Husband

A husband is a male in a marital relationship. The rights and obligations of a husband regarding his spouse and others, and his status in the community and in law, vary between cultures and have varied over time.

108740

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 anni fa

Bismihi ta'ala

If the type of divorce was a khul'i divorce, you are able to return during the 'iddah period, but with a new marriage contract. This means you will need to perform a nikah ceremony, along with its requirements. 

That is the fiqhi answer, but of course it would be highly recommended for both sides to contemplate on what led to the initial divorce, and how healthy it is to rush back in so quickly. Establishing boundaries, putting conditions and understanding what needs to improve on both sides is extremely necessary in order to eliminate previous problems and happily live together.

And Allah knows best. 

106059

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 2 anni fa

When the Qur'an speaks of removing bad feelings in heaven (7:43), it speaks of it for all people in general, not only women. So one can assume that neither men nor women feel bad feelings like resentment or anger or jealousy in heaven.

Jealousy is related to this life because of our restrictions due to our physical bodies and social factors, as well as things such as concerns over lineage, or fear of loss if one's spouse goes to another, but in Paradise, those are no longer considerations since the environment lacks the same restrictions as the material world.

My understanding of verses such as 36:55-57 which talk about spouses enjoying each other's company in Paradise is that it is a general use of the word "azwaj", meaning that human beings in general will be with enjoyable and appropriate partners, not that this is specifically referring to men and their earthly wives.

This is because most human beings have the inclination to unite with another because the human being is incomplete whereas Allah is complete. Therefore in Paradise they would also have the opportunity to unite with others, without the same social or material restrictions that they have here, although of course the greatest pleasure is to be in the presence of Allah.

This is similar to the apparent usage in 4:1 where it speaks of creating the soul and its mate (zawj) in an apparently ungendered fashion, albeit in practice many Muslims, including Yusufali in translation, render this as creating the man and his woman. But the actual language of the Book does not specify this distinction.

So, from this angle, one does not get the sense that specifically a man will be enjoying all the hur al ayns and the woman is bound only to her husband. In fact, that makes no sense because some women marry many times, and some marry no times. Some women also marry men like Yazid who is the last person they would ever see or want to see in Paradise. 

However, inshallah if someone wishes to be reunited with their husband or wife in Paradise, they will be able to do so and enjoy each other's company there. 

In any case, when we discuss the Hereafter, we really just take our best guess based on our understanding and what has been transmitted - none of us can say with entire certainty; what is certain is that we will find out.

94400

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 2 anni fa

I guess not.

However, keep in mind that, for a long time, and often still today, women have had less power (financial power, social power, etc) and so one this is of the main means of leverage women have had in order to get what they want or need. So it is nice to be sympathetic to that.

Also, at least it sounds like you are having a good and regular relationship with each other, which is something to appreciate, especially since it strengthens the marriage, whereas some married couples are not able to have a satisfying conjugal relationship. 

Perhaps some others will offer some advice. :)

107007

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 anni fa

Bismihi ta'ala

This is something that the couple should have outlined prior to their marriage, especially if the husband or the wife does not have any interest in having children. After marriage, although the husband or his mother cannot "force" the wife to have children, she should see this from a different perspective. 

Our religion encourages us to have children, and many of them. There are numerous narrations from Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) that stress on having multiple children, and praises a woman who bears children. Motherhood is the most honourable thing a person can achieve, so what would want a wife to avoid having such a status.

She does not need to be forced. She only needs to look within and realise that it is going to be the greatest thing in her life. 

It will also keep her marriage and strengthen the bond between her and her husband. 

If, for example, she is having trouble with her husband, and she does not know whether her marriage will last or not, so she thinks pregnancy will be a bad choice. Or there is violence in the household, and she does not want to have a baby to be in such an environment. Or other situations that would jeapordise her relationship with her husband, then she must be very frank and straightforward about this. 

Most important for her to know is building a family is the most valuable thing a person can do. 

With prayers for your success. 

107008

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 anni fa

Bismihi ta'ala

Among the obligatory things a husband must do is to financially provide for his wife. This is called nafaqah, and it is wajib upon the husband, irrespective of whether the wife has savings, an external income or work payments. 

What the wife earns outside of nafaqah is hers and she has no obligation to provide for the household. If she wishes to contribute, then that is her choice and out of her own good will. 

The nafaqah that the husband must provide for is the essential payments for a household and a family, based on their status. This would include accommodation, furnishing the house, food, bills, medical bills. 

There is no specific percentage for how much nafaqah needs to amount to, as it would all be based on their individual circumstances. 

