Conversion Story For Mai Dang

Published on 11 Oct 2020
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I was born in London in Hackney, and I'm still there now. I live with my parents and my youngest sister, and I've also got an older sister and an older brother as well. I am studying at the moment, I'm doing a Master's in neuro rehabilitation at Brunel, and I'm also working at a clinical trials company, so I'm working in the lab analyzing and processing bodily fluids. And in the future, hopefully, I'll be able to go on to do a PhD, because I want to go into research and pursue my interests in neuroscience hopefully.
 
A lot of people say science and religion don't go together, but I disagree with that, because I think one of the major things that pushed me towards finding religion was doing my Biomed degree, and we would have sessions in the dissection room where we look at the human body and when you look at that, and you look at how everything works in the body, how can you not see that on the spiritual side? how could that happen without thinking there's someone making that happen? how could that happen by chance? And that's kind of something that pushed me towards that religious direction, I guess. 
 
Like I said, my interest lies in neuroscience, and I think that is one of the most complex systems in the body, but I would say that, because that's my interest. But the fact is that so much is going on, especially when you look at it on a psychological or psychiatric side, and  everyone is so different, and science and medicine in itself can't explain everything yet. And that is one of the things that made me think that there is something else going on, something besides what you can see and feel and touch and all those senses. One thing that I will always remember from my degree with my three years is with one of my friends, and they were in the dissection room. And we have handouts that described to us what we're going to do that session, and the title of one of them was: "The Hand, a miraculous design". And then my mate goes to one of the other people in the group, so the hand is a miraculous design, so who's designer? And I think that kind of got everyone thinking as well, and that's something that I will always take with me as well. 
 
My family don't have a religion, we don't follow a faith or anything like that. We do have our traditions and our culture, but nothing so much religious or spiritual wise so I didn't really grow up having to follow rules or having to believe this, believe that. And it didn't really bother me until I got to school when everyone else had a religion and everyone else had we're doing this because of that. And then I just thought, why is that? So then I started talking to people inside to learn about it, and RE classes as well as school. So that kind of introduced me to different religions. And I think from then it was just curiosity more than anything, I'm always asking, Why is this? Why is that? So I've always wanted to know, why basically. And that's where I started reading up learning around different things. 
 
For example, my grandfather, he's passed away, so every month, when there's the new moon, or the full moon I can't remember exactly but, we'd put food out and these things like that which is supposed to be for him when he's in heaven, so he can receive the food, things like that. As a family we don't really believe that, that actually happens, but it's sort of a tradition that comes from Vietnam, so then that's why they kind of just do it just for the sake of doing it.
 
I'd ask my mom, so like, why do we have to do this? And she says Oh, so you know, so granddad can get food when he's in heaven. And I was like, oh, so do you believe in heaven? And she's like, not really. And I was like, so then why'd you do it and she's just like, because they're just so used to doing it. So I don't really get in terms of religion and things like that I don't really get much from my family. So they don't really understand. My family, we do Christmas, like we celebrate Christmas, but I think it's more because that's the only time where everyone in my family, all my cousins and my uncle's actually have a holiday so that that's the only time in the year where we can all get together, so we just use that as an excuse to get together and eat lots of food. 
 
When we were growing up, it just been an excuse to give us presents, but not really any belief behind it or anything. I've been back to Vietnam once and that was about seven, eight years ago. I really liked it there but it's very different to here. Over here, I don't really have that many Vietnamese friends, like I might have one or two. And it's just that growing up, I've kind of been put off that culture, in the sense that people who were Vietnamese, or even my family in themselves, it's just, I didn't like it, like I didn't like the things that they would do or that kind of stuff. So I've always been trying to keep myself away from other Vietnamese people, which I know sounds really stereotypical and really bad but that's just from my experiences. So I remember starting from school in RE, and then we'd have the two main religions that we would learn about was Christianity and Islam. And we used to have major debates, like the girls in my class would just be having debates about what's right, and what's wrong. To me I just thought they kind of sound the same, like a lot of religions, there's not going to be religion that's going to tell you to go around killing people.
 
