Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

30 Questions

There are many Hadeeths about the great reward and ample blessings and gifts for the person who performs Salah. Also the emphasis on praying Salah with dedication as we read in the first verses in Sura Al-Mo'minoon.

You can read in Thawab Al-A'maal by al-Shaikh Al-Sadouq many narrations in this regard e.g. When the believer performs Salah, the angles cover him with a cover of mercy, and his sins will fall down like the leaves of the tree in autumn. If the believer knows the mercy on him while he is praying, he will never leave his Salah. Prayers cleans the book of  deeds and removes the bad deeds, etc.

Wassalam.

It is unacceptable for a mother-in-law to be verbally abusive to her daughter-in-law. Verbal abuse, jealousy and hatred to that extent can be part of a personality disorder. I can recommend researching in detail the characteristics of the malignant, narcissistic woman and mother. In insulting someone you love, she is also abusing you.  Mothers with a narcissistic personality disorder (as opposed to just being self-centred) are competitive in terms of who their child loves most.

How your children see you behave with your mother and wife will affect their own marriages down the line. Can you ask your mother not to verbally abuse your wife? If you feel you can't, that is revealing something about how your mother has trained you to relate to her, i.e. to remain passive and take the abuse; to not have enough self-worth to even politely ask her not to be verbally abusive.

Your duty is to love and protect your wife. You are the head of your household. You also have to protect the well being of your children. If they see their mother being abused their well being will be affected too. 

According to Ayatollah Dastghayb-Shirazi, you are entitled to minimise or even cut ties with family members whose bad behaviour you can't reform, or whose bad behaviour gets worse by your presence, or whose bad behaviour you indirectly condone by co-operating with them. Being good to your parents does not mean condoning behaviour that could destroy your family.

https://www.al-islam.org/greater-sins-volume-1-sayyid-abdul-husayn-dastg...

You never really know about people. Even in the time of the Prophet (S), there were hypocrites who pretended to be Muslim. Only Allah knows what is in the heart, and only Allah knows whether people will follow through with a lifetime commitment (such as converting to a religion - or, for that matter, having a lifelong marriage).

Many of the sahabah converted instantly. So if he converts tomorrow, he could be an Abu Dharr or a Salman al-Farsi. Or he could be... someone else. One way you can glean some idea of this is with respect to how he is with commitment in life, in general. Has he followed through on other commitments, or does he tend to jump around from thing to thing? This still doesn't give you a full picture but gives you some idea. 

Also, people sometimes change throughout life anyway - there is no guarantee that the person you marry will be the same person forever. 

So, you can never know for sure, but it is good to follow your intuition and good judgment and advice from people you trust and who have wisdom. If you are having doubts, possibly your intuition is picking up on signs that your rational mind is dismissing. 

You could wait some time after he has converted (say, a couple years) before committing to the marriage to see how he does with Islam. 

That said, it is not respectful to doubt that someone is sincere about his religious belief simply because he was not born into it (unless there are some signs that the person is insincere or not thinking straight), and respect is important for marriage. So this should also be sorted out before marriage. 

It is not uncommon for women to convert at the time of marriage to a Muslim man and often they remain in the faith and become strong Muslims. Of course, the social situation and experiences of men are somewhat different, but just putting that out there. 

We always need to take lessons from realities of life and study the majority of similar cases before emotionally going ahead with marriage proposals based on promises. Lot of marriages have taken place based on a promise to become a Muslim but ended up with different situations few years after the marriage. Emotions before marriage usually don't last long after marriage. Usually married couples face some issues and misunderstandings between them which can decrease their emotions towards one other. Studying the results of thousands  of similar cases should make us more careful before deciding as such decision is for life. As many similar promises were not fulfilled properly by many, we need to be sure that person has really accepted Islam for the sake of Allah and decided to follow the True religion. His real practice is must and not his promise. After he really practiced Islam like a good Muslim, then you can assess whether he is willing to remain a Muslim for life or just for the sake of marriage.

In fact just promising to be a Muslim will not make permissible for him to marry a Muslim girl, unless he is already a Muslim.

You need to be sure about your future and the future of your children.

Wassalam.