Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

23 Questions

We need to repeat Estighfaar day and night, and repeat long Sojood (Prostration) whenever we can. It is also useful to visit grave graves of our known persons and remember that they went before us and we are definitely going after them and difference between them and us but only the date of departure. It is also useful to put your hand in head of an orphan out of kindness and respect. This act makes heart more soft.

Wassalam.

You must always treat your parents in the best possible way of treatment and look after them and serve them to make them always happy with you. If they ask something which out of your ability, try to explain to them, but never hurt their feelings.

‘Wassalam 

Sometimes mothers find it hard to accept that their children are adults. If the child is now a man, then he needs to be respected as a man, and not emasculated and controlled by a woman, even if that woman is his mother. If the child is a woman, the mother needs to understand  that by attempting to micromanage her daughter's life she is actually crippling her emotionally, and this will cause problems either with finding a husband for her daughter, or with her daughter's already existing marriage.  According to the teachings of the Ahl al-Bayt (as), the respect due to parents is conditional upon how they treat their children. It is well known that according to ahadith, it is recommended that after the age of fourteen, the child should be treated as a 'friend', not as a seven-year-old. There is a non confrontational method of establishing boundaries called "grey rock", which you can find out more about on YouTube. You may also want to research "narcissistic" or "controlling" mothers, and something else called "emotional enmeshment". I will update this answer further with references inshaAllah.

You must tolerate and keep on tolerating no matter how much and how long your mother interferes or controls. Never show any reaction against her and avoid any word or less which can hurt your mother's feelings and dignity as your mother.

Wassalam.