Family

55144

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 4 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

As Muslims we must always be forebearing and forgiving, even to those who wrong us. The holy Quran clearly tells us that we must not hold grudges against those who believe. This is in verse 10 of Surah al-Hashr:

And do not put in our hearts any rancour towards those who believe.

Regarding someone being family and kin, we know how Islam emphasises on observing the best of conduct regarding one's family. There will always be disputes and disagreements, but a believer must never harbour any resentment towards another believer.

What we can say is we leave what they did for Allah ta'ala to deal with.

With prayers for your success. 

53814

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 years ago

We should not cut ties with any relative even if they are bad to us and call us Kafir.

Our behavior should prove to them and other relatives our real identity and whether we are Kafirs or not.

Ahlul Bayt (AS) taught us to mix and treat our relatives and tribes with best manners. People wll then know the real teachings of Ahlul Bayt by seeing the good practice of the Shia.

Wassalam.

53413

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 years ago

He has to be very polite and respect his parents and never make them feel insulted because of his choice of marriage. He has always to be just and kind to his wife and never allow injustice or insult to her. maintaining both sides needs wisdom and will power with seeking help of Allah (SWT).

Wassalam

51804

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 4 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

A wife is entitled to having an independent place of her own, with her husband/children. This can be a house on its own, or a section of a house shared by others, but with their independence and privacy.

In a situation where the wife is not comfortable living with her in-laws, she is able to deal with this in a variety of ways, but the one main issue is never to allow problems to escalate. 

Parent-in-laws are like parents, and hence they must be respected and revered.

Try to look at things from a different perspective, finding ways of comprehending their side of the situation. By doing this, you will eliminate your possible sensitivity towards things they might say or do to you. 

Try to establish boundaries privacy and independence, where they grant you what you are entitled to have. 

Try to explain things that you might not be comfortable with, by communicating with those around you, politely and with utmost respect. 

Do your side of contributing to the house, whatever it may be, and do it with passion and precision, so that you are not criticised. 

Your husband has an important role in all of this, not just to mediate, but to also explain to both sides of his family and you how all can live harmoniously and get used to each other.

There must be some set plan and strategy as to when you will all be living on your own. The plan might be to live with them until you are financially stable to go out on your own, or to purchase a house, or something like that, but there must be some scheduled plan.

If you have tried all of these things, try again and again, all for the sake of avoiding further altercation and to sustain the relationship you have with your husband. 

Hopefully, with patience and understanding you will not know accomplished the skill of containing problems, but also reached your goal of living independently and on your own so that you can both build a family together, in shaa Allah.

Wassalam

49943

Abbas Jaffer, Sheikh Abbas Jaffer is an optometrist by profession and has a Master’s degree in Islamic Sciences. He is a part time lecturer at the Islamic College in London and is currently writing his doctoral... Answered 4 years ago

There is no outward sin in doing that, that but it could be a sign of a deeper issue in the family relationship that needs resolution, perhaps with the help of local counsellors.

48785

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 4 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Although from a shar'i perspective this might not be obligatory, but one is asked it would be haram to lie and not tell the truth.

Also, ethically it is important for both sides to be transparent and clear about everything. Present everything to each other, and it is up to both sides to decide and agree, or disagree.

The problem with concealing such information is should it surface later on, it will become very difficult to contain and could lead to deep issues.

Wassalam

48744

Sayyed Muhammad Husaini Ragheb, Sayyed Muhammad Husaini Ragheb has a BA in Law from Guilan University, Iran and has also undertaken Hawzah studies in Qom. He used to be a Cultural Affairs director of Ethics Group of Al-Mustafa... Answered 5 years ago

He had this right to gift any of his property to anyone he wanted and it doesn't matter that he himself inherited these properties and didn't acquire them through his own endeavors

47293

Sayyed Muhammad Husaini Ragheb, Sayyed Muhammad Husaini Ragheb has a BA in Law from Guilan University, Iran and has also undertaken Hawzah studies in Qom. He used to be a Cultural Affairs director of Ethics Group of Al-Mustafa... Answered 5 years ago

To be more precise we have to say that a woman has to obey her husband in "not leaving the house without his permission".
She can use other means of communication for doing Silatu-l-arhaam i.e. to odserve her duty of having relationship with the blood-related family members, like in social media or through phone calls...
And in cases that she is outside the house and does not need her husband's permission,she can have an appointment to visit them.
So a man can never prohibit her from seeing her relatives or speaking to them.

Abolfazl Sabouri, Abolfazl Sabouri is based in New Zealand and has an MA in Jurisprudence and Islamic Studies. He is a graduate of Elmiyeh seminary in Qom with more than 15 years of study and research where he has... Answered 5 years ago

According to most of jurisprudence the wife should obey her husband. However what the husband does is a kind of opposition and it is forbidden. 

48039

Abbas Di Palma, Shaykh Abbas Di Palma holds a BA and an MA degree in Islamic Studies, and certifications from the Language Institute of Damascus University. He has also studied traditional Islamic sciences in... Answer updated 5 years ago

Congregational prayer and prayer at the beginning of its time are both considered highly recommended in Islam. In "Wasa'il al-Shi'a" has been reported from one of the A'imma, peace be upon them, that congregational prayer is not mandatory but rather a sunna, however once it has been established it is not appropriate for the believer to abandon it with no valid justification to the point that Imam said: "Who abandons the congregation of the believers with dislike without any valid reason, in fact has not prayed". Another narration from the same source on the authority of Imam al-Sadiq, peace be upon him, says: "For each salat, there are two times and its first time is the best one. No one should delay it until its last time unless he has a valid justification". Regarding more specifically your question, considering that praying 10-20 minutes later may still be considered as "its first time" according to the 'urf, by waiting for your family you would get the blessing of both congregational prayer and prayer at the beginning of its time.  You may also use those 10-20 minutes for preparing a suitable environment for the Jama'ah and recite some adhkar.

With prayers for your success.