So like, I didn't understand why they were arguing so much. And I think that's what kind of made me want to explore it in more detail. And, yeah, and I just felt like some of the stuff they were arguing about doesn't, it wasn't even right. Anyway, some of the opinions that they had about their own religion weren't even correct as well. And they just, again, that curiosity as in Why are people fighting over things they don't know about? Why are people arguing for no reason?, that kind of stuff that got me going even more, I guess. And when I went to uni, I got a bit put of religion because a lot of people were saying that they were so religious in front of everyone else, but then behind the scenes, it'd be completely different story. 
 
But then I just thought maybe religion, you shouldn't look at the people following it, you should look at the religion in itself and that's what I started doing. I started putting myself away from these people, and just started reading for myself. I didn't want to be influenced by everyone because I know that people say that a lot about religion, that a lot of it is brainwashing, a lot of it is people's opinions being pushed on to you. So for about two, three years, I just kept myself to myself and just read about it. Read lots of different religions, lots of different texts, got opinions from different people. And I don't know what happened, there wasn't a defining moment where I just went, Oh, you know, I'm gonna be Muslim. I just felt in myself that it was right for me. And I felt more happy when I was reading about Islam than any other religions, I just felt it made more sense. And I've always said to everybody even before I became religious, that it's always a personal thing. It's something that you should feel inside of yourself, and not what other people should say that you feel. And I just felt personally in myself that this is my way to connect to what I believe is a God out there so that's why I kind of went along with it. Obviously, my whole life, I didn't have a religious belief or anything like that so I was living what you would say, an atheist life. But it's just, it wasn't enough. Not having to worry about what happens after I die and not worrying about there's someone watching me or whatever, but it just, it just seems like the easy way out, like not having to worry about your consequences, not having to think about anything besides yourself and what you're doing. 
 
It just seems there's so much more than what you see now and there's so much more than to who you are. And living as an atheist just wasn't enough. I always felt that there was something that I didn't know what it was, but there was something that I was missing. And that's why I had to just go out and find it. It is a lot easier, especially when you start uni, for example, to not have these religious beliefs so you can just go out and do whatever you want to do and not think about what's going to happen afterwards. But I didn't like living like that and I didn't feel that it was for me.
 
My older sister, she blew up when I told her about this as well but like I said earlier, it's not about the people that follow it, it's about what they're following. I'm a kind of person who sees everything from lots of different sides so I can understand. If somebody really, really believes that that is right, then you know, they are going to act in extreme ways when they feel like other people are opposing them. And I'm not trying to justify what these people are doing. But that's not going to put me off because I feel like everyone interprets everything in their own ways and as long as I'm not going to go around doing these things, then I'm okay with that. Like I said, a lot of my friends are Muslim so I've always spoken to them about it a lot and I didn't actually tell anybody that I chose to be Muslim until a few months later, because I wanted to make sure within myself that this is what I wanted to do.
 
I think I knew just, it was the end of my second year at uni and I was just thinking if I feel like this is right for me, why? Why am I putting this off for? what am I waiting for really, it's only me that has this decision to choose this so I sat down and thought, you know what, I'm just gonna do this now because the way I was with my life to start with wasn't like now like going out and drinking and all that I'd stopped the ages and ages ago before anyway. It wasn't like I had to just make a massive life change. I was already leading up to it gradually by my own choice so I just sat down and thought I'm just going to do this now. Then one of my mates and I just sat down and I said I want to do this and he said Okay, fine. This is what you have to do that. And then from then on just slowly, slowly I've started telling my closest mates and they've just helped me out with the practicalities of things like how you would pray and how will you would wash and things like that, because obviously, I wasn't brought up Muslim so I didn't know any of these things. I have a lot of friends who have helped me to come where I am now and I'm very thankful for that. I just thought about it really, sometimes it's difficult, because obviously, the little things that people take for granted that they've been brought up with their whole lives, I have to sort of learn about it. 
 