Of course, the husband also has the responsibility of providing nafaqah to other dependents, like his children, grandchildren, parents, etc.  

This is the shar'i ruling for nafaqah, but we know that for a marriage to be successful it's not just about money and demanding, because that will ruin a relationship. The husband and wife should aim at accommodating for each other to strengthen their household, religiously, morally and spiritually. They should try to be patient if they go through financial restraints, and work on overcoming it together as one family.

And Allah knows best. 

107099

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 anni fa

It is a sinful act to beat any one, leave aside the wife who is your life partner who should get from you the best treatment. The Prophet (SAWA) said: Best of you are the best to their wives and I am the best to my wives.

Hadeeth states: I wonder from the man who beats his wife while he is more entitled to be beaten. (Biharul Anwaar, volume 103).

(Good believer never beats his wife) as the Hadeeth stated.

If a husband beats his wife and causes reddish ness on her body, he will responsible to a penalty called Diyah which increases with the degree of the beating.

That is apart from the punishment hereafter for beating.

'Real Muslim believes that his wife is a respected human being like him and will never beat her nor hurt her feelings.

'Wassalam.

107118

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 anni fa

Bismihi ta'ala

As a religion, Islam encourages sexuality and sees sexual relations to not only be healthy and positive, but also religiously required. This is always an important point to remember, because if we compare the Islamic approach to sexuality with that of other religions, we will see how other religions see sex as something immoral, shameful or limited to the least level of intimacy. 

There are many mustahab things related to intimacy between the husband and wife, but also focusing on the personal/spiritual side as well. 

Certain acts that have surfaced in today's society, for the purpose of "spicing up" a relationship is due to a lack of personal connection or failing to have intimacy just by being with the partner. Boundaries of morality and legitimate relationships have turned many people to look for alternatives for sexual arousal. 

As Muslims, our emphasis is not just the physical side, but also the moral and spiritual connection with our partner. Our objective is to elevate our spiritual status and gain closer proximity to God. It is not just to feed our lust at any cost. 

A normal and healthy relationship will enable the partner to have sexual arousal without the need of crossing human moral boundaries. 

If someone needs whipping or physical humiliation to become sexually aroused, then do you really think they have a correct or healthy state of mind?

How can an honourable person have the urge of wanting to inflict pain on someone else for pleasure? That would be considered sickening. However, unfortunately because it something promoted by Western society, it becomes ok and many people do not see the harms of such acts. 

Almighty God has given us dignity, and we must always treat others in a dignified manner. Fulfilling sexual desires is an important thing, but not at the cost of removing our moral state or gaining animal traits. 

It's not just a matter of tying someone, or wearing handcuffs, but more than that. One might say there are different levels of BDSM, and there are acts that do not involve physical pain or humiliation. In such a case, if it is consensual and things are done in a dignified manner, then there would not be an issue. 

Ultimately, when it comes to fulfilling of sexual desires, dignity and respect is always important. 

With prayers for your success. 

84749

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 anni fa

It is not permissible according to the obligatory precaution for the husband to drink the milk of his wife, but if he did that , it will not harm his marriage with his wife.

Wassalam.

106138

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 anni fa

Bismihi ta'ala

In Islam, self-pleasure is forbidden and there are many mental, emotional, moral and physical harms to such practices. 

The husband has a shar'i and moral obligation of physical intimacy with his wife. If he does not do so, he is committing a sin and it will be grounds for divorce.

It is necessary for the husband to realise that physical intimacy is important for both sides, and will strengthen the bond between them. When he neglects the sexual needs of his wife, not only will she not feel valued, her heart will start drifting away from him. 

It is not just a matter of sexual pleasure between the husband and wife, but also to avoid any damaging effects or practices. Besides the fact that it is haram, her masturbating is no solution at all. 

If husband does not change his ways, they should seek intervention and visit a marriage counsellor. 

With prayers for your success. 

105437

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 anni fa

She will be in Paradise with the best of them if both of them were in Paradise.

Wassalam.

105438

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 anni fa

It is wrong for her to hurt or annoy or degrade her current husband in any way.

If he is not fulfilling his duties, she can gently and politely remind him with out comparing him with other or hurting his feelings.

Wassalam.

104983

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 anni fa

If you have a concrete evidence that he is non Muslim, there is no marriage bond between you as a Muslim woman and him as non Muslim. When there is no marriage, there will be no question of divorce.
From the time of his becoming non Muslim, the marriage between you and him did end and it became null and void.

After four months and ten days from that date, you will be free to marry a Muslim man if you want.

Wassalam.