Spouse

A spouse is a significant other in a marriage, civil union, or common-law marriage. The term is gender neutral, whereas a male spouse is a husband and a female spouse is a wife.

83843

Spouse . Du'a (Supplication) . Marriage

Is it permissible to make Dua to marry a spouse from a different race or ethnicity on account of admiring their culture and finding them generally more attractive?

Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answer updated 2 years ago

Bismillah,

Asalamu Alaykom,

The main things one should consider in looking for a spouse is religiosity and good manners. However there is no problem in preferring a specific type or also marrying someone if you like their culture.

Let's say for example that a woman wanted a Persian looking husband and liked Persian culture; this preference wouldn't be an issue as long as she pursued this in a halal manner.

So you may make dua for a religious spouse who fits your personal preferences.

May Allah grant you success

81161

Spouse . Dunya . Materialism

I understand that Islamic teachings suggest that religiosity and good character are the criteria for choosing a groom. Is it practical and sensible to follow this in this materialistic world and yet have a good spouse?

Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 2 years ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. There is no dichotomy between a virtuous spouse and success in the material world. In fact, the virtues taught by Islam enable the most beautiful of lives. Good character traits also include hard work, a sense of responsibility, and independence. The goal is not to hide from the world, but to have a strong enough relationship with God so as to not be stained by its negative aspects. That in itself is a journey.

May you always be successful

79888

Man . Spouse . Sexual

Is a man allowed to swallow his spouse's fluids during intercourse?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 years ago

Any Najis material is not allowed to swallow. Even if the material is not Najis, you should seek a medical advise to be sure that it should not harm your health.

Wassalam.

70281

Spouse . Marriage

Can we choose our own spouse for marriage?

Bismillah,

Asalamu Alaykom,

Yes, it is the right of a Muslim to chose their future spouse and not be forced to marry.

May Allah grant you success

69493

Obedience . Husband . Spouse

In regards to obedience towards the husband, is his decision supposed to be dictatorial or one made after discussions with his spouse?

Abbas Di Palma, Shaykh Abbas Di Palma holds a BA and an MA degree in Islamic Studies, and certifications from the Language Institute of Damascus University. He has also studied traditional Islamic sciences in... Answer updated 2 years ago

as salam alaikum

a wife should obey her husband provided that he would guide her towards the best and according to obedience to Allah. There is no obedience to any creature that implies disobedience to the Creator.

Man has been given a major role in certain aspects of life, naturally and religiously. On the other side, to the woman belongs a leading role in other issues, naturally and religiously. Other roles, may be performed by both. A religious family should aim at achieving happiness in this world and the Hereafter. Members should help each other and sacrifice themselves for the sake of Allah.

Generally speaking, consultation should always be taken in consideration if possible, keeping in mind that the main focus is to please Allah and not to hurt each other.

With prayers for your success.

65518

Woman . Spouse . Divorce

How can a woman get divorced from her spouse?

as salam alaikum

several ahadith discourage divorce to the point that has been said: "The most hated from what is lawful is divorce". Sometimes divorce is necessary but this usually should take place as a last resort after consulting wise people and attempts of reconciliation. In the case of divorce the husband may accept the separation on his wife's request in return of a payment that she may take or detract from her mahr. This practice is called "khul'ah"

If the situation become islamically unbearable for the wife, she can consult an Islamic Judge that may decide a divorce to take place. Some of the cases that leads an Islamic Judge to such decision are the followings:

1) Refusal of the husband to pay his wife's maintenance.

2) Unacceptable behavior from the husband that unjustifiably hurts and/or abuse his wife physically or emotionally.

3) Lack of religiosity of the husband to the point that becomes unbearable for the wife to continue to live with him.

In any case, it should not be a hasty decision but very pondered one with continuous prayers and appealing to Allah asking for the best outcome.

With prayers for your success.

67109

Girl . Hijab . Spouse

Is a girl who wears Hijab perfect to be a suitable spouse?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 3 years ago

No one is perfect, and no one is a perfect spouse! We all have flaws. It is not good to idealize someone too much before marriage, because, after marriage, we discover they are only human beings, and it can open the door to disappointment.

However, there is no harm in considering your spouse perfect *after* you are married. It might avoid many arguments. :)

There are many factors that go into a happy and lasting marriage - for instance, physical attraction, personal compatibility, commitment, treating someone nicely, and the willingness to compromise. None of these relate specifically to hijab.

It is recommended to marry someone of faith who is conscious of Allah. If hijab reflects a person's faith, that is a good sign. However, hijab is not a guarantee of a happy marriage or even of shared views about Islam. So it is safer not to stereotype and to look at the individual instead.

However, it is good if there is agreement about the matter of hijab. That is, if a young man is looking to marry a girl who wears hijab, and the girl wears hijab, then this is a source of agreement and one less possible source of conflict.

63719

Hajj . Spouse . Income . Homemaking

Is Hajj obligatory on a spouse who is a homemaker and does not earn income?

Hajj is prescribed for both men and women in Islam and is obligatory one time on anyone who is able to perform it.

If she is not able to perform hajj (because she cannot afford it, because it would cause hardship, because she is physically unable to, because she cannot get a visa, or for other reasons), then it is not obligatory right now.

Sometimes we are not able to do things in life because of our circumstances, and this is part of life. We are not responsible for the things we cannot do.

As the Qur'an says, Allah does not intend to burden us!

If she is not able to go, it is good for her to pray for Allah to grant her the opportunity to go in the future and to have the intention to go if it becomes possible. How often are prayers to go to hajj answered!

If her circumstances change so that she becomes able to do it, then it becomes obligatory.

However the intent behind Islamic law is that everyone who can perform hajj does so regardless of whether they are a homemaker or not.

57209

Sexual . Spouse

What are the limits of sexual intimacy with one's spouse? What acts are encouraged and which ones are impermissible?

Zeinab Donati, Zeinab Donati has been studying books about various Islamic subjects for more than 19 years. She is deeply interested in history and politics as well as social issues in particular those pertaining... Answered 3 years ago

This question and the whole etiquette of marriage, what is permitted, allowed, and impermissible is nicely explained in the following books: Marriage and Morals in Islam by Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi: https://www.al-islam.org/marriage-and-morals-islam-sayyid-muhammad-rizvi/chapter-three-islamic-sexual-morality-2-its

I also suggest to browse the category if Marriage of Al-Islam.org to find more useful texts and lectures on the subject: https://www.al-islam.org/library/marriage

51492

Wife . Qur'an . Spouse

Why is the word 'zawj' translated as wife in the Qur'anic verse 64:14 when it actually means spouse?

Zawj زوج means spouse and not only wife. The translation which you are referring to is not accurate. It should be (O believers, some of your spouses and children are enemies to you, so beware of them) 64:14.

Wassalam