Freeing The Butterfly Within 10/12 - 10th Muharram 1433/2011

In the tenth lecture in the "Freeing the Butterfly Within" series, Br. Khalil Jaffer discusses how to raise Fitra-oriented children in segments of 0-7 years, 7-14 years and 14+ years, citing hadiths, examples as well as analogies in relation to the two natures of Fitra and Tabi'ah. Br. Khalil gives practical advice to parents in guiding their children to a Fitra-driven personality.

Sallallahu wa sallama 'alaik wa ya Rasul Allah wa 'ala Ahli Baytik. Sallallahu ya Mawlai wa ibna Mawlai ya Aba 'Abdillah. Ya rahmatallahi al-wasee'a wa bab an-najat il-umma. La'ana Llahu dhalimeen alakum minal awaleena wa akhireen. Ma khaba min tamasska bikum wa ameena man laja'a eelaikum. Fa ya laitana kunna ma'kum sadatee. Fa nafuza fauzan 'adheem. Adham Llahu ujurana wa ujarkum bi musabeena bil Husayn, alayhi assalam. Amma ba'du, faqad qal Allahu tabaraka wa taa'la fi kitabih, wa huwa asdaqul qaa'eleen. Bismillahi, al-rahman, al-Rahim. Fa aqim wajhaka lil-deeni haneefah, Fitrat Allahi allati fatara an-nas 'alayha. La-tabdeela li-khalqillah. Dhalika ad-deenu 'l-qayyim, wa-lakinna akthara an-nasi la ya'lamun (30:30). Salawat ala Muhammad wa aali Muhammad[Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad]

Tonight is the night of 'Ashura. And I do understand that on a night such as this, our hearts only wish to mourn, and to grieve. But we said from the very first night of Muharram that the movement of Sayyid al-Shuhada', alayhim asalam, was to awaken the fitra of insan, to awaken humanity, and it is for this reason that we are discussing a subject that is spiritual in nature and because we still have to complete this discussion within our twelve nights. I will give you the trouble of listening to this discussion again tonight for about half an hour InshaAllah, and then we will come to masa'ib for the night of Ashura.

I would also like to mention that there have been some questions that have been coming to me on this subject, time and again, some questions have been repeated again and again. One question that has been asked to me by at least five to seven people now is what is the relationship of tabee'a and fitra to the nafs and nafs amara and nafs luwama. And there are other such questions as well. Some are simply a request to clarify some statements I made. It may be a statement like a comment I made last night to say that there are individuals who go for Hajj and upon return, because of the exhaustion, because of the hardship they face, because of the crowd and the rush they encounter there, not because they do not love the Ka'ba or they do not regard hajj as important, but because of the hardship, they may consider that they would like to, and that's why I said they say we will go for 'Umra now they don't say we will never go back to Mecca, but with Husayn because of the love and the attraction and obviously it is not an environment where you are obligated to do certain wajibat, there is always that desire to go back. So there is such things where individuals have raised concerns and wanted me to clarify. I will InshaAllah try and clarify all these questions and concerns on the last night when I do a conclusion. If I do it now, we will digress too much, and particularly tonight, because we want to come, cover our discussion very quickly. We will do this in InshaAllah Wednesday night or Thursday night Inshallah. If you can recite a loud salawat 'ala Muhammad wa aali Muhammad [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad]

What we want to discuss tonight is how to raise fitra oriented children or the importance of raising children with fitra. And we wish to base our discussion largely on a very popular hadith that says Alwaladu ameerun sab'a sineen wa 'abdun sab'a sineen wa wazeerun sab'a sineen thumma khallu sabeelu, a child is a prince for seven years, then he is a slave for seven years, then he's a vizeer for seven years, then set him free and let him go. This hadith can largely be applied for boys, as we shall see, but it can be applied for girls as well. And also within this understanding that as human generations change, the ages of maturity change. So this might vary from certain eras to others. It may not exactly be seven years, 14 years, 21 years. But there is these three phases certainly that we need to talk about. I will talk about them in terms of first seven years, next seven years, third seven years, but keep this in mind, it could be three phases.

What the hadith is telling us in relationship to in relation to our discussion on tabee'a and fitra is that in the first phase of your child's life, in the first seven years of your child's life, treat them like a prince, treat them like a king, meaning let them express their tabee'a freely. Let them enjoy and let them command and let them do as they please, initially. You are their slave. Then wa 'abdun sab'a sineen. In the next phase, they become your servant, you become the master, now you traine them, now you discipline them, now you teach them with your fitra how to reign in their tabee'a. And then in the third phase, they become your vizeer. That is now a stage that you may compare to an internship or a residency, just like someone who studies medicine and wishes to be a doctor. During this third phase, you now let them show that they can reign their tabee'a with their own fitra and you are still there besides them to guide them so that as and when they forget and the slip, you once again remind them. But you now treat them as a vizeer. In other words, you consult them, you ask them for advice, not because you need their advice, but you want to see whether their thought process, their understanding, their outlook on life is now based on the fitra. Thereafter thumma khalu sabeelahu, thereafter you have done your task, now you set them free, now you let them become independent, you let them initiate their own family so that they can have their own children and start the cycle again.

The obvious question that comes to mind first is this first phase, when they are princes and when they are kings, why leave them to express their tabee'a so freely? Why allow tabee'a to take strong roots? Why not force them to follow fitra from the time they are born? Why even give tabee'a a chance to take a firm foothold. Now, we have already spoken about the formation of the ego and we said that enlightenment is not the result of not having an ego, but it is the result of shattering the ego. And I give an example of how a child has difficulty adjusting in society if they grow up without any sense of possession or any sense of belonging.

In the same way of what we wish to see tonight is that it is necessary for tabee'a to take a firm foothold and a very firm foothold before fitra can do its work, and I will give you an example of this. We have talked about the caterpillar and we talked briefly about how in its initial stages for the first two, three weeks, it just eats like crazy until its own body mass multiplies thousands of times. It is by doing that kind of an indulgence in tabee'a that this caterpillar's shell is hard enough so that when it pushes with force to allow its wings to grow that cocoon, that chrysalis has the ability to withstand the force of that pushing.

In the same manner tabee'a has to be strong enough to withstand the pushing of fitra so that the wings can emerge when it is right rather than the wings collapsing or not emerging fully. To put it differently, tabee'a is the slate on which the pen of fitra will write. The pen of fitra has a very sharp nib. If tabee'a is weak or frail, if it is like a parchment or a paper, when the pen of fitra writes, it will rip the paper of tabee'a. But if tabee'a becomes rock solid and then you inscribe with the pen of fitra on the rock of tabee'a, that will stay forever. And we will explain this again.