I feel like I'm a baby starting all over again. I don't have a family that I can sit down and celebrate even so sometimes be like, oh, but I think overall, I much prefer being a revert then having brought been brought up into it because I feel like if I were brought up just from day one as Muslim, there's some things I wouldn't question. And I'll just go along with it and not ask why am I doing this, which I feel is the case for a lot of people out there. I feel like if I didn't get this chance to question everything that I'm doing, then I wouldn't appreciate what I'm doing as much as I am now. And I think that is if you ask a lot of reverts, I think that's the major thing that they will say to you. The fact is, they are doing it their own choice, they have learned about it, and they have decided that this is right for them. And it's not like their parents have decided that this is right for you because I know a lot of people who have been brought up and they haven't questioned the ways that they have been brought up and they're more likely to want to go against it. They don't fully understand why they're doing this, why they have to do this why they have to do that. And then they just, they're more likely to turn bad. I don't know, I don't know any other way to put it but so I'm thankful that I am a revert, really. 
 
The attitude when it's time to pray, just like, Oh, I have to go pray quickly get over and done with them. I've done it Yeah, I'm safe. I'm good to go – It's not like that, it's your chance in the day to take a break and just really think about why you're there and be thankful for where you are and to speak to God if you will. I'm glad that I know why I have to do it so that I can appreciate when I'm praying, and it just makes me makes me really, I don't know, emotional. Like when I do pray, because I know why I'm doing it as opposed to people that I see next to me, and they're just rushing through it. And then it's more like a burden to them probably because when they're growing up their parents beat them into doing or something I don't know and that's probably why they don't like doing it as much. But I think that is the biggest thing that I'm glad about. It's difficult, like I understand, like, especially nowadays, everyone's so busy, me myself sometimes I don't even have time to eat or do anything else but once I'm there, and it's just you close yourself off to everything. 
 
I know it sounds really cheesy and stuff, but it's actually really peaceful and it's just nice. I don't know, I don't really know how to explain it. But yeah, it's emotional. I understand why people would assume these things. Because obviously, if you don't know something about something you're going to start, you only pick up the bad things and you start making your own assumptions and all that. But like, I've felt like, especially because I've grown up in such an environment where there are lots of Muslims and lot of people do things. I'm not really had any sort of prejudice towards me being a Muslim woman as such. And I think just being a woman in itself does cause trouble anyway. 
 
I think that being a Muslim woman wouldn't really make a difference to any household that you would get. Since reverting, I haven't had any extra pass or any extra issues in terms of what people say or judge about me. So in terms of personal level, I don't really have any experiences there. But I don't know, I don't feel like women in Islam are oppressed as people say, because how, how are they oppressed? Because they have to cover up? How does that mean that they can't do what they want to do and do what they need to do in life. Just like and some people are like, Oh, you have to cover up so the men don't look at. And then they go well mentioned to be looking at you anyway. And I'm like, but they shouldn't because it says that the first thing it says is that men shouldn't be looking. So and then they'll be like, well, if men can't control where they put the eyes wider to cover up. No, no. And it's like, it's quite funny because the type of people that say there are those who want to go out dressed in certain ways to attract attention of men anyway. I just look at these, mostly like girls and stuff that they say to me and I'm just look at them. And like, you don't know what you're talking about. Which does not it's not meant as rude as it came out. But just like, they're like when say if they go out.
 
And they're wearing such and such. And I'm like you're wearing what you're wearing to attract the attention of men? And like, No, I just want to wear it because it makes me feel good. Like, why does it make you feel good. And then it does go back to the fact that it makes them feel good because they get their attention. And the whole idea of dressing modestly, is to not get that attention. Because it's quite funny because girls, when they get this attention, if the guy's a good looking guy, they like the attention. But if the guy is not such a good looking guy, then they'll be like, Oh, why are you looking at me for an hour, which is a bit weird, like, and they honestly, it makes you think you really actually don't know what you're talking about. And so that's why I think when these people have these ideas of women in Islam, I just think it really doesn't affect me because you really don't know what you're talking about. So it doesn't bother me, like, I don't get offended by anything, none of the people that I know, get offended by it. So let them think what they want to think I'm still going about my daily life, I'm still going to get my career, I'm still going to live my life. So if that bothers them, then it doesn't bother me really.
 
