Parents

A parent is a caregiver of the offspring in their own species. In humans, a parent is the caretaker of a child (where "child" refers to offspring, not necessarily age). A biological parent is a person whose gamete resulted in a child, a male through the sperm, and a female through the ovum.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 años ago

Baligh person is no more a child in Islam. Once the child reaches the Bolough, he/she is no more a child even if the society calls them children. Baligh person has the responsibility to perform every obligatory act or worship according to his abilities. Baligh young person is responsible to do Amr bil Ma'roof and Naahi 'Anil Munkar according to his knowledge and abilities and the possibility of effect.

Dealing with parents must be with full respect even if they do what you think it wrong. You must avoid any word or behaviour which can cause hurting their feelings. Hurting the feelings of your parents or any of them is a major sin.

Wasalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 años ago

You can get from the blessings of Laylatul Qadr right from Maghrib by seeking from Allah and reciting Sura al-Qadr and repeating Estighfaar and Salawaat. You should always respect your parents and never annoy them.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 años ago

Allah is happy with humble servants who worship Him with dedication and always remember Him especially before any act or any word , and who serve others for the sake of Allah (SWT). Allah is happy with the humble servants who serve and treat their parents nicely. No one can be accepted by Allah if he is bad to his parents. Obey your parents in every matter which goes along with religion and does not contradict any order of Allah (SWT). Treat them nicely and very politely under any circumstance.

More you make your parents happy, the more Allah will be pleased with you.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 años ago

Your parents aim is to look after you and save you from any thing which can harm you now or in the future. You should always listen and respect them unless when they order you to do Haraam or to leave an obligatory.

You don't need permission to spread the message of Islam, but you should always respect your parents.

Wassalam.

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Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 3 años ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. Enjoining the good and forbidden the evil is dependent on the effectiveness of your actions or words, not on whether the person will feel bad for a time, even if that be your own parents. Rather, what is important is to maintain respect and gentleness if you think your message will reach open ears. 
 

As for playing haram music at your wedding you can state quite clearly that you would be opposed to that.

May you always be successful 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 años ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If a married couple, in their early stages of their marriage do not define how they are going to live their lives, especially with their interaction with each other's families, then there will be many ongoing problems. 

Defining your relationship with your family, and your in-laws, is very easy, even if they might be difficult to deal with. 

Your primary position is your obedience and loyalty to your parents. This is the Islamic principle, and that's how you live as a Muslim. Even if it means you are uncomfortable, or it isnt really what you want, but if it makes your parents happy, then that's what you should do. 

As for your parent-in-laws, they are now like your parents, so you treat them as you would treat your own parents. 

This is applicable to the husband and to the wife, equally. 

Let's be less sensative, and more accomodating to them as elders, from a different generation, from a different mindset. And all for the greater good, of keeping peace and harmony. 

Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (a.s.) says: Do good and obey your parents so that your children will do good and obey you.

I've also come across a tradition about how cursed a spouse may be if they were to force their spouse to choose between them and their parents. 

Of course parents are more important. Not just more important that our spouse, but more important than ourselves. 

What if the husband/wife has no consideration, and cannot combine between their family and their parents. This is why it is so important for us to learn Akhlaq. 

You should never allow yourself to be in the situation where you have to choose between your spouse or your parents. You should also never put someone else in such a situation. 

Balance happens when you respect boundaries, and as I said, you have defined your relationship. You pay utmost attention to your husband/wife, and at the same time to accommodate to the needs of your parents and family members. You also never discriminate, and treat your in-laws the same. 

You have your own life now, and you are trying to build that, but you wont be able to create a loving caring atmosphere at home if you break bridges with others. That's why we shouldnt think that way, who is more important you or your parent, or who do you love more, your son or your daughter and so on.

We accomodate to each person around us in the befitting way, based on shar' and akhlaq.

With prayers for your success.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 años ago

Bismihi ta'ala

A marriage should not be based on the answer of an Istikharah. You must decide on marrying the person based on a combination of things, from being religious, pious, high moral standards, good family, compatibility, shared ambitions, and so on. 

What you should do in the situation you are in is find commonalities and work on the areas in which both of you connect. If he is a good person, and he has positive qualities, for sure things will work out for both of you. It is unrealistic for anyone to assume that we will share all similarities with our spouse, as there are always going to be things we differ on. 

People change as well. You might not feel the connection because you were expecting something else, or had some image of an ideal spouse, or maybe you felt something else, but as you are married now, you are able to find ways in strengthening your bond with your husband. 

With prayers for your success.

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Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 3 años ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. There is no problem in praying once you are certain of the time even if others have not begun the recommended actions before prayer like azan.

May you always be successful 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answer updated 3 años ago

Yes it is permissible for husband's father to marry the mother-in-law of his son if she is widowed or divorced. Wife is Mahram for her father-in-law only not for his sons and husband is Mahram for his mother-in-law only not for her other daughters. This rule of being Mahram does not include the parents of the husband and wife. 
'Your mother-in-law must observe Hijab from your father but not from you. Obviously, when they are non-Mahram to each other, marriage between them is permissible.

Wassalam.

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 3 años ago

It's fine as long as there is no secondary reason why they can't marry (for instance, they have a blood relationship that prevents it, etc.).

Anyway I think it is rather sweet. I hope they are all happy!

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Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 3 años ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. To love Allah is to prefer Him to all else in your life and to be attached to him more than your attachment to other things. Love is a connection that matters to you and as such the love of God can be compared to other types of love. Indeed, Allah compares His love to other types of love in the Qur'an (see 9:24 for example). We are naturally in love with God, but that is sometimes confused by our attachments to other types of love. To develop the love of God, some sacrifice is required. The ordinances of our religion help develop that love and among those ordinances is reflecting on the bounties that Allah has bestowed on us, both continually and at various points in our life. It is natural to love those who are good to us, then what about He who is the source of every good in our lives?

May you always be successful

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 años ago

Bismihi ta'ala

This is a difficult question, and maybe even sensitive for some, because we know that Islam unequivocally condemns abuse or physical violence towards other innocent people. 

We must always remember that many parents have not been given the correct method of upbringing, and many parents do not have the adequate skills to deal with parenting and the many pressures that it entails. 

As Muslims, we are taught to always show the utmost level of respect to our parents and our elders. How they reciprocate that and what they do or have done is something else. 

Allah ta'ala will judge them for what they have done. 

We must stay loyal to our parents, pray for them, visit them, be compassionate to them, and never sever ties with them. We must also ask Allah ta'ala to grant us the patience we need to make sure our love for them stays in our heart, even thought they might have hurt us. 

As long as you yourself know that you are not being insolent, or disobeying your parents, or not cutting ties. In regards to your inner feelings, there is nothing much that are able to do, because of the ongoing abuse, but it still does not allow you to disrespect your parents. 

Honour your parents, avoid things that would agravate them, or upset them, in what you do or say, try to get them to understand your position, and how its affecting you, maybe by getting intervention from elders, and most importantly always do dua for them.

With prayers for your success.