Archaeologists have found drawings in caves, where in the drawing even the eyelashes of the drawings of that creature or that person have been preserved for thousands of years, but papers of parchment, they have to use chemicals to preserve it quickly fades away, it quickly wears out. So tabee'a has to take a strong route before fitra can write. At the same time, while we allow our young children in this first phase to express their tabee'a, we also have to ensure that we do not do anything that will prevent fitra from emerging when the time is right. And the biggest thing that we need to be careful about, is that this child should not grow up to become a fearful person, should not become a creature who is constantly afraid of others and what people will think and what people will see, this child has to grow to be self-confident. This child has to grow to be concerned about what Allah will say before thinking about what people will say. This is where we need to be careful when we are raising the child. So we don't really need to impose fitra, we just need to make sure we don't interfere in the process, that natural process that Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala has placed in a child. As an example, we compared fitra as a rider and tabee'a as a mount, as a wild horse that needs to be tamed and reined in by fitra. Now, when a horse is very young, when it is called a foal, when it is less than one year old, it is still very weak. At that point, you cannot describe it as a wild horse. If you try and tame a foal, it will be a very weak creature. When it grows up and becomes a horse, it will not be able to gallop with speed, it will not have zeal, it will not have passion, it will not have force. There will be no point in reining it because there is nothing that needs to be reigned. You have to allow it to become a horse, you have to allow its animal instinct and wildness to emerge thereafter you tame it and you rein it in. It is in this same manner that you allow tabee'a to show itself with full confidence, without any fear, and then you bring in fitra and you use fitra to inscribe on the tablet of tabee'a.

The second phase is necessary. Wa 'abdun saba'a sineen because hopefully the parent or the guardian who is raising this child is already fitra oriented. So because the child does not have the maturity to understand fitra and what is fitra and how to make those decisions and what does Allah expect from me. Therefore, in this second phase, the child is an 'abd is a servant, is a slave because you are the child's fitra. Your fitra will write upon the child's tabee'a. Until another seven years have passed, at which point the child's own fitra can take the reins. It is almost as if the child is on the horse, but you are holding the reins. You are walking beside the child and your fitra is inscribing on the child's tabee'a. So it is important that you teach the child in this second phase that even though they have this animal instinct, they should never rebel against their fitra because fitra at that point is still green, it is still not developed. Fitra grows in the shell of tabee'a, it needs tabee'a in order to grow. So in that analogy of the rider and the mount, tabee'a is still determining movement, but fitra is attempting to define the direction of that movement.

As an example in that second phase, in the first phase, your child just plays all day. In the second phase, when your child is playing, you don't stop them from playing. Even if that play is a waste of time, they might be playing computer games. Computer games is a waste of life, isn't it? All you're doing is shooting pixels. It might give you some pleasure, but it is not for anyone who is concerned with spiritual evolution. But you don't stop your child from playing. You let them play. What you do is when it is time for salat, they must stop playing. So you introduce fitra into that lifestyle of tabee'a so that they know their priorities, that when you have to choose fitra must always come first. They are watching the World Cup, it is the World Cup finals. If you have trained them right when it is time for salat, it will stop. They might say, well, record it and will come back and watch it, that is fine, but it never takes precedence.

Let's take another example, your child, your young child has a saving box, a piggy bank, right. Putting coins in is a very pleasurable to insan because it is the same pleasure as you get when you deposit a check in the bank or when you see your paycheck. But taking the coins out of the savings box is very painful. Unless you make provisions from before and you teach the child that every time you have a dollar, you will put 10 cents in charity and 90 cents here. Now you are reigning tabee'a with fitra. So you do not deny the child what tabee'a wants, you simply use your fitra to guide the child.

Thereafter you come to the third phase. At this point, trying to force the child with your fitra in your understanding is pointless. It may even be dangerous because at this point in the example we gave yesterday, when fitra is trying to be born and a tabee'a oriented leader is trying to stop it from emerging, it is like trying to stop a fetus from being born in the same manner, trying to deny your child to express his own fitra is trying to deny the fetus from being born. So you now let him decide. What you do is you encourage him to make decisions based on fitra, but you let his own fitra guide him.

At this point now in the third phase, which in our breakdown of age would be from the ages 14 or 15, 16 onwards, you cannot expect unquestioning obedience from that child. Instead, you can guide them by asking the right questions. And this is where we as men always fail because we see ourselves as the head of the family, so we need to be obeyed. Therefore, we attempt to force the child, you do it because I said so, never mind how I raised you, but because I said so. Women, on the other hand, learn that this is not the way to get what you want. They know that when you want to get something, you don't use force, there is a way to get it. For example, many times our wives know that we like to feel good, that I am the head of the family and I make decisions right. Some of us may even have a sign at home that says I'm the boss of this house and I have my wife's permission to say so. OK, but women know this, that you as a man want to feel good about being the head of the family. That is why your wife, if she is clever, she will never tell you, do this, do that, I want this, I want that. She will put it as a question. Do you think this is a good idea? She plants the idea in you, it becomes your idea, you adopt it now when you say let's do this, you think it's your idea, you feel good, you feel empowered, you feel you have made the decision. She still gets what she wants, but this is wisdom. Your child has to be taught the same way, instead of forcing your child and saying, don't do this, don't do that, suggest, ask a question, plant an idea.

The most resilient virus is an idea, if you plant an idea in someone's mind, even if they disagree, they will never be able to remove that idea from their mind, it will stay there. So if you keep planting the right ideas in your child's mind, then even after they leave home, they are fitra will guide them because you have planted the seeds of fitra and not the seeds of tabee'a.

Once your child reaches this third phase, well, before that, what we want to say is that this third stage of being a vizeer is the same as that first stage of being a king or a prince. The difference, though, is that when they were a prince they used to order and command. Now they will not order you and command you, but they will simply advise you, they are your second in command. Once your child has crossed to this third phase, thumma khallu sabeelahu. Now let them go, now let them be independent, now give them room, do not smother them, give them some some space, let them have the independence to feel confident and start their own family. This is very tricky. We need to know when the caterpillar has developed its wings and it is time to let it leave the chrysalis, it is time to let it leave the nest as opposed to continue trying to dominate it and as I said, it doesn't have to be 21 years. It will depend on the generation, it will depend on the place and the country you live, it will depend on the era you live, what kind of maturity you have. We all know that our grandmothers got married when they were 15 and 16 years old. By the time they were 18, they had children they were running a family. Our grandfathers, when they were 18, they were already married, had children they were running businesses, looking after a family. Today's 18 year old only knows how to play on the Xbox, he does not have maturity, he does not have a sense of responsibility. You have to constantly tell him, take out the garbage, do this, do that. Partly, it is our fault how we raise them. We treat them like kids until we realize he's already an adult. Partly it is also the system we live in because by the grace of Allah, we have an education system where children continue to study until much into even past teenage, which is not a bad thing, but because of that, we treat them again as being dependents, children, irresponsible until they've at least finished their initial university education, and then we start seeing that now they're able to hold a job, they're independent, they're more mature. But the timing is tricky, it is something that we need to think about.