I went to an all-girls school to start with so I didn't have any influence of guys around me, wherever. So I was born in my own little bubble. My parents are fairly strict and being Asian I go to school, come home, do my homework, go sleep, go to school, the next day, that was my life. And then I went to sixth form and there were boys there all of a sudden, and me and my girl mates were all excited all the boys are here, whatever. And then from them, it kind of just kind of went got distracted, because I was like always wanting to hang out with my mates and stuff like that, because I had a bit more freedom than I did in school. So when I got to uni, it was even worse, because obviously I had moved out for uni and I didn't have my parents control.
 
For the first couple of months, I just went out all the time, like lots different mates, these kinds of things like hanging around bad influences. But at the time, you just think, Oh, it's a new experience. I'm in uni, now I have to do this, to do that. And I just, I didn't like it. Like I'd go along, if I was asked to come out, come out wherever. But I didn't enjoy it, like I didn't like the going to a club having like, so Ed people like, near in my personal space, I didn't like that at all. And it's very different for girls going out because like I said, girls will always get that attention, like guys can go out and have a good time with their mates, it's not a problem, because there will always be a guy trying to touch you. And I didn't like that at all, I really didn't. And then I just thought, this whole lifestyle in itself, it's not me like, I'm a very kind of at home campus, I like to, if I go out with my mates, I'll go to one of their houses and we'll chill out and get some food, you know, watch the TV, just something just at home where you could just relax. I don't like having to dress up and go out and end up somewhere you don't know where you are the next day with like a hangover, things like that at us. That's really not me. So I think that's why a lot of my friends were like, Oh, we always knew you'd come along this path because you're going there anyway. So I know I don't want to do that. So then what do I want to do? Like, and that's what so I thinking? What is the point of me being here? Like, why am I here? What am I going to do with my life? 
 
Like, okay, I'll graduate, I'll get a job. I'll get a family. But then why like, what's the point of me having to do that? Where am I going to go afterwards? like that kind of stuff. So I thinking a lot. And that's, again, that's when I got into the whole reading thing, I started asking my friends about what they believed. And just because if I asked, I asked a lot of different people, and they all gave me lots of different responses. And I think I stayed away from people who are more likely to push their opinions on me because I really don't like that at all. I want to be able to think for myself, I don't want to be forced to think a certain way. I have a really, really good like circle of mates who all they do is push me to think they don't push me to think the way they think they push me to just think about myself. And that's helped me a lot because it made me sort of really try to realize what I want from life and what I want for myself. It's easy to know what you don't want but it's hard to know what you do want, isn't it. So that took me a while to just kind of get the guts to kind of go, this is it. I think my family in terms of what they want, like what my parents want from us, it's not so much us having family, us being more career orientated. 
 
So they want us to do well at school and get a good job and blah, blah, blah. So, but in terms of thinking about stuff, philosophical stuff, and things like that, we've never really done anything. So I think me myself, I'm probably the only one in my family who's ever thought about anything as in what is out there. So I think I myself would be a typical, but not so much my family. Like they just kind of think, oh, make sure you sort yourself out for the future. So that make sure that you get a good income and that you can look after yourself and stuff like that. That's mainly their concern. I don't know, I've always just wanted to be, I've always found I was different. So I guess that's why I'm where I am. Now, I understand the reasoning for having to need to get good grades, because especially in this society, you can't just go on, you know, with nothing you have the system works that you have to do this exam, you have to die exam to get that position. So, and I like studying, which is why I'm still studying and I do want to go into further research, I still want to continue studying. So that's not been a problem for me, is just that I've always found time outside of my studying to look at other things. Whereas I know my sisters, they wouldn't. So their sole focus is on their careers is on their studies where mines kind of half and half really, I never saw it as Oh, I'm not doing well at uni, so I have to look somewhere else. I always kind of felt that it came hand in hand. 
 
