Falling In Love? What Can You Do?

One common objection or concern that you hear from a lot of people when it comes to emotions, feelings and love, people tell you, look, it is not in my hands when you fall in love with someone, when you have certain feelings, you can not control them. It's true. When you have that feeling, you can no longer control it. But how did you end up there?

There are many people these days, especially some youth, you know if they will be very honest, they will come to you and say, what is the problem here? So what? Why are you making such a big deal out of this? Let me be free. Let me enjoy whatever I want to see, why be so conservative and so strict? Let people live freely. This is a common misconception that you hear from many youth, especially some men, some young men, they don not understand why this is harmful.

Just let people be free. It is not like I am stealing from someone. I am not harassing anybody. I am just looking. What kind of damage could I be doing simply by looking? I am not even touching anybody. What is the harm? There are a number of harms and negative consequences that come with not lowering the gaze and scanning and seeing the opposite gender.

Number one, we human beings, when it comes to visual images, there is nothing that stimulates you more than visual images. For example, if you see an advertisement, a product, a product that is being advertised, whether it is clothes or it is that beautiful purse, they are advertising for you, right? The minute you see that visual, something happens in your brain, a part of your brain lights up, you feel this rush of energy and you immediately want to go shopping. If you want to motivate someone to go shopping, do not give them a lecture. You do not need to lecture them for 30 minutes to shop.

Just show them one little picture and they feel the rush to go and shop. Same with food, one visual image of a delicious food will make you salivating and drooling. We human beings are immediately influenced by visual images. When it comes to seeing the opposite gender, it has even a greater effect. Nothing awakens our animalistic desires than visual images. It has a great impact. Hence, the Prophet, sallalahu alayhi wa 'aali, states- it is a poisonous arrow that is shot by the devil, the Prophet is symbolically telling us how dangerous one look can be. Do not say no, this has no harm.

It is this look that is awakening many desires in your heart and we human beings, once a desire is awakened, we follow those desires. In fact, every look that you see in scanning the opposite gender and gazing at the opposite gender, it creates a knot of desire in your heart.

And there are only two ways to untie that knot. The first is to go through that grief and remorse and repent to Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala. That will untie the knot, it will purify the heart. But remember, it goes it takes you through difficulty. And the second way is to follow that desire, because once you have a knot tied in your heart, this annoys you, it makes you feel uncomfortable, it makes you feel desperate.

You want something. So you act upon that desire. And once humans act upon that desire, they fall into sin. It leads to Sin. Do not say this is a harmless, innocuous look. Most of the sins that people commit in society, especially these days with our technology and social media, starts with the eye. It starts with what you see. You have to filter what you see. How did you fall in that feeling? How did you end up in this situation?

No one put you there by force! You allowed your senses, especially your eyes, to be stuck in that situation and now you are suffering from this situation.

I agree with you. Once you are stuck there, you can not really control your heart. That power of love, those feelings, those desires are uncontrollable once you are stuck in them, but what you can control is what leads to these desires. That is something that you have absolutely control over.