Conversion to Islam

Conversion to Islam is the adoption of the set of beliefs identified with the Islamic faith to the exclusion of others.

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Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 4 años ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

Your sisters are unfortunately giving opinions which contradict Islam. You may marry any suitable believer regardless of his race. You should try to convince your parents to meet the person and remind them that Islam doesn’t discriminate based on race. 

May Allah grant you success 

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 4 años ago

Religious conversion is like marriage; it is good to approach it with the intent for it to be a life commitment, while at the same time, we never know how it will go, how we will change later in life, or how we ourselves will change because of the experience. 

Like marriage, religious conversion can have a lot of challenges, especially unexpected ones - it is a journey that can be rewarding, but, like most rewarding journeys, it is not necessarily easy. In fact in the Qur'an God specifically promises to try those who say they have faith, so one can expect some challenges! 

Above and beyond that, due to the socio-cultural situation of the world today, there are some specific (and unfortunate) challenges associated with converting to Islam in a Muslim-minority country or if one is not part one of the main ethnic groups of the Muslim world. Often these challenges are felt both in "mainstream" society, if one is visibly Muslim (for instance, wearing hijab), as well as in the Muslim community. It doesn't hurt to talk to people and listen to their experiences and be sure this is something you are ready to navigate. 

If someone regrets becoming a Muslim and later decides to be not-Muslim, it is not as if the religious police or angels are going to swoop down from the heavens and arrest them. The main pressure to adhere to a religion (Islam or otherwise) usually comes from immediate family/blood relatives, such as parents (and I am guessing you do not have Muslim immediate family/blood relatives, so that is not a factor). As an individual, in practice, you have the freedom to do whatever you want. 

However, it is rarely as simple as flipping an on/off switch. A person who genuinely converts to Islam for 2 weeks and then changes their mind is unlikely to be deeply changed by the experience. However, a person who genuinely converts to Islam for 10 years and then changes their mind is likely to have a lot of spiritual, psychological, social, and possibly family, practical, or financial ties related to their life as a Muslim (such as a Muslim spouse or children whom they were raising as Muslims). As with anything else in life, the more you invest into something, the more difficult it is to break away from it.

Also, sometimes, when someone regrets converting to Islam, the problem is not actually Islam, but rather, they are regretting life choices (such as regarding career or marriage) or unhealthy behaviors (such as being a doormat), especially if they are using Islam to justify unhealthy behaviors. Sometimes they also are regretting choosing unhealthy or needlessly restrictive ideologies as being "more Islamic". There are many ways to live life as a Muslim and, if one is in that situation, it can be helpful to ask one's self what really needs changing, and if there is a different way to live life authentically as a Muslim. 

(This is unless it is actually a theological concern, which is a different issue.) 

In any case, I feel it is important to remain true to what you believe and true to yourself, including an acknowledgment of what your priorities are and also how things are going for you. This is true both before conversion and after conversion. There is no point in lying to ourselves since God knows what is inside us. However I also believe that if you sincerely pray and listen to your inner voice, you will know what is the right decision for you, now or at any other time in life. 

(Also there are some interesting stories of people who were thinking of converting to Islam asking God for signs - it never hurts to ask God for a sign!)
 

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I'm not sure there is a single "right reason" for conversion since people's reasons are often complex. I don't think it is necessarily wrong to convert for a significant other, as long as there is: (a) belief (on some level), and (b) commitment. The reason why I say this is that no one is going to have a fully formed belief as a Muslim without actually being a Muslim (just as no one is going to have a fully formed belief as a Catholic without actually being a Catholic). However one should at least agree with the general tenets (such as belief in God, belief in the Prophet, belief in the Qur'an as divine revelation, belief in the Hereafter) and have the willingness or desire to make a leap of faith, and to develop that faith.

In this case, assuming that the end goal is marriage, one should also have the desire to have a Muslim family and raise one's children as Muslims (which may or may not be what you want for the rest of your life).

However, there are no guarantees regarding marriage or relationships, and a good rule of thumb here would be to ask yourself, what if the relationship/marriage didn't work out - would you still be committed to being a Muslim? If the answer is "yes" then it is a good sign you are on the right track (even if a primary reason for converting is your partner); if the answer is "no", that warrants more consideration.

