Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 year ago

Bismihi ta'ala

A wife is entitled to having an independent place of her own, with her husband/children. This can be a house on its own, or a section of a house shared by others, but with their independence and privacy.

In a situation where the wife is not comfortable living with her in-laws, she is able to deal with this in a variety of ways, but the one main issue is never to allow problems to escalate. 

Parent-in-laws are like parents, and hence they must be respected and revered.

Try to look at things from a different perspective, finding ways of comprehending their side of the situation. By doing this, you will eliminate your possible sensitivity towards things they might say or do to you. 

Try to establish boundaries privacy and independence, where they grant you what you are entitled to have. 

Try to explain things that you might not be comfortable with, by communicating with those around you, politely and with utmost respect. 

Do your side of contributing to the house, whatever it may be, and do it with passion and precision, so that you are not criticised. 

Your husband has an important role in all of this, not just to mediate, but to also explain to both sides of his family and you how all can live harmoniously and get used to each other.

There must be some set plan and strategy as to when you will all be living on your own. The plan might be to live with them until you are financially stable to go out on your own, or to purchase a house, or something like that, but there must be some scheduled plan.

If you have tried all of these things, try again and again, all for the sake of avoiding further altercation and to sustain the relationship you have with your husband. 

Hopefully, with patience and understanding you will not know accomplished the skill of containing problems, but also reached your goal of living independently and on your own so that you can both build a family together, in shaa Allah.

Wassalam