Change is Within Us - Ramadan 1435/2014

Al-Fudhayl ibn al-Ayyadh was a gangster, a mobster. He would stop people and their caravans and he would strip them away from everything that they had. This was his job, and he had the biggest gay present in that period of time. What was his job? He would stop the caravans and he would strip them away from everything that they had. So people have to be extra cautious to avoid the routes of Al-Fudhayl ibn al-Ayyadh.

One day he was near Iraq, there was a caravan coming from Khurasan and there was a caravan that passed by. He stopped the caravan. The man came out of the caravan. He said, Fudhayl, what do you need?

He said, I need all your money, all your wealth, everything that you have. He said, tayyb, I will bring that to you. So he went. He brought all the money. He took off his clothes, he put it there. He brought all the suitcases, he put it apart, maybe. He said, Fudhayl, leave us. This is everything that we have. He said, Why don't you want me to go and look inside your carriage?

He said, I prefer you don't do that, I've given you everything that you have. So Fudhayl became curious. He went and he opened the carriage and he saw a beautiful young woman sitting in the carriage. He said to him, who is she? He said, she's my daughter.

So Fudhayl took everything. And he sent his spies to the house of this man. He said, Follow this man, see where he's going to go tonight for obvious reasons and no one could say anything to Fudhayl. So they went and found exactly where this man was staying and this man was pleading for mercy.

This man was begging in the middle of the night. When Fudhayl was done, he went to the house of this man. He was going and climbing on the wall. He reached the bedroom of this young woman. Suddenly he looked down in the yard.

He saw an elderly man sitting in his Sajjada (prayer mat) and his musalla praying the night prayers and reciting this Ayat: "alam yani lilladheena amanu, and takhsha'a qulubuhum li Dhikri Allah" (57:16), 'has time not arrived for believers to feel humility in their hearts with the remembrance of Allah'. Fudhayl heard. He was shocked. He became paralyzed. He could not move.

This man repeated the Ayah again, "alam yani..." (57:16) and Fudhayl asked himself for one moment, he said, has time arrived for me or no? And he responded. He said, Bala (means yes in Arabic), yes, that time has arrived. He climbed down from the wall and he ran away. He doesn't know where to go. He can't go back to his people. He can't go back to his gang. He has no place to go. He's reflecting, crying.

So he went, he was sitting in a remote location. He found some people sitting there. He said to them, what are you doing here? They said, we are waiting for a couple of more hours to make sure Fudhayl and his gang have left this route so we can make our way. We're scared of Fudhayl. This man has terrorized so many people. So he said to them: Fudhayl no longer exists. He died. They said, what do you mean? How did he die? He is young. He said yes. He died moments ago.

They said, who are you? He said, I am Fudhayl. Which Fudhayl? Fudhayl ibn al-Ayyadh. You were telling us he died. Now you're telling us. Are you okay? He said yes I'm okay. The Fudhayl that you're scared of, has died. This is a new Fudhayl. Let me take you to your residence. He took them. He took them. He began his process of Tawba [repentance] until he reached where he needs to be.

When a person opens his heart. Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala, glances at our hearts "inna Allaha yandhuru li qulubina wa la yandhuroo yusuharina", Allah does not look at how we look. Allah looks at our hearts. Allah sees through this clothes that we're wearing. Allah looks at our hearts. And Allah looks at the heart of Fudhayl, and He said, you deserve to become one of the students of Ja'far ibn Muhammad Al-Sadiq.

Imam Al-Sadiq died in the year 148 after the Hirjah. Fudhayl Ibn al-Ayyadh was a student for seven or eight years. And when a Imam Ja'far Al-Sadiq died, obviously it was the biggest misery for Fudhayl. They came to him, they said to him, ya Fudhayl, what did you learn from Ja'far al-Sadiq? What did he teach you?

So he summed up what he learned from Imam al-Sadiq. One, he said, Imam al-Sadiq taught me: "kafaa bi-Llahi muhibbah". "Kafaa bi-Llahi muhibbah", Allah has enough for me. Allah has enough to love me. I don't need anyone else to be loved by beside Allah, "Kafaa bi-Llahi muhibbah".