To put it again, as an example, within an analogy, raising a child is like flying a kite. Initially, when you want to fly a kite, you tie a string to the kite. You have to run with the kite because the kite is on the ground, it doesn't take off, it doesn't rise, it doesn't fly, it doesn't have anything to show, you run with it. As you run with it, it begins to take flight. Once it takes flight, you don't have to keep running with it, but there is a string attached to you. You continue holding onto the string, that kite is still attached to you. Now, for those of you who may have flown kites, I don't know if you I'm sure those of you who are immigrants, you've all flown a kite, OK, as you're flying the kite, especially if you're from India or Afghanistan, I'm sure you've flown a kite. So as the kite is flying, the string is attached. Now, there is an arch to flying the kite. Sometimes you have to pull the string and then sometimes you have to let go of it. You can't keep pulling and you can't keep letting go. You pull, you let go, you pull, you let go. But as it goes higher, you have to keep releasing the string and allowing it more room and allowing it more freedom.

There comes a point where the string runs out. At that point, you have only two choices. You either keep holding onto the string, in which case the kite will come crashing down, or you let the kite go and allow it to soar as high as it can fly. Raising the child is like that. Once it takes off, you don't have to keep running with it. Now you have given your fitra into its tabee'a. Now let it's fitra guided, but you hold onto it, you consult, you advise you pull sometimes, you let go sometimes you pull. When you see he has fully developed, now at that point let go of the string so that he rises to his full potential.

You may have heard of this poet, Kahlil Gibran. His actual name was Khalil Jibran. He was Christian, Lebanese, American. He died a long time, 1931 or so. He is very famous for his book called The Prophet. The Prophet is a fictitious work of poetry with a lot of philosophical themes in it. And in this work, at one point he talks about children and he uses a superb analogy. The whole book itself is amazing and you can find it actually on the Internet, if you just search the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, you'll find it. He gives this beautiful analogy where God is the archer, you, the parent, are the bow, in the hand of the archer, and the arrow that flies through the bow is your child. So the archer uses you the bow to release arrows into the future. Now look at the words he says. He says, you are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and he bends you with his might that his arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archers hand before gladness, for even as he loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable. Just as God loves your child, that flies, he loves you if you are stable, if you are fitra oriented.

Now, I don't know if any of you have ever tried archery. Try it sometimes. When you hold the bow in your hand and you string it with the arrow, when you pull the arrow back, if you try to release the arrow by pulling the arrow and then letting go of it, it will not go. It will, in fact, hurt you, it might even leave a welt on your hand. The arch to it is that you hold the bow, you pull the string, and then you very slowly release your fingers, you don't pull, you just release your fingers. And when the time is right, when you have left the arrow just right, it slowly slips out of your hand and flies. And the more smoothly you can do this, the better the flight of that arrow to its target. In other words, it is not for you to determine where your child will go, it is for Allah. If you submit to Allah as a parent the way a bow submits in the hands of the archer, the arrow will find Allah, it will find its mark, its fitra will guide it. But it is when the bow has its own will that is against the will of the archer, and the bow wants to do something other than what the archer wants to do. That is where the arrow suffers. Your child suffers and does not find Allah and becomes tabee'a oriented because you are standing between the arrow and the archer.

So let's come back to the second phase. When a child, this would be now, yeah, around the age of 14, that would be now the third phase, the age of 14, is also interesting because at that point, for boys, that is around the time when they attained puberty as well, that is the time of their bulugh, that is the time when they attend physical maturity as well. So up until this point, they are tabee'a was largely driven by some limited pleasures like food, for example, or playing games and so on, but now they're becoming an adult. All the possible tabee'a needs are emerging in them. So the mount now will show its full force. That is why it is important that by the time they get to that age, you have planted the right seeds of fitra that will now guide it. While tabee'a will gallop for survival and for the fulfillment of its physical needs, fitra discovers the world and finds its purpose. Think about this for a moment. If you have a horse and you have reined it and you have tamed it and trained it properly, while the horse gallops with full speed, only because it is a physical need, because that's what it does, it does not know where you're going or why you are going, it is only doing what it is meant to do. You the rider that sits on it, you are the one who sees the world, you are the one who discovers the place, you are the one who enjoys the scenery, you are the one ho knows the destination you're going to. The horse does not know, it is simply your mount. In the same way, if your fitra is in place, your tabee'a will find its career, you tabee'a will fulfill its physical needs, your tabee'a will eat and marry, your tabee'a will procreate, your tabee'a will find new careers, your tabee'a will travel and see the world. But what will really gain experience? What will really evolve is your fitra.

It is your fitra, your soul that will evolve because your fitra is the one that is the rider, that is the one that will take all those experiences of career, of work, of traveling, of migrating, of marriage, of children and learn from that and evolve spiritually. That is why it is so important that when tabee'a erupts with full force, once your child has matured physically, fitra has to be in place the horse must not run wild, it will not go anywhere meaningful. It will just wander around aimlessly, unless there is a rider and there is a rein and it takes it to a purposeful direction. Fitra will not be satisfied with simply this world. It will seek something loftier. And when he does that, it will take tabee'a with it, it will soar with it, it will lift the whole body, just like we said, a butterfly lifts the worm with it and takes it. The wings of a bird takes the body of the bird with it. And because it has fitra, it will see that this world is just a glass bead, it is not the real gem. So it will seek something loftier than what its tabee'a seeks.

The if the fitra is asleep, then I become a rider who only wants what the horse wants. But if my fitra is awake then now there is something human, the ride the mount is simply a means, the rider is awake, the rider seeks something loftier than just physical needs. Physical needs are then not done or met simply because it is an animal instinct within me, but they are done with purpose, they are done with meaning. The constant preoccupation of the rider is the evolution of the soul, the metamorphosis, the race against time for the wings to emerge, not just to fulfill a need because it is a need. So if it is my career tabee'a wants to be a doctor because there is lots of money in it, fitra wants to also be a doctor, but to save lives.

There is a more noble profession than being a doctor, and that is being a teacher. Because the prophets and the anbiya' were teachers, there is no profession on this Earth that is more noble than that of a teacher from an Islamic perspective. But when tabee'a wants to be a teacher, it wants to be a teacher because there is summer vacations and there is. And there is what else? Let me see, traveling teachers would disagree, however, and I know we have many teachers in the community. So when tabee'a wants to be a teacher, it says be a teacher, you get summer holidays and you get to travel. When fitra wants to be a teacher, it says be a teacher, so you can make a difference in people's lives, so that you can not just cure people's health and physical and body, but you can cure their souls. You see something as simple as this, we said tabee'a and fitra and complement each other, you can be a plumber, be a doctor, be a pilot, be a journalist, do whatever you want, but find a fitra motive for it, don't find a tabee'a motive for it.

