Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims
I have extreme fear of death and it is affecting me daily, I feel like I will die soon and I get panic attacks regularly, I am 16 years old and I need help to get rid of this feeling. What should I do?
Fear of death is mainly caused by misunderstanding death and its consequences or because of fearing the bad results of sinful acts.
Death is a definite stage in the life of every human being and it does not mean a disaster but a transfer from a stage of life to another stage in which good people will enjoy the great reward and Mercy of Allah, while bad people will meet the results of their own deeds.
Believing in The Mercy of Allah should make us hope to get from His Mercy whether we are alive in this world or after this world.
Death is the start of the happy life of the believer as well as the start of punishment of the enemies of Allah.
Always trust and hope to get from Allah's Mercy and repeat: YA ARHAMARRAHIMEEN. Repeating Salawaat and Estighfaar is also very useful in getting peace of mind.
Am I allowed to talk more casually or even joke sometimes with non Mahrams, but without the intention of lust and fear of falling into sin and without being in a relationship with them?
This is a very important question, and relevant to all of us, as we all somehow socially interact with others. In today's society, the boundaries of non-mahram interaction are also weaker than before, which makes it even more challenging for us Muslims.
Please watch this presentation I gave in the holy month on this very topic, with detail explanation. It starts from the 1:38 hour mark:
I have astraphobia which is fear of thunder and lightning. Is there a solution and Dua for this condition?
Repeating Estighfaar, Salawaat, Ya Arham Arrahimeen, Ayatul Kursi, Sura Al-Hamd and Sura Tawheed.
I am 30 years old, not good-looking, and I don't have a stable career. I don't wish to delay marriage and want to complete half my faith but most importantly I am in fear of falling into sin. What should I do?
Inshallah you will find someone. As they say, there is somebody for everybody.
Attraction is somewhat different from conventional standards of beauty or handsomeness; sometimes two people like each other even if they don't fit society's definition of what is attractive. And, of course, different people have different ideas of what they find attractive in a mate. So, I am sure you have some features or qualities which are appealing!
And, of course, not everyone is looking primarily at physical appearance; some people value inner qualities such as compassion, helpfulness, reliability, and other things; or they admire other skills such as artistic skill, intellect, sports skill, charitable work, good conversation, or whatever. This is, of course, apart from religiosity.
If you really feel you are not physically appealing, then maybe it is good to focus on demonstrating the other personal qualities you have to offer, and this could make you look good in the other person's eyes. Most people would much prefer to be with someone who genuinely demonstrates they will look after them and be there for them or other demonstrations of good character (such as helping others) rather than someone who just looks good.
If you are male, you could consider that a lot of women don't look primarily at physical appearance especially if they are looking to settle down and have a stable life. If you need to convince the family, certainly most women's families couldn't care less what the man looks like. At the end of the day, physical appearance waxes and wanes, but a person's character remains.
As for career, do your best (and these are difficult times). But also remember that, these days, depending on where you live, there isn't always a social expectation that the man will be the sole provider (even if he is obliged to be by shariah). Also, as women get older, if they are single, they are more likely to have a career and income. So, this might become less important if you look to marry someone in a slightly older age bracket. Inshallah Allah will enrich you upon marriage, as the Qur'an says.
In my observation, the main factors for people getting married and staying married are not handsomeness/beauty and wealth, but, rather, having a good set of family values and a strong sense of commitment, as well as maintaining strong social ties with others. (This is somewhat counter to what people think.)
Put differently, most people who genuinely want to get married, do get married.
Often, when people don't get married, there is sometimes some underlying reason; for instance, they aren't really wanting commitment, they are unable to make up their mind, or there is something else pushing a potential spouse away (apart from financial reasons). So if you know someone who has good insight into human beings, you could ask the if there is anything that you might change in how you are looking for a spouse or how you are interacting with potential spouses or their families.
Of course, there could be nothing for them to say and it could simply be a matter of circumstances or simply not being the right time for you.
Anyway, inshallah, will do duas for your finding a good spouse. Continue to ask Allah especially on laylat al qadr and Allah is shy to reject duas!