Girl

A girl is a young female, usually human, usually a child or an adolescent. When she becomes an adult, she is described as a woman. The term girl may also be used to mean a young woman, and is sometimes used as a synonym for daughter.

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Well, people dream all sorts of things, some of them have meaning and some of them don't. If she is praying for this and you know she is praying for this, it makes sense that you might dream about it. Possibly your subconscious is thinking about it even if your conscious mind isn't.

If her brother has expressed an interest in marrying you, and it is a reasonable possibility for you to marry him, you could consider it. It is a blessing to have an opportunity to marry someone compatible whom you might have some trust in. It could be nice to marry a friend's brother (although keep in mind it can also change the nature of your friendship, especially if there are marriage problems). Of course there is no guarantee that the marriage would be happy but it is worth considering if you think he might be a compatible spouse. However you should make your decision based on the real life circumstances around you, not just the dreams.

If he hasn't expressed an interest in getting married then there is no reason to give it thought - he may or may not be ready to get married right now.

Anyway, you are lucky to have a friend who likes you so much that she wants you to be family. :)

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 years ago

She can seek guidance from any trusted person like her mother, sister, aunt, cousin sisters. If she has no trusted female to guide her, she can ask her father or brother to guide her.

Knowledge should be taken from any trusted source.

Wassalam.

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Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 4 years ago

Bismaillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

It isn’t obligatory to have kids but it is highly recommend and encouraged in Islam. Usually the father has a strong influence on his children. so he should make sure that they are raised according to the teachings of the prophet Mohammed and his purified progeny (peace be upon them all). 

The husband MUST ensure that his children will be raised to not praise the enemies of Ahlul bayt (as) which many Muslims unknowingly do. He should raise children who will disassociate from the oppressors of the imams (as). 

It is good for him to also try and guide his wife in a way isn’t forcing her. If you both decide not to have children for the time being then that is entirely your choice. 

May Allah grant you success 

 

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Abbas Di Palma, Shaykh Abbas Di Palma holds a BA and an MA degree in Islamic Studies, and certifications from the Language Institute of Damascus University. He has also studied traditional Islamic sciences in... Answered 4 years ago

as salam alaikum

it is not permissible to dress or imitate people of the opposite gender in things that are peculiar to them.

With prayers for your success.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 years ago

Allah, The Creator of male and female, The All Knowing, The Most Merciful, The Most Wise, knows when girl becomes Baligh and when boy becomes Baligh. Our knowledge is very limited and we can not challenge His Knowledge, Wisdom and Mercy.

Girl becomes Baligh when she completes nine lunar years much before the age of a boy when he becomes Baligh. The wisdom behind it is best known to Allah, the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (SAWA). The intellectual abilities of the girl become perfect when she completes nine lunar years, but boy needs more time to reach to that intellectual abilities. Baligh girl is not a child even if western society calls her a child. She think and weigh things in a different way if kids thinking. This might be one reason,but we always believe the Allah (SWT) knows the best.

Wassalam.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 4 years ago

No one is perfect, and no one is a perfect spouse! We all have flaws. It is not good to idealize someone too much before marriage, because, after marriage, we discover they are only human beings, and it can open the door to disappointment. 

However, there is no harm in considering your spouse perfect *after* you are married. It might avoid many arguments. :)

There are many factors that go into a happy and lasting marriage - for instance, physical attraction, personal compatibility, commitment, treating someone nicely, and the willingness to compromise. None of these relate specifically to hijab. 

It is recommended to marry someone of faith who is conscious of Allah. If hijab reflects a person's faith, that is a good sign. However, hijab is not a guarantee of a happy marriage or even of shared views about Islam. So it is safer not to stereotype and to look at the individual instead.

However, it is good if there is agreement about the matter of hijab. That is, if a young man is looking to marry a girl who wears hijab, and the girl wears hijab, then this is a source of agreement and one less possible source of conflict.

 

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Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answer updated 4 years ago

Bismillah, Asalamu Alaykom,

The primary or default ruling is that a virgin girl wanting to marry, MUST seek permission of her current guardian such as her father or her parental grandfather. Marrying without their permission wouldn’t be permissible. If neither were present however - which meant that it wasn’t possible for a girl to obtain their permission - then their permission wouldn’t be required. It could also be possible that both of them are deceased which would make the matter in the girl’s hands.

An important question arises though, and I believe that this matter must be addressed as I haven’t seen many scholars speak on it. The matter is as follows:

If you are enquiring about a secondary ruling on this matter, and are wanting to know if it’s possible in any circumstances for a girl to marry without the consent of her guardian, then the answer is yes.

The religion of Islam gives women rights and in extreme circumstances of hardship, the guardianship of the father can be dropped. Let us say that a family is oppressing their daughter by stopping her to marry for no legitimate Islamic reasons. Let us say that by preventing this girl to marry, she will fall into sin and start losing her religion; in such cases, a virgin girl may marry a suitable believer without permission provided that such a decision isn’t based on emotions or a haram so called ‘love marriage’. She should also be of sound mind and distinction.