And I felt since I have something else to hold on to, for example, religion wise, it makes me want to work harder, because it makes me want to, can make me more thankful for I am. And then if I'm more thankful for where I am now I'm less likely less likely to throw it away by messing around or not doing my assignments are not studying or wherever. So I think. And they both come hand in hand and they make me stronger in whatever it is that I want to do. It was difficult at first because I didn't tell a lot of people because I didn't. I wanted to make sure that I knew what I was doing. And I didn't want people to start pushing too many facts that me because then it'd be just overload. So then I just went into it slowly. And I remember two years ago just before Ramadan, so then I thought let me try fasting see how this is. So I tried that. And then that was that was right. I didn't find it hard as because I know a lot of people always complain to me. Oh, I'm fasting. Oh, it's so hard. I can't do this. I can't do that. But it wasn't it's not really that hard. And I don't know if because I'm I guess I'm really small anyway, so I don't need to eat all the time. But it wasn't that hard for me. And I felt I enjoyed it. Because when it came to time, to break the fast wherever I was much more happy to eat the food that I have that I had. So I think that's probably the is one of the main reasons why if Austin first by so you can appreciate what you have. So and I thought, this is nice, I and I felt I was doing something right in my life. Because before it was kind of just a big blur.
 
 I didn't know what I was doing, or why I was doing it. So then when I had off that first Ramadan I just felt, you know, this seems right for me. I'm Let's continue. Let's see how it goes. And then it was about November December ish. It was around he got cut. That was good. Yeah. And then I came because my friend had mentioned this mosque me in made of El Kilburn, and then saw Oh, let me check it out, see what it's like. And then they had a talk that and it was the first ever talk I've ever been to. And I was really nervous because I didn't really didn't really know what I was supposed to do. But I really enjoyed it. And I think that was the most defining moment for me in terms of knowing that I am there. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Because it just, it all made sense. I didn't understand a lot of what he was saying. But the stuff that I did understand it made me really click inside me. And I just thought, this is it. This is how I know. And from then on, I started talking to people from that mosque, and I started going back then I started Arabic classes there. And I don't know, it's just every time I went back, I just felt stronger and stronger as in this is what I'm doing. I know I'm doing this right. And then a few months afterwards, I started telling people, more people outside my intimate friends circle.
 
And then, as I expected, they started trying to push the ideas on me. But by that time, I kind of knew where I was already, I knew what I believed in, I knew what I felt was right for me. So everything that they were saying, in my head, I can always like if they said something that I felt wasn't exactly right. In my head, I always had sort of a counter argument for it. And then having something to go against what they're saying kind of made me feel actually know what I'm talking about. And I've done my research, I know what I'm supposed to leave and things like that. And it made every time that happened. It just made me feel a lot stronger in myself. And I know that I was not brainwashed because hardly anyone knew about it, I didn't have anyone to brainwash me. And I just knew that I was going along the right way. Because I could come up with the right arguments for when people say nonsense to me. And from then on until this day, it's just these little things that make me feel I know what I'm doing. In terms of my family. That's it's quite, it's complicated. So I just I'd rather I don't want to talk to them about it, because it's complicated. But, I know, you mean because when I sort of, because it's my story, very interesting story is in reverting. And so when I meet new people, and they asked me, Oh, you know what religion you are, and I'm, Oh, I'm listening, blah, blah, blah, they get really interested. So then they tend to ask me about my story. So then I'll be, so and so this happened, this happened. And then while I don't feel like I'm preaching, because I'm just telling them how my personal opinion, they always I feel a sense of, I don't know, relief or something I don't know, I just feel really nice to know that I'm sort of dismissing any negative views that they might have had in the past about Islam. And then, because, for example, if I meet people, they still have met, if I've known people for a few months, wherever they know how I am. 
 
And then they'll be like, okay, so you know, you're Muslim, you're not, you know, a terrible person, you're not going to go around this family. And I'm like, No, because whatever. It says this, it says that you're supposed to be like this, you're supposed to be like that. And then it the fact that sort of told them something that they didn't know to start with it, that does make me feel like I'm doing my bit as it were. So yeah, I do feel sometimes, Oh, I should tell people, but I don't feel like I'm qualified enough to start going around and saying to people, you should do this. And you should do that. Definitely not a but if people do ask me, I was held in my opinion, and most of the time, it has left a positive impact. So that makes me happy so far, was the crown in itself, it's something that is like, really makes me really emotional. Like, obviously, I can't read the Arabic, so I can't appreciate it in its fullness, like even the English translation, even though I know it wouldn't be perfect. But even just from someone outside reading on that, you think, wow, I cannot love it. And it all just does make sense. And I think that's what I like most about is on the fact that it makes sense. It's very logical and very rational. And I'm very rational person, there has to be a legitimate, legitimate reason for everything thing. And I feel that with Islam, that is the case. And if there is not a legitimate reason for doing something, then that's you probably shouldn't be doing that in the first place. So I think the Quran definitely is something that really makes me believe that I'm going the right way. Because there's no way some guy 2000 years ago could have just sat down, wrote back without any sort of inspiration as it were, or just from the top of his head. So yeah, I believe that's a major thing. In terms of personalities in the history of Islam, definitely profit. I've read a few books detailing his life and things that he went through and stuff like that. And it is, it's really, it kind of gets you because if some if you in this day and age if that stuff would happen to you? And I think how would I react?
 
