Marriage

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognised union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between those spouses, as well as between them and any resulting biological or adopted children and affinity (in-laws and other family through marriage). The definition of marriage varies around the world not only between cultures and between religions, but also throughout the history of any given culture and religion, evolving to both expand and constrict in who and what is encompassed, but typically it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged or sanctioned. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answer updated 10 meses ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Firstly, we should refrain from using the word dowry, because in English it is a payment given by the bride to her husband. 

Whereas, in Islam, it is from the groom to the bride, and not a payment, but a token and sign of loyalty and truthfulness, which is why in the Quran and Sunnah it is called "Sidāq". 

We also call it Mahr, and in English, we can call it bridal-gift or nuptial-gift. 

Once the marriage contract (nikah / 'aqd shar'i) is done, it becomes the husband's duty to fulfill the contract and what he comitted to. This obligation depends on the agreement the bride and groom had. Was there a clause in the contract, like dividing the mahr into "muqaddam" or immediate, and "mu`akhar", which is the deferred amount. 

Is the husband capable of giving it immediately. Has the wife demanded it? Can the husband give it in installments. These are different scenarios that could occur, so it would depend on the circumstance. 

Some cultures also have it to be given on the day of the nikah as well. 

So, from a shar'i perspective, it becomes wajib upon the husband to give the mahr that he agreed on, whenever it is demanded by the wife, whenever he is able to, and according to whatever agreement they had. 

And Allah knows best

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 10 meses ago

If her Fiqh really permits her to marry without her father's permission, then you will be allowed to deal with her in marriage contract according to her own Fiqh.

'Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 10 meses ago

You can request your family or any respected person to talk to her or to her family. There is nothing wrong to contact or write to her directly as far as your keep her respect within the frame of Shariat.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 10 meses ago

The Hadeeth from the Prophet (SAWA) states: The believing man is computable to the believing woman المؤمن كفؤ المؤمنة.

The Prophet himself (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS) did marry from different cultures as the criteria is never the culture but the faith and religious piousness.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 10 meses ago

Yes if course. Every marriage agreements must have a dowry. The temporary marriage has its dowry and the permanent marriage has its dowry as well.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 11 meses ago

Matured man is allowed to marry the female whom he chooses if she is suitable as far as her religion and morals. Man does need permission of his parents in marriage unlike virgin girl who definitely needs permission from her father or paternal grand father.

keeping the respect of the parents is essential.

Wassalam.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 11 meses ago

I am sorry to hear about your situation.

I wanted to add that it would not be a good thing if, after the marriage, the man holds onto this idea and becomes obsessed with it or brings it up in every argument or uses it as an excuse for other behaviour. You have already suffered and don't need someone to make you continue to suffer for the rest of your life. Plus, you deserve someone who will appreciate you for all you are, not someone who is having hesitations! Perhaps he will mature later in life, since, when we judge people unfairly, life has a way of teaching us lessons.

Meanwhile, there are other fish in the sea!

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 11 meses ago

Bismihi ta'ala

It is sad to hear what happened to you, and through your Iman and reliance on Allah ta'ala, you will become stronger and stronger, not allowing the evil incident to define who you are. 

If this man cannot accept you for that, and you are upfront and genuine about everything, even if there might be lapses of emotional distraught or something that affects you due to the trauma, but yet he is still hesitant, then he is no good for you at all. 

You should not see yourself of less value, nor should you accept someone who sees you as "broken", or anything negative of that sort. 

Limit your interaction with this person, and focus more on yourself, and your relationship with Almighty God, who will facilitate the best of things for you and your future, in shaa Allah.

With prayers for your success.

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I am sorry to hear about your loss.

It is your decision whether or not to remarry. Now that your husband has passed on, I am sure he would want you to be happy and more secure for the rest of your life.

However, possibly you are still going through the mourning process and aren't ready; maybe if you meet the right person and it is the right time, you will feel inside that it is the right time. Maybe the way you are seeing things right now suggests that it isn't quite the right time.

Religiously speaking, there is no benefit to putting extra restrictions on ourselves or making ourselves suffer more than our circumstances require. Sometimes people do this with a sense that Allah rewards difficulty. However, life is difficult enough without putting extra restrictions on ourselves!

People in jannah can be with whoever they want, whether or not they remarry.

With duas
 

Bismihi ta'ala

As sad as it may be to lose a spouse, remarrying is completely your choice, and it will not undermine your loyalty to your marhum husband. Loneliness is never good, so if the opportunity arises that you can marry a noble, caring, pious and religious man, you should do so. This will certainly not affect who you will be in the afterlife, in Heaven, in shaa Allah. 

Life is challenging, and having a partner of good choice will assist you in everything coming ahead of you, in shaa Allah.

And Allah knows best

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Bismhi ta'ala

This is going to be a choice the husband makes. Of course, you must understand how difficult it would be for him to trust you again, or to forget the incident, and it might continue to be brought up, especially if you have an argument. 

He might even accuse the children of not being his, and so on. 

Therefore, if he forgives you, which is possible from a shar'i perspective, you must both navigate correct solutions to deal with the infidelity and how to avoid it in future, from both sides.

And Allah knows best

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 12 meses ago

Bismihi ta'ala

I have a presentation from two Ramadhans ago on this that might be useful for you in answering your question. 

Starts from 1h:38min

https://www.youtube.com/live/f6LNDmA6vBk?feature=share