We have faced many cases in our communities where due to racism or cultural reasons, parents have rejected suitable believing brothers to marry their daughters! Or even the other case where a son is stopped marrying a suitable believing woman due to non-Islamic reasons and family pressure. I have personally met brothers in their mid-thirties still unmarried due to past believing sisters never being able to satisfy their families’ cultural expectations. Such practices contradict the many ahadith from our Prophet and imams (peace be upon them) and people should reflect on the following narration:

فَإِنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ص قَالَ إِذَا جَاءَكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ خُلُقَهُ وَ دِينَهُ فَزَوِّجُوهُ إِنَّكُمْ إِلَّا تَفْعَلُوا ذَلِكَ تَكُنْ فِتْنَةٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَ فَسَادٌ كَبِيرٌ ‘

Verily the Messenger of Allāh (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) said: “If someone comes to you and you are satisfied with his manners and religion, marry him. Verily, if you do not do that, there will be fitnah (sedition) on the earth and great fasād (corruption)”

This is why we see many fall into corruption or even leave the religion due to not being married. Therefore, this is why some scholars have conducted marriage contracts without consent of the guardian as the refusal cannot be based on non-Islamic reasons.

Please check the rulings of some Maraja below:

2440. If a guardian’s refusal to allow a virgin to marry will cause her serious harm, or contribute to social corruption, or cause her unbearable hardship, then his guardianship is nullified and she can marry immediately without his permission. But if she is not intellectually mature, then she becomes a ward of the religious authority (the marjaʿ).

- S. Taqi Al-Moddaressi, The Laws of Islam, p.439.

"Q: If a baligh and mature girl wishes to marry a devout Muslim young man but her father refuses this for material reasons, is it permissible for her to marry him without the consent of the father, if the latter continues to insist on his refusal?"

A: It is permissible, if the husband is of equal or comparable status to her.

S. Sadiq Al-Shirazi, Islamic Laws, p.486 ​​​​

2441. If a girl is not a virgin, or if she is a virgin but seeking the consent of her father or paternal grandfather is not possible, or entails a lot of hardship and she needs to get married, then the consent of her father or paternal grandfather will not be mandatory.

-  Wahid Khorasani, Islamic laws, p.518.

Q [45]                                                                                          

If the guardian of a virgin girl refuses to grant her permission to get married, is the girl allowed to get married?

A - if the guardian refuses to give his permission for her marriage for the sake of her own welfare then she is not permitted to marry without the consent. If the person that approached her for marriage was suitable for her and the refusal of the guardian was out of stubbornness, then his permission is not required." - From the official website of Sayed Sa’eed Al-Hakeem.

So to answer the question, if a girl married without permission for no valid Islamic reason, then it would be sinful. If she however had no choice due to extreme circumstances and was forced to flee her home, then no sin has been committed inshallah.

Please note that the above rulings should be taken into consideration as a very LAST resort. Even if a sister’s parents reject a suitable believer, she should do everything possible to try and convince them. She may also seek help from reputable scholars or members of her Muslim community to mediate between her and her parents.

May Allah grant you success

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 years ago

If her father and paternal are dead, she will be allowed to marry a believer who is compatible to her in Religion and morals.

Wassalam.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 4 years ago

Especially for teenagers/young adults, it is better to avoid close friendships with people of the opposite gender whom you cannot marry. At this age, feelings develop easily, and it can lead to wrong actions or heartbreak (or both). There are also a lot of hormones that interfere with good judgment. Sometimes, being forbidden from being with someone makes you want them more and that can lead to a Romeo and Juliet type of situation which doesn't work out well for anyone. 

Also, it may lead to false hopes, e.g. fantasizing that he might convert to Islam, whereas that is unlikely. I think in general, girls tend to look at young men as potential life partners at a younger age than guys. So it is likely she might end up emotionally dependent and starting to build up the illusion that they will be together in life, whereas this is unlikely to happen in real life. At the same time, his mind might be entirely on pursuing his own goals in life and not sharing this idea. 

Islamically speaking, it isn't appropriate to be spending time alone together, going places together, being emotionally intimate with each other, touching each other in any manner, etc. 

I am not saying there is no possible benefit to the friendship as friends can help us through all sorts of life challenges, but just that it's better to be cautious and more distant.

The way to do that is just being less close and communicating less and etc. Friendships also take their own course and people often move apart in life, especially after graduation. 

 

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Abbas Di Palma, Shaykh Abbas Di Palma holds a BA and an MA degree in Islamic Studies, and certifications from the Language Institute of Damascus University. He has also studied traditional Islamic sciences in... Answer updated 4 years ago

as salam alaikum

you should always respect your parents and treat them kindly. However they cannot dictate the way you have to live your religion. A hadith says:

لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق

"There is no way to obey a creature by disobeying the Creator" (see "Musnad al-Imam al-Kazim").

You should also try to guide them with good manners and give them nasihah concerning their religious duty as Muslims and parents.

With prayers for your success.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 5 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala 

According to the mainstream view of Islamic jurists, a female reaches the age of religious maturity, or bulugh and becomes religious duty-bound (mukallafah) at the completion of nine lunar years.

This is irrespective of whether she has reached physical puberty, or not. 

The evidence for this are authentic traditions from Ahlul Bayt (a.s.). As Muslims we believe that our religion has taken into consideration all aspects of a human being, whether it be physical, social, mental or spiritual. It is for this reason that we must adhere to the legislative rulings conveyed to us through our jurists, as they have deduced these rulings through the primary sources of Islam. 

I would like to further add that this is indeed an honourable privilege for females, as it means Allah ta'ala has blessed females with something quicker than males. There are two conditions for takleef becoming obligatory on a believer: 'Aql, which means rational comprehension, and qudrah, or ability.

A female will surpass a male in acts of worship and obligations and devotion to the Almighty, which is also another valuable privilege. She becomes responsible, accountable and independent in the religious side of her life. She will develop quicker than a male, and mature in all ways faster than a male. 

Furthermore, we must not mix between puberty, and entering into the age of takleef.

And Allah knows best.