Wife

A wife is a female partner in a continuing marital relationship.
The term continues to be applied to a woman who has separated from her partner, and ceases to be applied to such a woman only when her marriage has come to an end, following a legally recognized divorce or the death of her spouse. On the death of her partner, a wife is referred to as a widow, but not after she is divorced from her partner.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 año ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If a man was to conduct a secret marriage with another Muslim woman without telling his wife, that nikah he did is considered valid, although it is not advisable in any way, for the many ramifications it will have. 

A spousal relationship is based on trust, transparency, commitment and loyalty. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 año ago

We are not dealing here with legal matters nor giving any legal advice. We are dealing with Islamic matters and reflecting the rulings of the leading scholars ( Maraaji' of Taqleed). Muslim should not break the law of the country where he lives unless it contradicts with his faith and religion.
Main matter in second marriage is fulfilling the Islamic conditions of practical justice between wives. If this condition is not fulfilled, second marriage will be not permissible in Islam.

If your question is a legal question, you should ask your legal adviser.

Wassalam.

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I am sorry to hear that you are not entirely happy in your marriage.

May I suggest, this is the sort of thing that one should consider before marriage. While there are sometimes some surprises that cannot be known before marriage, weight is an obvious physical feature that is easier to determine. While cultures have various customs regarding marriage, Islamically, it is good to look at one's prospective spouse before marriage to be sure one is happy with him/her.

Anyway, as a wise person once said, "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards." There will almost always be things that one does not like about one's spouse, some of them are obvious physical features and others are more subtle. It is good to appreciate the good and accept the rest. 

It is good to also look at it from the other side - it is an unpleasant surprise, after marriage, to learn that your spouse doesn't like one of your physical features - it can make you feel hurt or insecure. I am sure you would not like it if, after marriage, you realized that your wife did not like your height or some other physical feature. So it is good to be sensitive to that and to try to avoid making it something that causes difficulty in the relationship. 

Also, keep in mind that weight changes throughout life. Women often gain weight during pregnancy or at middle age anyway; just because someone is thinner at the time of marriage doesn't mean that is a permanent situation. (The same for men, of course!)

This is the same for any other feature. Many features or faculties change throughout life. For instance, someone with luxurious hair might go bald or get alopecia, someone with good eyesight may lose it, etc. So it is good to appreciate the blessings of health or beauty that we have, while we have them. The human being does not always stay the same physically. 

In cultures where thinness is valued for women, women who are overweight are often shamed and receive the message that their only value as a human being comes from being thin. Society usually treats it as a moral problem rather than as a medical problem (even though no one would shame an overweight horse or cat, rather they would ask what is wrong with them medically).

So, if you wish to discuss the subject of weight with your wife, may I suggest being extremely objective and polite about it; let her know that you love her and that your love of her (or indeed the survival of the marriage) does not depend on her weight, but it is simply an aesthetic preference. 

If you have access to good medical care, and if she is genuinely overweight (as opposed to just not being as thin as you would like), you could encourage her to visit a doctor to make sure there is no medical problem which is treatable (such as hypothyroidism or a hormonal imbalance) which is making her gain extra weight. (If she hasn't done so already). Of course, this should be done with tact! Most people would not appreciate this "suggestion" if it is done in a condescending or critical manner; rather, it should be given with concern and love. 

Also, you can always do du'a for yourself to be happy with your wife. Contentment is the best riches!

Inshallah you will both get through this and have many happy years to come!

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 año ago

Physical shape or appearance of the spouse might have a little effect in making the marriage more happy at the beginning but it will never last for long, nor can alone create happy life. You wrote : I am content with all besides her weight. This means that she has got many good characteristics besides her weight. I advise you to focus on her good points and ignore her weight. Her good points, noble attitude, good heart, humbleness, sincerity etc, will make your married life happy and not her weight. Men who focus on physical appearance and ignore the heart and noble human essence never get the happiness and satisfaction. Be content with whatever Allah Has granted you and thank Allah (SWT) Who granted you a noble and clean hearted wife who should be a good mother for your children and don't focus in her weight at all. When you thank Allah for the good that she already has, Allah will grant you more happiness from unexpected bounties which you don't know now.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 año ago

You should nicely explain to her the facts which you reached to. Try to give her the evidence which she can understand and accept. Many Sikh persons embraced Islam and became good Muslims following Ahlul Bayt (AS). You can use their evidence and writings to convince your wife.

If she insists on refusing Islam, then you as a Muslim will not be allowed to continue with a non Muslim wife.

Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answer updated 2 años ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If this is the case that you are in, then such a relationship is not a healthy thing at all. You must try to find means of making him cease such conduct, if you have not yet tried, and then intervention, if that does not work. 

In my opinion, a wife does not deserve to be treated in such a way, and a husband being flirtatious with other women is certainly not the traits of a Muslim. 

Please watch this short clip on how a wife should deal with her promiscuous husband:

With prayers for your success

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 años ago

Vasectomy usually stops permanently the ability of having children, hence it is not permissible at all. Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 años ago

Mut'ah marriage is a way to save people from falling into sinful acts but such type of marriage has conditions which must be fulfilled. If you need to save yourself from falling into sinful act through going for Mut'ah marriage, you need to get your Muslim wife's permission if you want to do the Mut'ah with a woman from People of Book (Ahlul Kitab) like Christians or Jews.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 años ago

It is not allowed for any one to use sexual device for personal use.
It is allowed for husband and wife to use such devices for other spouse only.

If the sexual device is totally controlled remotely by the other spouse, then it will be allowed.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 años ago

Rights of a wife on her husband are like the rights of her husband on her as far as respect and nice treatment are concerned. Allah (SWT) says in Quran (And they (women) have rights over their husband like the rights of their husbands over them, with kindness. (Sura Al-Baqarah, Verse 228).

Wife has the right of her full livelihood expenses from her husband, even if she was rich or more wealthy than her husband. 
Wife has the right of respect and nice treatment from her husband,b just like his right on her in respecting him and treating him nicely.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 años ago
It is permissible to have birth control measures as far as the effect of it is temporary. Birth control measures becomes not allowed when it's effect is permanent. Birth control should not kill a zygote which has been already formed. Preventing the formation of the zygote is allowed, but if the zygote has been formed by the unity of the male sperm with the female egg, then it will be not permissible to kill it or abort it.
Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 años ago

It is not obligatory to perform Ghusl before the second one.

Wassalam.