In the first seven years of a child, there is purity, this purity should not be interfered with by the parent. That is why it is important, we said, for the parents to be fitra oriented. We mentioned the hadith a couple of nights ago from Rasul Allah, sallallahu alayhi wa aali wa sallam [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad allahooma] that he said, Kulluma malauldhee ulado 'ala fitratu Islam, every child that is born on this earth is born based on fitra. It is the parents who interfere in this vertical movement, they come in horizontally and distort the progression of the child. So it is important to keep that purity in the first seven years. In the first seven years, a child is very pure. It is after this first phase, in the second phase that they learn rivalry, that they learn deceit, that they learn to be greedy, that they learn envy, that the learn jealousy, that they learn to lie, that they learn to hold a grudge, that they learn this idea that you are bad, I am good, I will not forgive you.

Look at children in the first phase, they will fight within minutes they make up, they start playing again. We say to ourselves as well, right when little children are playing, don't interfere as parents, let them fight, they will make up, they will play a fight few minutes, they are playing again. If only we had been like that as adults. But we cannot because we are egoically driven. We need that fight in our mind as a drama that we can play again and again because it is comforting for our ego to know that I was oppressed, wrong was done to me and I need to be avenged. So we keep doing that again and again and again in our minds. The ego is not so solid, not so insecure in the first phase, and then it starts emerging more so in the second.

So, wa 'abdun saba'a sineen, that second phase, when your child is a servant, that servitude is good, provided the person upbringing the child, the parent or the guardian is fitra oriented. That means the parent also obeys Allah and is concerned about what is a Allah's opinion on this matter. And as we said, at this point, the child's tabee'a is being reined in by the parents fitra and not by their own fitra. And if the parent is fitra oriented, then obedience to someone who is fitra oriented is the same as obedience to Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala.

We said in the third stage, when you give the child free rein to express their own fitra and allow their fitra to determine how they will use their tabee'a. We said this is like an internship or a residency, but during an internship or a residency, that intern also needs a doctor besides him who constantly guides him. That is why you need a parent who is fitra oriented. Now, not all of us may be a fitra oriented. Some of us may be still trying to go that way, some of us may never hear about this.

This is why we need teachers, this is why you need to take your child to the madrassa, this is why we need 'alims. But we need to teach our children to be comfortable around 'alims. We teach our children to admire and look up to movie stars, but we don't do that with scholars and 'alims, they are afraid of them, they're intimidated. And I do understand that sometimes the fault is from the 'alim's side, because there may be 'alams who want to keep the distance because they see that as a way in which they keep their respect and honor.

So there may be somebody out there, I don't know, who might say, you know, kiss my hand and then go away. But many of the 'ulama' are not like that. It is like the police in our land, we teach our children to like the police, we teach them to be comfortable with the police. The police try to befriend them. They go to schools, they talk to the children so that the children love them, the children look up to them, the children admire them, and through that, they will obey the law. They will also want to become law abiding citizens and possibly also law enforcement officers. But there are many parts in the world where the police symbolizes something corrupt and children are taught to be afraid of the police because in those countries, if you look at the police and he sees you looking at him, he'll arrest you. Why are you looking at me? Many of us are immigrants, you know what I'm talking about.

So we must not train our children in such a way that they are even afraid to look at the 'alim, because you might look at me and say, why were you looking at me? We must teach them so that they are very comfortable with them, that if we are not fitra oriented, they become their mentors, they become their role models. But we must provide every avenue, every opportunity to our children to get that opportunity to be fitra oriented, whether it is sending them to an Islamic school, whether it is making provisions for such schools to exist, whether it is having sending them to the madrassa or whether it is bringing them to the mosque where they are constantly in touch with that which is sacred and fitra oriented.

So as we said that at the young age, a child does not need interference. You don't have to force fitra into a child who is less than seven years old. You just have to ensure that you don't interfere in the process, that you look out for the warning signs, that you don't make them fearful, you keep them with self-confidence. It is like the gauge in your car. You just look out for the warning signs. When the gauge in your car start saying service engine, soon you start. You need to start thinking about doing something about it. If you keep leaving it and leaving it and ignoring the problem gets bigger and bigger, they could come a time where you could lose the car altogether. All right.

So when the first time your child says a lie, the first time your child tries to take something that is not his or hers or tries to steal, that does not mean you come down on them like a ton of bricks. That is simply a warning sign. That doesn't mean your whole engine is collapse. No, they are tabee'a has not yet gotten used to being reined in by fitra. But you watch for these signs and then you use love and care to tend for that and to help them. But timing is very important that the child should not have this anxiety and fear.

Some of the 'ulama even give this example that in the days of Rasul Allah, sallallahu alayhi wa aali wa sallam. [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad] Imam al-Hassan and Imam al-Husayn would run into the mosque and sometimes when the Messenger of Allah, peace be on him and his family, was praying they would come and sit on his back, or sometimes when he was in the pulpit they would come and both Shi' a and Sunni scholars have reported this, that sometimes they would run up to him and Rasul Allah would carry them on the mimbar on his chest so that the people so that their legs would be dangling from his chest and the people sitting right at the back of the mosque could see the ankles of al-Hassan and al-Husayn while the Prophet was in the mimbar.

Now we understand that these are ma'soom and from our aqeeda perspective, they are not doing this in the sense that any child would do. There is some ma'rifa. Some of the Ulama have even said that it was not happening all the time, it may have happened only once to show that salat is fiqh, but imamat is aqeeda. Aqeeda takes precedence over fiqh as an example, right?

But but these 'ulama also say that even if al-Hassan and al-Husayn were not ma'soom, even if they did not have ma'rifa, Rasul Allah would still not have stopped them. Why? Because if you stop the child at that age from expressing freely his self-confidence, you make him fearful. That is where you introduce shirk. That is where polytheism comes in, fearing others besides Allah. What will people think? What will people say from that young age? From the time they are young, we start making them fearful about what people think, what people say, whereas we need to think about this a little bit.

This is not to say that we let our children run wild, inconvenience others, make noise, bounce off the walls and just disturb others, right. It is true that it takes a village to raise a child, but typically you need the consent of the villagers so you cannot do this unilaterally and impose your child on others and say, my child is learning to solidify his tabee'a, so he's just going to do what he wants.

If your child is causing inconvenience to people, for example, in the Masjid or whatever, you can remove the child from that position not to inconvenience others, but to do that rather than scaring the child, making him fearful, scolding him, constantly punishing him, don't do this, don't do that all the time. This makes the child fearful because the child is not mature enough to understand, fitra and tabee'a and what is the ihtiram of salat. What is the ihtiram of Masjid. They cannot understand this. The only thing they can understand is be afraid of people, people don't like it, what will people say? That's all they can comprehend. So it is important that we don't instill fear in them. If we can make sure that they do not become fearful, greedy, attached and afraid of people, then we set a fitra a tabee'a base that is smooth on which fitra can write very clearly.

