Spouse

A spouse is a significant other in a marriage, civil union, or common-law marriage. The term is gender neutral, whereas a male spouse is a husband and a female spouse is a wife.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 week ago

Secretly investigating personal matters has different types, not all of them are permissible. It is not permissible in Islam to spy on others even on matters which you don't like or don't accept unless it is a criminal matter which victimises others. Husband and wife are not allowed to spy on one another unless there a reasonable possibility of a criminal or Haraam act which can be stopped or prevented by such investigation.

Wassalam.

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 week ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Secretly collecting information from someone could be done for various meanings, so we cannot say it is absolutely haram, or falls under spying. If it is the wife, who suspects her husband is engaging in extramarital relationships, then this is something that needs to be addressed, not just by "confirming" if suspicions are real. 

I have discussed this in the following clip:

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Rebecca Masterton, Dr Rebecca Masterton graduated with a BA in Japanese Language and Literature; an MA in Comparative East Asian and African Literature and a PhD in Islamic literature of West Africa. She has been... Answered 1 month ago

Everyone has different methods of self-growth, different approaches to life, and philosophies. Sometimes, someone that may be intent on following a certain path, or programme of self-development, may not see the limitations of that approach from the perspective of their spouse, who cannot follow the same programme, due to the limitations that they see, or issues with the approach.

I am not saying that this is your situation, but I have seen it in some cases. Be careful not to alienate your spouse in focusing upon your inner work, as marriage is also a part of that inner work. The challenges between two people are often what actually forces a person to grow, and to mature.

The danger comes if someone actively tries to undermine you. That is a totally different situation, and would call into question the foundation of the marriage, but if they are allowing you space, even though not actively on the same page as you, then you can work towards what you have in common as friends and allies.

There needs to be a balance between both people: both allowing some space for the way the other person is, while also bearing in mind each other's obligations.

Don't expect them to follow your programme - perhaps they have a viewpoint that could be beneficial to you, which you can't see at the moment.

These are just suggestions, as I don't know your personal situation.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 months ago

Quranic verse are very clear in ordering the believers not to mention any thing which can hurt the feelings of a believer or might cause disrespect to him. Discussing marital intimacy or seeking clarification about one's spouse must not cause any harm or disrespect or annoying the spouse in any way.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 7 months ago

In such case, she needs to request some one who is able to pronounce Arabic letters to recite it on her behalf.

Wassalam.

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Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 8 months ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. There is no problem in praying for that but just don't let it become a barrier to suitable partners when looking for perspective spouses. May Allah grant you all of your lawful desires.

May you always be successful 

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Seyed Ali Musawi, Seyed Ali Musawi studied religion and history at the University of California, San Diego and subsequently he studied for more than 8 years at the Islamic Seminary in Qum, Iran, focusing on Islamic... Answered 1 year ago

Salaam allaikum,

This is considered forbidden (haram). It is not allowed to use any foreign objects during sexual intercourse.

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

If the device is totally controlled by you only to stimulate your spouse, it will be then permissible as husband and wife are allowed to enjoy themselves between themselves. Device should not be used by any person to sexually stimulate himself or herself alone.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 years ago

Not at all. This question has root in Shafi'ee Sunni sect who claim that touching any women invalidates the Wudhu. This claim came because of their misunderstanding of the meaning of the Quranic verse (Or you touched women and did not get water then perform Tayammum) Sura 5, verse 6. The meaning of touching is not the linguistic meaning of just touching, but it means the sexual relationship which causes the state of Janabah. This claim has come from narrations from Omar ibn Al-Khattab and Abdullah ibn Omar and other narrators. Majority of Sunni scholars and all Shia scholars refused these narrations.

Kissing one's spouse does not invalidate Wudhu.

Wassalam.

Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 2 years ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

No this doesn't break wudu unless it causes one to ejaculate. 
 

May Allah grant you success 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

In my opinion, yes, I do think it would be a valid reason to reject a marriage proposal. Ultimately, what we aspire to achieve in marriage is living together and forming a family. 

Circumstances could arise during a marriage where a spouse must be away for a period of time, in which case consent from both sides is necessary. But if stay away from each other for long periods of time can be avoided, then that would be the best and healthiest thing to do. 

If it is unavoidable, and will be for years, and they cannot travel together, nor see each other, then a decision must be made that would be equally fair for both. Getting married and then immediately leaving your wife/husband for a few years is not an ideal situation to be in, and if it can be avoided, then that is best for both. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

My dear brother, why do you have to think of this as a bad or negative thing. Yes, it is frustrating, but don't they say there are plenty more fish in the sea. 

You cannot force yourself onto someone. People have different circumstances, and various conditions and requirements. They could have expectations as wel. 

It's just that you might not be meeting these requirements or expectation. That's normal. Don't take that in the way and don't feel offended. You have God, and I am sure you have family and those around you who love and respect you. 

This happens to most of us. We do not need to look at it as "rejection". If you are following the correct method of our Islamic culture and how we go forward with marriage proposals, then you should have no worry at all. Just leave it for your parents, or elders to deal with. 

However, if you are taking it all upon yourself to directly contact these women, then you must expect negative answers as well, especially if she is a religious woman who will never over-ride the authority of her parents. 

You just need to adopt the correct Islamic method. 

Do not give up. Marriage is very important, but more important is sustaining that marriage and being succesful in your married life. So, do not rush, do not compromise. And beseech Allah ta'ala. Do dua to Almighty God to open the path for you, and grant you a noble, righteous and committed wife.

Do tawassul to Ahlul Bayt (a.s.), and be patient. 

With prayers for your success.