However, what concerns me about this question is that you say you are feeling pressured. This suggests that somewhere inside you don't want to do it or aren't ready. If you aren't ready, you aren't ready, and you shouldn't push yourself. Assuming you are in a Muslim-minority country, living as a Muslim and as a minority can be challenging, and if you don't have full commitment, it can be a difficult to manage that challenge. 

Anyway, things in life usually happen when they are ready to happen, and not before that. So maybe it is good to give it some time now and do prayer, reflection, and more research about Islam. (Even if you have already researched, there isn't a limit to how much one can research!) I am sure you will come to a decision when you are ready.

Also perhaps it is good to ask your partner to give you some space and not to push you, since this is a decision that affects your life and future and so it is one that you should be certain about.

From my observation, when someone converts to Islam specifically for the sake of a partner, the dynamics can sometimes get a little weird since their partner often becomes their first teacher about or model of Islam. That can set up a very slanted power dynamic and a loss of self (especially if it leads to their partner dictating to them a new identity and a set of instructions on what they can or cannot do in life). That, in turn, doesn't lead to the happiest of marriages. Anyway, I am not saying that is automatically going to happen, but it's another thing that you could keep an eye on if that is a factor here. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 años ago

Yes she can, as she has become a Muslim.

Muslim unmarried female can marry Muslim male.

Wassalam.

66781

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 años ago

As both of you are Muslims, Alhamdulillah, marriage is very simple and
easy according to the Islamic rules. Both of you should agree an
amount which is called Mahr which is the right of the female. If she
is a virgin, means if it is her first marriage, then she needs the
permission of her father. But if her father refuses for any reason
which is not valid in Islam to object on the marriage, then she is
allowed to get marriage to a suitable Muslim believer to save herself
from sinful acts. After agreeing the Mahr, you need a person who knows
Arabic language properly to recite the marriage agreement which is
called Nikah or Aqd of marriage. In this marriage agreement she, or
anyone on her behalf, says in Arabic, that she agrees to become your
wife for the agreed Mahr (ZAWWAJTUKA NAFSI ALAL MAHR AL MA'LOM) and you or someone on your behalf, say in
Arabic “I accept the marriage for the said Mahr”(QABILTU AL TAZWEEJ ALAL MAHR AL MA'LOOM). Witness of two pious men is recommend
but not compulsory in marriage.

May Allah SWT grant you both the best
and keep you blessed with more Imaan and prosperity.

Wassalaam.

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 4 años ago

Congratulations! I am happy to hear that you found each other.

It is permissible for you to recite the marriage contract yourselves. However, it is often nice to have a third party do it for you. I recommend that you call or e-mail a mosque (if there is not one near you, then one further away) and ask them to assist in conducting the marriage.

It is not unheard of for a religious marriage to be performed during a community gathering (such as Du'a Kumayl or a celebration) at a mosque, and this might be a good choice if you do not have Muslim religious friends, so that others can share in the occasion. You can always have another celebration later for other friends/family.

Best wishes!

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 años ago

It is compulsory on any new Muslim man to get himself circumcised.
Circumcision for him is an obligatory act (Wajib). If he does not
perform this obligatory act, his Tawaaf around the Ka’aba will be
invalid and if he slaughters any animal, that animal will be not be
Halal.

As far as having children with his Muslim wife, it is permissible in principle, but
his Muslim wife should be sure that he is really a Muslim who does not object
to the rules of Islam.

The Muslim women should be sure about the future of her marriage future with him and should not, God-forbid, have to face unexpected situation that he rejects the rules of Islam.

Wassalaam.

 

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There are all sorts of reasons why people convert to a religion, and sometimes the person doing the converting doesn't even know all of their own psychological motivations. 

If he professes and accepts the shahadatayn (there is no god but Allah and Muhammad is his prophet) and the general beliefs of Islam that go with it, and appears to be sincere and honest about it, then he is considered a Muslim and she is allowed to marry him. Only Allah knows what it is in people's hearts, and it sounds like this guy may be rather complicated. 