To put it differently a young child needs to learn the meaning of la ilaha. It needs to create a tablet a tabee'a base of la ilaha that there is no other god. And then when this child attends maturity and puberty and starts understanding fitra, then the pen of fitra will write on it illa Allah. We we hinted at this a couple of nights back. We said Allah is always with you. He is always attached to you. You do not need to find Allah, when was Allah absent or lost or missing that you need to find him?

The problem is the attachments that are blocking us between us and Allah that sit between us and Allah, you simply remove these veils. So when you raise a child without fear of other than Allah, then you have paved the way, you have taught him la Ilaha, there is no other god, there is none other to be feared, there is none other to be adored. And then fitra will write Illa Allah. It is the same with addictions, you remove addictions, and then what remains is the love and the addiction to Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala.

If this is not done, then the child will grow up to be a child of contradictions. The child will become pretentious, the child will become complicated in its thought process. The child will become hypocritical. He will do things only to please you. But behind the scenes, he will do something else. He will pray salat when you are at home. But when you are not at home, he will not pray salat. She will wear hijab when she is leaving the house. But once she goes to school, she will remove her hijab because she is doing it under compulsion, under force. She is constantly or he is constantly making decisions based on what people think, what my parents think, never thinking what does Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala think?

So we must ensure that we do not allow our children to hide their true nature and their true feelings. We create an atmosphere where they can express this freely and then we plant the seeds of fitra or put it differently. Do not stop those buds from blooming. Allow the sapling to come out before you put the sticks to guide it. When a plant is growing, sometimes we put some sticks besides it to guide the growth in the direction of the plant. But you do not put it while it is still a seed because you don't know how and where it is going to come out from. So you do not impose fitra and rules and restrictions. That is why the first seven years they are princes.

You allow that sapling to come out once it starts showing growth and then when you see it is not growing in the right direction, then you put in those sticks to guide it, to give it some direction. Or to give you another analogy that we will all understand, even our children will understand. We put braces on our children's teeth, but we do it after the teeth come out. We do not start putting things before the teeth come out.

Nothing will come out. If you do that, you allow the teeth to come out and then when they start showing they are misaligned, that's when you bring in those braces. Those braces are painful, they are difficult, so they tell me, OK, but you do that, you let them go through the pain and the discipline of fitra after you start seeing some misalignment. So timing is critical. If you put it too soon, you will not get anything.

If you put it too late, it is even harder and even more painful. That is why raising the child can be tricky if you are not constantly keeping your eye on when is the right time to introduce fitra in this child. It is important not to let, as I said, the buds drop off before they even start blooming. Particularly at home, what we do is when the child is at home, when they are under seven years of age, we constantly tell them, don't run, don't shout, don't talk, don't do this, don't do that. We try and suppress their needs to express tabee'a.

When we bring them out to public, we don't do anything. We let them run wild. And then after they're seven years old, when we need to train them, we do the opposite. At home, we don't tell them anything. And in public we scold them and embarrass them in front of others. This is because we do not understand that process. It actually has to be the other way around.

So allow your child to show his feelings, let him express tabee'a, let him show his attachment, even if it is attachment to the world, and then guide him. When the child is growing, particularly after the first phase, they want fitra, they want there tabee'a to be guided by fitra, they want discipline, they want structure, they want someone to guide them, not with scolding, but with love. Now in time, the issue of security is going to come up. When a child is young, they adore you, you are everything, you are like god to them. They believe that you, the parent, are the most famous person in the world, you are the strongest, you are the bravest, you are the best, there is no one better than you. But as they grow up, they begin to realize that you are human like them. The older, the greater, the more they realize that my parents are not as intelligent or as strong or as famous or as secure, that they also feel pain the way I do.

And this can be a very humbling and vulnerable moment for a child even after they grow up the first time. Remember the time, the first time you left home, when you went overseas for studies or you left home or you simply were away from family for a while? It was a moment you felt vulnerable, suddenly you felt you were on your own, no one really cares about you, isn't it? There is no security except from Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala.

So as parents, we provide that security, and if we do the right job with fitra when the time is right, if we have taken the time to raise children who are rooted in religion, who are rooted in fitra, then when the time is right and we are old and we are senile and we cannot be that illusory sense of security for them, we cannot because when they are very young, they have the pacifier, they have the blanket, they have the milk bottle, that is their sense of security.

There is you there sense of security as they wean out of this, my home, my family, my parents, they will look for another source of security. If we train them right and we make them fitra rooted, fitra based, fitra driven, then they will automatically now look for something stronger, something that does not grow old, something that does not grow frail, and that will be Allah, Subhana Wa ta'ala.

But if we have never sent our child to the madrassa, if we have never made religion an important part of our life, what will replace that sense of security? That is where they will seek addictions that is where they will seek, seek other things that will never satisfy them and run from pillar to post.

So again, when your child is in the first phase under seven years, he is like a little fish, like a goldfish in a pond. Don't try to keep scaring him and telling him there is a big ocean out there that you're going to have to swim in. Let him enjoy the pond while he's there. When he is big enough and realizes that this pond is constricting me, it is holding me back from freedom he or she herself will want to leave that pond and swim into the river or into the ocean.

During the seven years of servitude, now the second phase, wa 'abdun saba'a sineen. If we have given them consistent values and consistent messages of fitra, then tabee'a will learn that it's happiness only comes from obeying fitra. And every time it disobeys, its fitra, that child will be unhappy, that child will feel a sense of guilt that I need to go back and act based on my tabee'a, because it wants to be reined in. And that is where this issue of rewarding your child, praising them when they do something good and showing concern when they do something wrong or even having consequences for it. And by consequences, I don't mean physical abuse. I mean whatever system or whatever methods may be popular in our culture, whether it is a time out, whether it is a reduction in the allowances or pocket money, whatever it is.

But you train your child during the seven years of 'ubudeeya. That whenever you follow fitra, life is good, you will be happy, whenever you give in to tabee'a, something happens that brings in unhappiness. So they will always associate this. This will be inscribed in their psyche that when I follow fitra, I am happy. So we said that after they crossed this age of 14 or 15, now wa wazeeron saba'a sineen, now they are this vizeer that you consult, that you advise.

So based on this, I am coming to the conclusion. I just want to briefly mention here the issue of knowledge, how we deny our child fitra sometimes. We know by now that denying denying our child fitra is wrong and that giving them this opportunity for their fitra to emerge is the greatest wealth you can ever give them, even more important than giving them education. So I want you to think about how you guide your children in matters of career when they're thinking about taking a career. Think about the questions you ask them. Remember what I said, the most resilient virus is an idea. The kind of questions you ask is planting those ideas before you ask your child this career you want to do.

