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Yes. Iddah of Talaq is must even if the sexual relation was with contraception. Your Iddah after Talaq will be three menstrual periods.

'Wassalam.

Bismihi ta'ala

The divorce would not be valid if that was the case, and the best thing to do is for you both to refer to a qualified scholar for marriage counselling, and if no solution can be made and there is no hope for reconciliation, then husband can inform the qualified scholar and conduct the divorce in the correct way, meeting all the valid requirements, and give a document for it as well. 

And Allah knows best

Bismihi ta'ala

There is no 'iddah for the wife to observe while "filing" for divorce. She must observe 'iddah only after the Islamic divorce is recited. When the talaq is recited, her 'iddah period will be three menstrual cycles. 

And Allah knows best

Bismihi ta'ala

If she becomes Muslim, her marriage is automatically be nullified, should her husband not convert as well. She will need to observe 'iddah as well.  

Of course, this is a serious decision that she needs to deeply think about, as leaving her husband might not be an easy thing to do.

And Allah knows best