I am sorry to hear about this situation. This is certainly despicable behavior from him and a breach of trust.
It is difficult to have a marriage without trust. However, it is your decision whether or not you wish to stay in the marriage.
None of us here can give you good advice on whether or not to stay in the marriage without knowing your situation (both personally and also in terms of practical matters). It is best if you can discuss this with people who you know in person whom you trust, such as family or people whose advice you respect.
Wishing you the best either way, and sorry you have to go through this.
If your father gives you the pocket money as a gift for you with out any condition, you can then spend it as you wish in lawful expenditure or save it or invest it. No one will have then right on that money or ask you to return it. If your father gives you pocket money for spending and not for saving or investing, then he has right to ask you to use it for your expenses only and return the amounts which were not used in your expenses.
Most of parents give their children pocket money with out condition.
This is unacceptable. Whatever the family's religion may be, Muslims must honour and respect their families. Your wife has no right to do this.
If she has certain concerns, you should address them. There might be something she has seen, like abuse, or intimidation, or trying to brainwash your son, etc... Try to pinpoint what the dispute is about, and deal with it.
But if it is just because she has no respect for your family, this does not give her the right to deprive her son of visiting or being with his grandparents and family.
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