How much money will you make? How much will it cost to do this? What kind of a work will you do when you do this? Will you have to leave home or stay with us? Before you ask these questions, ask them how does this affect your hereafter? How will you help humanity with this career? How will you help Islam with this career? Once you have put these ideas in your mind. Now let your child choose the career he wants, whether he chooses to be a plumber or a doctor or a journalist or a pilot or whatever he chooses to be, he will nurture that idea himself, his fitra will nurture it, and somehow he will find a way to use any career in any profession to serve Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala and to find him through serving Allah's creation and humanity.

So this is, again, very important to teach your children that their greatest asset is their fitra, this inner given God given consciousness that speaks to them whenever they do something wrong, this must never be allowed to die. And as long as this is alive, it will give them courage. Again, I'm coming to a conclusion, but you will remember in the early lectures we said that fitra courageous, fitra is not afraid of death. Tabee'a, it fights for survival.

Tabee'a is a coward, tabee'a flees from pain, so tabee'a lacks courage. So, as I said, when your child is growing up in the initial years, the reason why you don't instill in them fear of people is because you want them to be courageous, you want them to be self-confident. Now, look at how this shows itself. When you raise a child who is more connected to the unlimited source Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala and takes energy from their versus raising a child who takes his energy and strength from society and from people.

And I gave this example this morning, actually, when I was talking to some children at the school here. That sometimes we raise a child who might wear hijab, but when she goes out, she is ashamed, she is thinking everyone else around me is not wearing what will people think? This is fear of what people think. The problem is in the earlier ages when she was still very young. The fear of people was stronger in her than the fear of Allah.

Or take another example that I give. In summer we all go for picnics, then we go to a park. When it is time for salat, we ourselves are ashamed to pray salat in public because people will look at us and laugh at us. So we wait and go home and pray late and hide in our room so that people may not see us. When we do that, how do we expect our children to have courage? We must be fitra oriented.

When I worry more about what Allah says, when I am not ashamed of what I practice because I get satisfaction and peace and I'm connected to Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala, then my child sees that and learns from that and also becomes courageous. OK, so this is very important. We do not have to be worried constantly about what people think. You go to the park sometimes you see people in the park doing tai chi and doing yoga and do you laugh at them?

You might look at them curiously and move on. So the ego gives you this impression, everyone is looking at me, everyone is. In reality, those people, after five minutes are not even looking at you, are thinking about you. But because we have been raised fearful, that is why our fitra is weak. We never have the courage to say the right thing, to do the right thing, to stand up for the right values, to stand up for our faith, to stand up for what we believe in.

Because there is that tabee'a, that fear, that fleeing from pain, that mode of survival. And if we don't do this, if we don't fix this and raise our children to be fearless, then it will also come back and bite us. As they grow older, they will be embarrassed of us. At one point, we were their heroes, at one point they looked up to us. Now, when their friends are around, they'll tell us, Mom, Dad, please go away. You're going to embarrass me. I don't want you near me. They're ashamed of you because of how we have raised them. They are more concerned about what my friends think, not about what Allah of thinks.

But if you have raised them correctly, if they are fitra oriented, they will proudly introduce you to their friends and said, this is my father, because they know if this is a true friend, they will be as proud to know my father is they are to know me. It doesn't matter what my father is like, whether my father is handicapped, whether my father is even intellectually disabled, I will still proudly introduce him because I know that he is my father and that I come from him and that I am rooted from Allah. My sense of pride, my sense of courage, my sense of esteem comes from Allah, not from people.

And then this goes further than when I have a job as well. I am constantly worried. What will my boss say? What will people at work think if I tell them I'm going to pray? What will my boss say if I say I can't go for lunch because you're going to have alcohol at the table, for example. Right. And then when I retire, when I'm 60, 70 years old and I'm sitting alone at home and I'm thinking, did it really matter? When I was 20, 30 years old, I was so afraid of my boss. Where is that boss now? He is dead or he himself is now an old man. How much I gave up of my religion for the sake of other ordinary human beings like me, who at the end of the day have no value? OK, who are inconsequential? What is left now is only me and Allah, I now have to answer to Allah for all those moments when I did not have the courage to stand up for the truth. Why? Because I was driven by tabee'a and I was not driven by fitra.

So where do we draw energy from, where we draw power from, where we draw courage from is important. We must teach our children to draw it from fitra and not from tabee'a. And that is why Allah is in the Qur'an. In Suratul Ma'eeda chapter five, verse 54 one, Wala ya khafuna lauma tal'emin (5:54), that those who are truly faithful, they do not fear the blame of anyone who blames them, meaning if they know that what they are doing is for Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala, then they are not concerned with others.

What others think, first and foremost, what does Allah think? And this is the principle of fitra. Every other fear for other than Allah is rooted in the fear of death, in reality, whether it is death of the ego or death of the physical body and fitra transcends the fear of death. So we stop here for tonight, InshaAllah. Tomorrow night, as you know, being Sham al-Ghareeba, there is just Mas'ib, Inshallah. We will continue with this discussion then, InshaAllah, on Wednesday night, if you can recite salawat 'ala Muhammad wa aali Muhammad [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad] one more salawat [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad] [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad]

Lailat Ashura, the night that we have been waiting for. Lailat al-'Aza', lailat al-museeba. This morning, the 9th of Muharram is known as Ta'su'a. Ibn Ziyad was sending troops after troops to Karbala. And there were numerous letters that were being exchanged by 'Umar ibn al-Sa'ad in Karbala with ibne Ziyad in Kufa. 'Umar ibn Sa'ad knew who Husayn was. He therefore did not want to kill him if he could get the world and the power he wanted and still get away without killing Husayn, it was only when he had to choose between the world and the hereafter that he decided he will take the world.

On the 9th of Muharrem ibn Ziyad sent his final troop to Karbala with the most wretched men of the time known as Shimr Ibn al-Jaushin. When Shimr came to Karbala on the 9th of Muharram, he came midday. He brought a letter from ibn Ziyad that said to 'Umar ibn Sa'ad that I am fed up with your attempts to delay fighting Husayn, you must therefore immediately fight Husayn unless he surrenders and comes to me and pledges allegiance to Yazeed immediately.

And if you cannot do this, then you must hand over the power of the entire army to Shimr. Shimr was second in command after 'Umar ibn Sa'ad. When 'Umar ibn Sa'ad saw this letter, that is when he said to Shimr, I will kill Husayn, but I will not let you take this army. This was his greed. So they formed a small army that immediately came to the khaiyam of the Ahl al-Bayt, 'alayhum assalam, with the intention to start the war, their intent was to start fighting that same day as soon as Shimr arrived they wanted to go and start fighting.

When the clamor of the horsemen was heard. Husayn, 'alayhi asalam said to his brother, Abbas, Abbas, go and see what it is they want, and that is when Abu al-Fadhl Abbas came to them and said, what is it you have come for? And they have they said, we have come to ask Husayn that you either surrender immediately or we kill you right now. And Abbas, 'alayhi assalam said to them, wait here while I go back and ask. Thi was the. Jalilat, this was the haiba of Abu al-Fadhal al-'Abbas, that if he said to them, wait, no one would move an inch forward because as long as 'Abbas was there, they knew they could not do that.