How would I be able to cope with this? How would I be able to handle this and to read the that he has done it? is just, wow, how can somebody be that strong in their heart, just deal with all of this, all the nonsense that people are giving him. And it's just the strong characters like this makes me think that if they really, truly believed so much in their religion, and it's made them such good people that they are, then they can't be following something wrong. You know, it can't be a bad thing, what they're following. So, yeah I always hear lots of different stories about different events and different people. And I don't when I history stuff, I don't usually cry, because I always able to detach myself from these things. But for example, when I went to mosque one day, during my harem, and they were giving the lectures about what happened. Back then, I actually cried. And I was really, I was kind of really embarrassed with myself because I don't cry in public. But then I started crying. And then I was like, Oh, my God, well, my crying, but then everyone else is crying so far, you know, it's, you know, it's a lot of cry. So things like that really hit me, and it just made me think, Wow, just the fact that it can just get me so much people that technically, I don't even know these people, like thousands, thousands of years back, I don't have any sort of physical, you know, connection with them. They're not like, my immediate family now. So why do I feel so strongly about what's happened. And I think that in itself is just the fact that you can have that connection with people you don't technically know. I think that's just amazing. It's something you can't really explain. 
 
It just kind of gets you in your heart. And, and I think anybody whether they're religious or not, if they just hear those stories, they would obviously, feel something. And I have a very skeptical side to me. So when I started hearing the stories I was thinking, but how did you know that? That is what actually happens, you know, like Chinese whispers, things get distorted, especially, you know, back in days, they don't have Internet where they can just tell people what has happened and everyone else, you know. So I was very skeptical at first that did this actually happen. But obviously, after reading ground and things like that, even if some people when they tell the story, they might over exaggerate a little bit. The fact is, it happens still, regardless of if they've over exaggerated it or not, they're still, it's still an event that has happened. And there's nobody in this world who denies that that happens, it just they might just not think about it, or just try to ignore it. But I think when wars happened, in today's society, even that people still feel that emotional connection, even though it has nothing to do with them. And I think that's just the humanity side in everyone. Nobody should go through anything like that. And as human beings like, even from birth, babies know what is morally right and was morally wrong, there been studies that have shown this. And I think we all know that that shouldn't have happened. And I think that's why the Why is able to get to people, that's why people able to connect with them, because they just know that when they see something when they hear about something that's wrong, you just know, it's true in you can, for example, hallucinations, you can have, like complications that could cause you to have hallucinations. But even say, if you get two people and one person says that they feel this, or they see this, another person doesn't say perfectly healthy or normal or whatever. 
 
And and you say also person a must have this wrong with their brains. But if you to induce that, what you would call wrong in that person be, they will not necessarily see what Person A sees. So it is not something as simple as you have a clot in this area, therefore, you're going to be seen hallucinations, therefore, you're going to have this spiritual belief in you. So and I think that's what fascinates me about neuroscience as well, because it is different for everyone. There is not one answer that explains something in everyone. And then I think because they there's not one answer, there must be something else that scientists have not looked at you, I know that a lot of people are like, Oh, it's because we don't know it yet. But in 100 years time, we'll figure it out. Okay, so you figured that out in 100 years time? What about people who are religious now who have already figured out? Why can't you look at them? Why can't you ask them, what they think about it. And I think it's just the case of people just being really stubborn. And I really think it is you just you only see what you want to believe. And if people don't want to believe that people that have spiritual experiences, then they will always find a way to sort of counterbalance that, by think me myself, I know there are certain medications or certain conditions where you would maybe see things that you normally wouldn't see and things like that. But my friend told me about patient the other day who is a bit psychotic. And then he said, how do you know this? This person says she sees angels? How do you know that that she doesn't actually see angels? And how do you know that it's, you know, the doctors called a psychotic they put onto these drugs
 