If he is openly telling her that the only reason he is practicing Islam is because he wants to marry her (and, for instance, he will apostasize if she rejects him), then it is inadvisable for her to marry him, especially if she intends to have Islam as part of the family environment and pass Islam on to the children. For instance, if he says he doesn't really believe that the Qur'an is divine revelation but is just saying it to her dad to marry her, that's more or less like saying he is not a Muslim anyway. 

However I suspect that, after 7 years, the truth here is probably somewhere in the middle - that is, if there were no commitment or self-investment in the faith, he probably wouldn't still be practising it. From the little you have said, it sounds like his personal identity and sense of self may be caught up in her, such that he defines himself by her, including but not limited to religious identity. (As a side note, this isn't unheard of for converts to Islam, given that the often lose a sense of family or heritage, although in my experience it tends to happen more with women.) That doesn't make him a non-believer, but it isn't psychologically healthy especially in a marriage. (This may or may not be the case, just putting it out there.)

In any case, it is good for him to sort himself out. It may be that Allah will test him by preventing the marriage in order to see whether he is really dedicated to his faith. If he wouldn't continue the faith without her, he should question why he wants to commit to starting a Muslim family and living Islam for the rest of his life and having it live on in his children.

7 years is a rather long time to follow a religion solely for the sake of hoping for a marriage and, indeed, it is a rather long time to wait for someone. Yes it is somewhat romantic to think of someone waiting that long, but, also, when that happens, sometimes it is the case that the person is more in love with what they can't have rather than the actual person, or else they are in love with the ideal of the person instead of the actual person. It may be than an actual marriage wouldn't work out, even if it is what he thinks he wants. Also, if there has been no progress towards the marriage in 7 years, it is worth considering that it may never work out.

So I think it is better if he focuses on some self-reflection on deciding who he really is or believes and who he himself wants to be in life, rather than putting things on the shoulders of his beloved. It's not really fair to put all that on someone else anyway. Regardless of what the interfering issues with the marriage are (or what he thinks the interfering issues are, since, surprisingly often, in my experience, men do not understand the real reasons why women do not want to marry them), I also think he would benefit from setting a deadline for the marriage, say, 6 months, either they get married or he moves on.

 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 años ago

If she believes in Allah as The One God, and in Muhammad (SAWA) as the last messenger from Allah, then she is a Muslim even if intends to seek financial support.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 años ago

Yes, it is compulsory for you to get circumcised as the Hadeeth narrated from Imam Jafar Al-Sadiq (AS) that Imam Ali (AS) said: When a man becomes a Muslim, he must get circumcised even if he reached the age of eighty.

( Was'il al-Shia by al-Hurr al-Aamili, vol. 21, page 440.)

It is not allowed for man to perform Tawaf ( around the Ka'bah) if he is not circumcised as it narrated from Imam Jafar Al-Sadiq ( AS): uncircumcised man is not allowed to do Tawaf around Ka'bah. ( Wasa'il al-Shia by al-Hurr al-Aamili, vol. 13, page 270).

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 años ago

If the virgin Muslim girl does not know her father or has no way to know
about him to seek his permission for her marriage, then she will be
allowed to get married to a suitable Mo’min who is compatible to her.

Wassalam.

62794

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 4 años ago

According to Islam, it is not ideal to have a pet dog, and it is better in terms of Islamic etiquette not to have a dog in the house, but it is not forbidden to have one.

However, if you have a dog in the house, you should be sure to observe Islamic rules of cleanliness for prayer. For instance, before praying salat, wash any area of yourself that the dog might have been licking or if the dog came into contact you while it was wet. When praying salat, avoid praying directly on the floor and instead pray on top of something (like a prayer rug or, if you do not have one, a towel or mat or something similar), and put it away when you are not using it so the dog cannot get to it. Also, be sure your clothes do not have dog hair on them and have not been licked by the dog or touched by a wet dog; if your dog is very affectionate, you may wish to have a separate pair of clothes that you only wear for salat (if this is possible). Also, if your family is very casual about dishes and where the dog goes, be sure the dishes you use have not been, ahem, slobbered on, licked, etc. (Some people are very strict about these things and some people are casual, that is why I am mentioning it)

Yes, this is inconvenient, which is one of the reasons it is better not to have a dog in the house! But you can still practice Islam and all aspects of Islam with or without a dog present.