Husband

A husband is a male in a marital relationship. The rights and obligations of a husband regarding his spouse and others, and his status in the community and in law, vary between cultures and have varied over time.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 años ago

Bismihi ta'ala

In my opinion, yes, I do think it would be a valid reason to reject a marriage proposal. Ultimately, what we aspire to achieve in marriage is living together and forming a family. 

Circumstances could arise during a marriage where a spouse must be away for a period of time, in which case consent from both sides is necessary. But if stay away from each other for long periods of time can be avoided, then that would be the best and healthiest thing to do. 

If it is unavoidable, and will be for years, and they cannot travel together, nor see each other, then a decision must be made that would be equally fair for both. Getting married and then immediately leaving your wife/husband for a few years is not an ideal situation to be in, and if it can be avoided, then that is best for both. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 años ago

Both husband and wife are allowed to enjoy themselves between themselves in any way they like. They can use their hands or any other part of their body to make the other enjoy and even ejaculate, although masturbation is a sinful act if it was committed by a person by himself to himself or by herself to herself.
Every enjoyment is allowed between husband and wife except sexual intercourse when she is in her menstrual bleeding or post natal bleeding. Other enjoyments apart from intercourse e.g. kissing,hugging etc, are allowed between husband and wife always as far as there is no health condition against it. Husband is not allowed to force his wife when her health does not allow her.

Wassalam.

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 2 años ago

Yes

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 años ago

It is good for your husband to help you as it is good for you to help him, but if you ask about the obligatory duty of your husband then the answer is: Husband is responsible to spend on all livelihood expenses of his wife including accommodation, food, clothing, medicine etc. He is not responsible to pay for your loans which you have taken for yourself and not for both of you or for your livelihood expenses.

Your student loan was taken by you and the money was received and spent by you and not spent by both of you. Had your husband spent any amount of that loan, either for his own expenses or on your livelihood expenses which is his responssibilty , he will be then responsible to repay that amount.

Wassalam.

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It can be very difficult to judge whether something happens due to divine punishment, versus due to natural cause and effect. It is often better to look at the situation in front of you and see what you can do about it.

There are often surprises after marriage, and being picky does not guarantee that one will be happy. People (especially younger people) also often don't know what they want until they find out, through experience, what they don't want. 

Anyway, I agree that it would be good to identify why you are not happy, and see if there is anything you can do about it. 

All you can do is your best, keeping in mind that a marriage has two sides, and if the other person is unable or unwilling to try to improve things, you can't fix it alone.  

With du'as!

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 años ago

Bismihi ta'ala

What you did previously in rejecting marriage proposals of suitors, even though they met all the requirements that a woman should need for marriage was wrong.

Making wrong decisions also tends to affect all of us when we grow up and become more mature. We regret our immaturity and realise how negatively influenced we were by our false ideas or unrealistic expectations. Islam points this out in many hadiths, stressing on what the criteria needs to be for spouse selection, and if one neglects these recommendations, they will face many problems. 

It's very sad how we have distanced ourselves away from the teachings of Islam. 

Allah ta'ala also reminds us every once in a while how we need to mould our lives around our religion, and not turn our backs against Him. If we turn away we become miserable. We start to become negative, and even though we are surrounded with blessings, we do not see any of them. 

That being said, you should not blame your current situation on the past. You have free-will, and you choose your direction in life. You create your own mental state, and with your reliance on God and adherence to religion, you are able to have the best level of mental tranquility.

Do not think about punishment, or this unhappiness you are experiencing being because your past decisions creeping up on you, or karma, etc... This kind of thinking is not going to remove your unhappiness. 

Try to focus on why you are not happy with your husband. Is it solvable. Are there things that you or him or both of you can do to keep the marriage. What are you able to do to make your relationship survive?

Maybe both of you should visit a marriage counsellor who can teach both of you skills to improve your marriage. Maybe you should see a therapist who can give you tips on how to become happy in your life and in marriage. 

In any case, although you might have made wrong decisions in the past, it should not define who you are now, and you should not think of what you go through only as punishment from Allah ta'ala. Take control of your life and do the right thing.

Turn your previous mistakes into something positive and beneficial for others. Try to guide those around you and share your experience by informing others about marriage and spouse selection. All this will not just be forms of mental atonement, but also give you comfort that you are contributing to something good that other people can benefit from. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 años ago

Bismihi ta'ala

This question has already been answered. See:

https://www.al-islam.org/ask/if-i-was-granted-a-khulah-and-my-husband-wa...

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Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 2 años ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

If you mean by 'stay' to live with your husband's family then no, this isn't required. In fact it is obligatory upon the husband to provide a suitable accommodation for his wife in order for her to feel safe and comfortable. 

Living with in-laws can be an option for the newly  married couple who have just gotten on their feet, however it has been shown many times that  that long term living with in-laws can cause many problems as well as a lack of privacy for the couple. Therefore it is recommended that the couple try to eventually find their own place. 

May Allah grant you success  

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 años ago

1. Always try to cool him down and never cause him to be angry.

2. Talk to him frankly about the his thoughts on the effect of swear words on your kids. 
3. He might need an advice from experts in anger control.

4. His near friends and relatives might be able to advise him on the damaging effect of swear words in the children.

5. Remind him if you feel that he might listen about what the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS) said about anger and swear words and the fact that every word from us is recorded on us.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 años ago

Human dignity of woman does not allow her to be with more than man at the same time. It is not only in Islam, but in all main religions that woman is allowed to marry one man at the same time. More than one man at the same time means destroying the dignity of the woman and shaking her self respect. Obviously, if a woman is allowed to marry more than one man at the same time, the society will lose trust in the belonging of the children to their father as no one will know who is the real father of the child. That itself is a big damage to the human sonciety.

Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 años ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Sex is not everything in a marriage, but it is indeed a primary and very important part of it. Sexual incompetence is grounds for divorce. 

We have numerous narrations and rulings on this topic as well. A man asked Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) about a woman whose husband was incapable of intimacy, and whether she should leave him. The Imam (a.s.) answered, Yes, if she wants to leave him. [al-Tahdhib, vol. 7, p. 431]. 

That being said, in regards to this specific question that has been asked, if there was such a huge age difference between them, why did she get married to him in the first place? Did she or her family not think of these things when they first got married? Can the problem be solved through medication? 

In any case, the wife does have the right to request a divorce if she chooses to do so. 

And Allah knows best. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 años ago

If she left staying with her husband for an agreed terms between them, or if he travels for work or any other valid reason, she must get from him all her livelihood expenses according to the place where she is living in at present.

If she leaves her husband against his wish and for no valid Islamic reason, she will lose her right on him until she agrees with him on their mutual rights according to Islam.

Wassalam.