? How do you know she actually actually hasn't seen angels. And then I was like, if she has seen angels then understand why people would call a psychotic, but she's clearly showing experiencing other symptoms, thats related to psychosis. That is not just what someone would experience if they, for example, have seen angels. So obviously, it's not just as simple as you see angels, you must be crazy, or something like that, you know, so I was thinking, if she wasn't experiencing these other symptoms, that maybe she wouldn't be psychotic, maybe doctors would think, wait, hold up what's going on here. But you know, so that's why I just feel you can't just say this, you can't just say that there's a scientific explanation to everything. Because there are so many things we don't know, I do believe people are scared, I was scared or just really, really stubborn. And I think people are scared of the unknown. So it's like, and for example, if someone was scared of the dog, if not, the actual dog that they're scared of, is the fact that they don't know what's out there. So what people are scared of is something that they don't know.
 
And when it comes to scientific experiments, or facts as you will, and people feel safe with that, because it's, oh, this scientist story in his lab, so therefore, it's true, I'm going to believe in that, where it's something like something that somebody can't see, and they're just bit like, Oh, I'm really scared. So they're just gonna be like, it can't be true, it can't be true. And also with religion, there's this whole idea of consequences. People don't like consequences. People don't like to think, Oh, I'm going to do this one day, and then 20 years down the line, it's going to come back and bite me on the ass. They don't want to think that they can't live their lives in the way that they think they're enjoying it. So I think that's a big thing as into why people don't want to go down the route of religion. And also I was saying earlier, the people, some of the followers of religion don't really do it any favors. And so because if somebody were to think about religion, they're not going to just first open the book, they're going to look at the people that are following it. And that's where they get their first impression from. And that doesn't help a lot, I think, in my opinion. So I think people hold on to science, because even though they would say, Oh, it's not religion, wherever I think people do follow it religiously. And, but I think science, science is not fact. 
 
Because what we're finding out now, even 10 years ago, we were thinking something completely different. So science is a theory for what is the most acceptable explanation for what's going on now. And that always changes. And if you read any article, the conclusion will always be forever research needed, because no one has the answers. And so I think people don't like the idea of that the answer could be religion, because they are so scared of religion, so get open themselves up to that option. So I think, I don't know, they would rather think nothing exists. And that rather than just, I don't know, look at someone else's opinions. And I think, I don't know, it makes me kind of sad, really that people are so closed minded, sometimes. I love science, I'm a scientist. But there's just so much more out there. And it's just, I don't know, it's kind of sad that people don't see that. I don't have such targets, Oh, I want to do this, I want to that I just, the only thing I want to do is just learn more. I feel like you can never know enough. And especially when it comes to things like religion. And that's all I wanted. I just want to continue reading and learning and just, I really like listening to other people's views and opinions, because I feel that it helps me to make my own. And that's all I wanted to really want to do in terms of religion. Just keep reading. And yes, keep talking to people, meeting different people, that kind of stuff. Yeah, travel around like Middle East and stuff like that. But I know my parents will never let me. So that's kind of out of the question at the moment for at least the next 10 years or so. I would one day hopefully like to be able to go on hard and things like that.
 
But I don't know if that will ever happen. They have a lot of people that I owe to where I am now and they know who they are. But I would like to thank them because they have helped me so much. And even though I've always said I'm doing this by myself, I've always been really stubborn in terms of that and but I really appreciate that they've given me that space of learning myself. And if I have questions, they'll answer my questions and they've not tried to push any sort of ideals onto me and I do appreciate that and I just hope that I will just continue to find where I am and where I want to be and be happy.

This video was first published on 23 Jul 2012 by ABTV Reborn as Reborn - Mai Dang. We are grateful for their cooperation.

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