It was almost as if he drew a line in the sand and said, don't cross this line if you value your life. By Allah, if Karbalaa had not been a desert and if that line had remained, then the hijab of Zaynab would not have been taken because that line that Abbas drew would have remained. Abu al-Fadhl al-Abbas came to Imam Husayn and said, this is what they have said.

Aba Abdillah said to him, my brother, Abbas, bi naffsee ya akhee, he used to have such high esteem for his brother, Abbas, he never called him my brother only. He used to say bi naffsee ya akhee, may be ransomed for you, my brother, bi nafsee ya akhee, oh 'Abbas. Go and tell them Husayn loves worshipping his Lord. Husayn wants one more night to pray to Allah. Husayn was not asking for Muhalla, in reality, he was giving them Muhalla because if this would not have happened, then Hurr would not have come the next day. So he was giving them a chance.

There was another wisdom behind this as well, if the war would have broken out on the evening of the 9th of Muharram, then on the Day of Judgment, these individuals who killed the family of the Prophet could have said, we did not know we were trampling the yateem of Hassan, it was dark. We did not know we were killing the shabeeh of Rasul Allah when we killed him, it was evening. We did not know we were piercing a six month old baby when we did that.

But Husayn wanted this to happen in the day, so that nobody has an excuse and no one can say anything that they didn't know what they were doing. 'Umar ibn Sa'ad proved that he mocked at Husayn and said, if Husayn thinks worshipping Allah for one more night will help him, we give him one more night. But by tomorrow, he must decide. Evening came Husayn, 'alayhi assalam gathered all his ashab and ansar and all his akraba in one place. Imams Zayn al-'Abadeen, alayhi assalam says, I was very ill and I was not able to sit amongst them. But I went nearby to listen to what my father was saying to them. He addressed them in a lengthy speech. Then he said to them inneela'a 'alamu ashabun aufa wa khairun min ashabee, by Allah, I do not know of anyone with companions better and more loyal than my companions, the kind of companions I have been blessed with. Not my father, not my grandfather, not my brother were blessed with.

Fa jazakum Ilah khairum jaza',may Allah reward you immensely. Then Husayn said to them, my companions, my family members, these people are here only for my blood. It is only I that they seek. They do not want to kill you. I urge you to leave in the dark of the night so that your lives are spared and no one moved. Husayn began addressing them individually. He turned to the descendants of Aqeel. He said, Oh Banu Aqeel, Muslim Bin Aqeel has been killed. You have given enough blood for my cause. Go in the dark of the night. Still nobody moved. Husayn said, perhaps you are concerned that if you leave, what will my mother Zahra' say to you yawm al-Qiyama. Go by Allah, I have I will not hold anything against you. I guarantee Jannah for you. Now he is assuring them salvation in the hereafter. I promise you jannat, nothing will be wrong with you in the hereafter. Go in the dark of the night. Nobody moved.

Then Husayn said, perhaps you are feeling ashamed to stand up and leave while I am standing in front of you. I will extinguish the lights go in the dark so nobody should see. Husayn put out the lights. When all the lights had been extinguished, he waited for a bit. Now, when Husayn, we are told, turned the light on again, when the candles were lit, when the lanterns were lit once again, when Husayn began to look around, Burayr was sitting on one side with his head lowered.

Abbas was standing on one side crying. Habib was crying on the other side. Husayn asked them, why is it that none of you has left? Zuhair ibn al-Qain addressed. He said, Oh Aba Abdillah, if we are killed a thousand times and brought to life again, we will not leave you. Abbas begin to speak, Oh Husayn, what value does life have after you? How how can we even think of leaving you? Husayn was pleased with his ashab.

He began showing them their maqam in jannah. Burair, this is your maqam in jannah. Habib, this is your maqam in jannah. One by one, Muslim ibn al-Ausajad, this is your maqam in jannah. The ashab were filled with the joy. The ashab rejoiced at their choice to stay with Husayn. They begin preparing for 'ibada, they begin preparing for worship. Imam Zayn al-'Abideen, 'alayhi assalam, says, he says, at one point my father moved away from the ashab, he sat by himself, the servant of Abu Dharr, who was known as Joan. Joan was sitting.

He was sharpening the sword of my father. While he was sharpening the sword of my father my father was reciting some verses of poetry. He was saying, Ya dharru uffin lakan min khaleelin kum bil ashrakee wa aseelee cum laka bil ashrakee wal aseelee, oh time how unfaithful you are as a friend. How many sunrises and how many sunsets you have seen and yet when the sun rises tomorrow how many bodies you will see lying on the plains of this sand. Alas, there can be no substitutes for us tomorrow.

And he begins saying this a couple of times. Imam Zayn al-'Abideen, alayhi assalam, said When I heard him say this, I begin to choke on my tears. But my aunt Zaynab began crying loudly and wailing until Husayn had to compose her and calm her down. Adrikun 'ala Allah. Husayn then called his ashab. He said, Bring your tents closer together. They brought all the tents closer together. They dug a ditch behind the tents and lit a fire there so the enemies cannot attack from behind.

The ashab begin busying themselves with preparing for battle. At this point, we are told, as the ashab were praying, raqee'an wa saje'an wa kana daweeyahum qadeewun nahal, there were voices coming from the camp of Husayn like the humming of bees. Subuhun kudduss those rabbuna wa rabbu mal'eeka double melodica the ashab are praising. This is on one side of the camp. O the other side of the same camp of Husayn, there were little voices calling al-'atash, al-'atash, al-'atash, al-'atash.

Mothers had little children in their lap, crying, Thirst is killing us, thirst is killing us. Husayn. Husayn left the khaiyam. He began walking into the wilderness towards the desert. He began walking towards the Maidan. Suddenly he heard a voice behind him. He heard a voice behind him. He turned to look, who is it that is following me? He turned to look Hilal bin Nafa' is following him. Hilal. Why are you following me?

Hilal says to Husayn Mawla, I was afraid that if you go alone into the wilderness, someone might attack you, I wanted to protect you, that is why I am following you, Husayn said, Hilal, come with me. Husayn took hold of the hand of Hilal. He began walking around the desert of Karbala. He took him to one spot, Husayn began crying. Hilal begin asking Mawla, Why do you weep like this? He said, Hilal, this is where my Qassim will be trampled tomorrow.

Then he took him somewhere else. Again Husayn cried there. Hilal said, Mawla, why do you cry here? He said, Hilal, this is where my Akbar will be hit with the spear. He took him somewhere else. Hilal, this is where the mushees of Sakina will be torn. Hilal, this is where my infant child's throat will be pierced. At one point, at one point, Husayn came to a place. He began talking to Hilal, but Hilal was not listening to him.

