties with my cousin if she ran away and got married against her family's wishes over a decade ago and the rest of her family has since forgiven her and re-established ties with her?

Mateen Charbonneau, Sheikh Mateen Joshua Charbonneau achieved a certificate from Harvard University in Islamic Studies. He undertook Howza classes under esteemed scholars since 2013 and has been teaching at Imam Mahdi... Answered 10 months ago

We should strive to maintain our family relationships and not break them off.

80134

Wedding . Engagement . Silat al-Rahm

Is it allowed not to attend a wedding or engagement party, such as of a close relative, because it includes aspects that are against our Sharia law?

It is compulsory to abide to Islamic rule in every circumstance. Attending a party of close relatives which included sinful acts is not permissible.

Obeying Allah is above pleasing any one else.

Wassalam.

71488

Father . Silat al-Rahm

I had a fight with my father, left the house and moved to a different location, then my father also moved somewhere else. I want to patch up with him but he does not want to keep any relation with me and does not take my calls. What is my obligation?

You must keep on trying and trying to apologize from him and get his pardon. Allah (SWT) orders us to be nice to our parents even if they are non believers or wrong doers. You should not join their wrong but you must deal with them in the best way. Seek help of relatives and friends who can talk to him and do everything possible to make him forgive you. It is not an option but an obligation of the top priority.

Wassalam.

64804

Parents . Silat al-Rahm

What is one's Islamic responsibility if their parents order them to ignore a relative and not to converse with them even if that aunt or uncle still want to keep in touch?

You must (as a compulsory duty) keep in touch with all your relatives even if your parents do not like some of them. Cutting ties with any of your relatives is a major sin. Your parents are not allowed to cause or order any sinful act because the obedience of Allah (SWT) is more important than obeying your parents.

You should not do any thing which degrades your parents like criticizing or blaming them.

You can keep in touch with such relatives who are disliked by your parents, without announcing, to avoid hurting the feelings of your parents.

Wassalam.

61210

Silat al-Rahm

Does it count as a case of breaking relations with kin if you do not stay in touch with them for years but when you do meet the relationship is perfectly fine?

Yes, it counts as weak or poor relations with kin, which is very bad.

We must be always in contact with our relatives in usual way which are applied and accepted by our society e.g. visiting them, talking to them on phone, texting them, emailing them, writing to them etc.

Wassalam.