Sexual

113013

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 anni fa

Bismihi ta'ala

In Islam, masturbating is haram. If the woman is married, it is her husband's duty to satisfy his wife's sexual needs. It is very oppressive and selfish if he does not. We have numerous hadiths that mention this as well. 

If, for whatever reason, the husband is not fulfilling his duty and catering to her rights, it does not give her permission to do haram, and she must address this with her husband, or find other solutions.

And Allah knows best. 

112990

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 anni fa

Bismihi ta'ala

No, sweat does not become najis in this case. 

A general principle is when one is in the state of janabah, it is imperitave to hasten in doing their ghusl. 

And Allah knows best.

112413

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 anni fa

It is not allowed as it can divert your attention to sinful acts. If are married and away from your wife, you will be allowed to visualize about you and her as your wife but not to the extend of reaching ejaculation.

Wassalam.

111404

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 anni fa

Reading such things might harm in the long term as it leaves on you unconscious part of your mind harmful effects. Doctors and specialised  advisors have  already published many scientific books in this subjects. Publishing personal sexual experience might be not approved by scientist as it can based on certain circumstances which are not existing with every one who seeks advice, and might also encourage some persons to intimate it and some might fall in wrong.

I advise you to avoid it.

Wassalam.

106535

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 2 anni fa

This is normal. 

Dealing with one's urges when they are inconvenient is also part of the human condition. Unfortunately there is currently no solution to one of the problems of modernity: that biological maturity (puberty) happens before social maturity (at which time one usually marries).

Islamically, the shariah-prescribed options are marriage (regardless of whether it involves traditional social roles or not, what form it takes, etc) or abstinence. 

Marriage: That's between yourself and your family and your personal/social situation. There are other questions here that discuss that which you could look at.

Abstinence: Forewarned is forearmed. Since you know what days will be more challenging, you can explore what sort of interventions help calm your hormones down. Some women find it helpful to exercise more or avoid certain foods around those days (especially chocolate, meat, or animal products - especially given how many hormones are given to animals today). One can also simply try to think about other things.

Fasting doesn't usually seem to have the same effect on women that it seems to on men with respect to calming down one's urgers (in fact many women say it has the opposite effect), but everyone is different.

Ideally, the higher side of the human being should control the animal side, in a way that a horseman controls his steed. In reality, this is often a work in progress for people. But, there is a virtue in trying.

109161

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 anni fa

Bismihi ta'ala

Sex is not everything in a marriage, but it is indeed a primary and very important part of it. Sexual incompetence is grounds for divorce. 

We have numerous narrations and rulings on this topic as well. A man asked Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) about a woman whose husband was incapable of intimacy, and whether she should leave him. The Imam (a.s.) answered, Yes, if she wants to leave him. [al-Tahdhib, vol. 7, p. 431]. 

That being said, in regards to this specific question that has been asked, if there was such a huge age difference between them, why did she get married to him in the first place? Did she or her family not think of these things when they first got married? Can the problem be solved through medication? 

In any case, the wife does have the right to request a divorce if she chooses to do so. 

And Allah knows best. 

108015

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 anni fa

Bismihi ta'ala

If she did ghusl after her sexual climax, and has washed herself, then whatever the case may be after, she considers as pure. 

And Allah knows best. 

94400

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 2 anni fa

I guess not.

However, keep in mind that, for a long time, and often still today, women have had less power (financial power, social power, etc) and so one this is of the main means of leverage women have had in order to get what they want or need. So it is nice to be sympathetic to that.

Also, at least it sounds like you are having a good and regular relationship with each other, which is something to appreciate, especially since it strengthens the marriage, whereas some married couples are not able to have a satisfying conjugal relationship. 

Perhaps some others will offer some advice. :)

107118

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 anni fa

Bismihi ta'ala

As a religion, Islam encourages sexuality and sees sexual relations to not only be healthy and positive, but also religiously required. This is always an important point to remember, because if we compare the Islamic approach to sexuality with that of other religions, we will see how other religions see sex as something immoral, shameful or limited to the least level of intimacy. 

There are many mustahab things related to intimacy between the husband and wife, but also focusing on the personal/spiritual side as well. 

Certain acts that have surfaced in today's society, for the purpose of "spicing up" a relationship is due to a lack of personal connection or failing to have intimacy just by being with the partner. Boundaries of morality and legitimate relationships have turned many people to look for alternatives for sexual arousal. 

As Muslims, our emphasis is not just the physical side, but also the moral and spiritual connection with our partner. Our objective is to elevate our spiritual status and gain closer proximity to God. It is not just to feed our lust at any cost. 

A normal and healthy relationship will enable the partner to have sexual arousal without the need of crossing human moral boundaries. 

If someone needs whipping or physical humiliation to become sexually aroused, then do you really think they have a correct or healthy state of mind?

How can an honourable person have the urge of wanting to inflict pain on someone else for pleasure? That would be considered sickening. However, unfortunately because it something promoted by Western society, it becomes ok and many people do not see the harms of such acts. 

Almighty God has given us dignity, and we must always treat others in a dignified manner. Fulfilling sexual desires is an important thing, but not at the cost of removing our moral state or gaining animal traits. 

It's not just a matter of tying someone, or wearing handcuffs, but more than that. One might say there are different levels of BDSM, and there are acts that do not involve physical pain or humiliation. In such a case, if it is consensual and things are done in a dignified manner, then there would not be an issue. 

Ultimately, when it comes to fulfilling of sexual desires, dignity and respect is always important. 

With prayers for your success. 

101188

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 anni fa

Bismihi ta'ala

Touching something will not break one's wudhu`, unless it is the touching of a dead human body after it gets cold, and before it is washed. 

For anything else, najis or not, just touching it will not break wudhu`. Of course, if it is wet, and your hand gets contaminated with najasah, all you need to do is wash it. 

As for touching something dirty, the same thing, and no, from a shar'i perspective it is not necessary to 'wash' your hands if it is just dirty and not najis. 

And Allah knows best.

106138

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 anni fa

Bismihi ta'ala

In Islam, self-pleasure is forbidden and there are many mental, emotional, moral and physical harms to such practices. 

The husband has a shar'i and moral obligation of physical intimacy with his wife. If he does not do so, he is committing a sin and it will be grounds for divorce.

It is necessary for the husband to realise that physical intimacy is important for both sides, and will strengthen the bond between them. When he neglects the sexual needs of his wife, not only will she not feel valued, her heart will start drifting away from him. 

It is not just a matter of sexual pleasure between the husband and wife, but also to avoid any damaging effects or practices. Besides the fact that it is haram, her masturbating is no solution at all. 

If husband does not change his ways, they should seek intervention and visit a marriage counsellor. 

With prayers for your success. 

78670

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 anni fa

Yes it is permissible.

Wassalam.