It is not allowed at all to cause any type of insult or disrespect to your parents. You should always serve your parents, and not to ask them to work at home.
We should treat and serve our parents with full respect like we treat and serve a king or a queen. Obviously, you will never ask a king or a queen to help with housework.
Wassalam.
Virgin girl does need her father's permission for her marriage if her father is a Muslim and does not reject the marriage for un Islamic reasons. Your father does not need to attend your Nikah but he must agree on it if it is your first marriage.
There are certain cases when this condition becomes void like when you need the marriage to save yourself from sinful act, and your father is refusing the marriage for reasons which are invalid in Islam.
You may want to look on youtube at videos on narcissistic personality disorder. Rages can be a symptom of that. There are coaches on-line that teach you how to protect yourself. I can recommend Dr Ramani, Anna Runkle, and Dr Daniel Fox. Look up the 'grey rock' method. Also be careful that you are not being used emotionally by your mother as a 'flying monkey', or that you are being 'parentified' (i.e. your mother is the child and you are the parent that feels you have to protect her). Not saying that this is happening, but it is something to be aware of.
Sorry to hear that - it can be difficult to find a good spouse, and a family is blessed when someone suitable wishes to marry their child; not everyone has the opportunity to marry a compatible spouse.
In addition to the advice already given, du'a is also good.
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