Hussain turned to him. Hilal, I am talking to you, but you are not listening to me. Why are you distracted? Hilal said, Mawla, Mawla, I am trying to listen to you, I'm trying to listen to you. But there is a voice of a baby that is crying here. I can hear a voice of a mother crying, saying Ya Husayn! Ya Husayn! Hilal, this is my mother Zahra, who has been following me from Medina. Ajrakum 'ala Allah.

Husayn returned to the camp, Husayn began walking around the camp, he came to ones side of the camp, he saw the ashab were gathered. Habib was speaking to the ashab, and telling them oh ashab ansari of Husayn, tomorrow we must sacrifice our lives first before others, he came to another part he found his family, the Banu Hashim had gathered. Abu Fadhl al-Abbas was telling them, oh Banu Hashem, tomorrow we, the family of the Prophet, must sacrifice our lives first.

Husayn went further. He saw his sister Zaynab, sitting with her two sons, A'un and Muhammad, saying, A'un Muhammad tomorrow do not hold back from sacrificing your lives. You are the grandsons of Ja'far at-Tayyar. Husayn went further. He saw a Farwa saying the same thing to Qassim, Husayn may have come to the tent where Rabab was sitting. Rabab would have been rocking her child and saying, Akaash, my son Ali, if you had been older, you too would have gone to the Maidan and sacrificed your lives.

I would say Rabab, Rabab, have you forgotten when you left Medina and Asghar did not want to live Fatima Sughra, Hussain has already told 'Aliun al-Asghar, my son Ali, when I call out for help, do not hold back and come to me Aliun al-Asghar is the sacrifice of Husayn. He is the youngest but the greatest mujahid of Husayn. 'Ash'ir this child was so young he was barely crawling. He was not even walking.

Ash'ir says, jahamee akeewoo binjala jalat bigaya, jahamee akeewoo binjala jalat bigaya. Zameeta asghar kina shipa kileeyae, the day of 'Ahsura came, Husayn give sacrifices one after the other. When all his ashab it becomes shaheed, when all is ansari become shaheed, when Abbas had gone, when Aliun Akbar had gone, Qassim, A'un and Muhammad had gone, when no one was left, the books of 'aza' say Husayn went into the tent of his ashab. He saw the tent was empty, there was no one in the tent. Then he went to the tent of the Banu Aqeel, there was no one in the tent, he went into the tents of the Banu Hashim, there was no one in the tent. Husayn, Husayn came out and stood in front of the tents. He raised his hands and said hal minna nassireen yansurna? Is there anyone left to come and help us? Hal min mugheethin eugheethuna? Is there anyone to come and rescue us now?

Suddenly he heard wailing and cries from the tents of the women. He came to the women and said, Why do you weep? I am still alive. They said, Mawla, when you are calling out Hal min mugheethin nassireen yansurna? Aliun al-Asghar threw himself from the cradle as if in response to your cry, Husayn Husayn said, Bring my baby to me. Let me go and ask these ashqeeya for some water. Perhaps they will quench the thirst of my child.

Rubab, Rubab said. Rubab said to Husayn: Mawla, Mawla, let me dress my child up. Perhaps if I dress them up, perhaps when they see my child, when they see him dressed up, they will feel more pity on him. They will feel more compassion for him. Rabab put new clothes on her baby. Rabab put kohl on the eyes of her baby. Rubab wrapped her baby in a small cloth. Then she gave the baby to Husayn.

Oh, Husayn, give water to my child and bring him back. I told you on the night of Qassim there were two mothers who stood outside the tent when their children went to the Maidan. There were two mothers who waited outside the khaiyam when the children went to the Maidan. One was Farwa waiting for Qassim. The other was a Rabab waiting for Aliun al-Asghar. But my dear brothers and sisters, there was one difference, when Farwa was waiting he knew Qassim will not come back alive, but Rabab did not know that Aliun al-Asghar will not return alive. Husayn. Husayn took his baby to the ashqeeya. He wrapped the baby in his aba. When the ashqeeya saw Husayn coming, they said, perhaps Husayn has brought Qur'an with him. Perhaps Husayn is surrendering and bringing asking for peace. Husayn came before them, he opened his aba', he said Ya kaoum Youko qad qataltum akhee wa auladee wa ashabee, oh people, you have killed my Abbas and you have killed my sons and you have killed all my companions. Fa ma baqeeya ighairu hadha tifil, I have no one left now except this baby.

What sin has this baby committed that you deny him water. Do you not see how thirsty this baby is? Give him some water. Husayn. Husayn ask them. No one responded. Then Husayn said, perhaps you think perhaps you think if you give him water, perhaps you think if you give him water, I will drink some of this water take I will keep this baby on the hot sands of Karbala. You come in, feed this baby some water.

Husayn put the baby on the hot sands of Karbala. No one came forward to give this baby any water. Husayn. Husayn took this baby again into his hands. He said, Oh people of Yazeed is there no saheebe awlada amongst you? Is there no one amongst you who has a baby that will sympathize with me? Husayn had an older daughter called Sakinah. On the night of shamee khareeba Sakinah had a dream. This older Sakina had a dream. In her dream, she saw her father, Husayn.

Husayn said to her, Sakinah, when you go back to Medina, tell my Shi'a, tell my Shi'a laitakum fi yaumee 'Ashura tundhurunee kaifa ashta skeelee ma infa aba yarharmunee, oh my Shi'a, if only you had all been with me on the day of our Ashura, you would have seen how I was begging for water for my child, but no one was willing to give me). Ajrakum 'ala Llah. When Husayn saw no one is giving any water to this child, Husayn said to the baby, Oh my son, Ali, you are a hujjah of Allah as well.

You do itmama hujja. Show them how thirsty you are. Show them how thirsty you are. Now that are ruwayat here. One ruwayat says the baby took out his dry, parched lip. He began to cut his dry, parched tongue. He began rubbing his dry tongue on his lips. The enemies looked at this lip and turned around and began crying. Akbar, if your sword cut through the necks of these ashqeeya, this tongue of this baby is his sword.

He will cut through the hearts of the enemies. Another rewaya says another rewaya says that Asghar, when he wanted to show how thirsty he was, he said they give the example. They say when you take a fish out of water, at first it jumps from one side to the other, fighting for life. Then at the last moments of the fish, when it doesn't have any strength left, it opens its mouth slowly. Then it closes its mouth slowly.

It opens it more slowly than it closes it slowly. Aliun al-Asghar was so thirsty, the baby would open its mouth a little bit, then it would close its mouth a little bit, then it would rub its tongue on its lips. The enemies turned their face and begin weeping. 'Umar Ibn Sa'ad, why are you putting us through this? 'Umar ibn Sa'ad called Harmala. Harmala, iqtal kalama Husayn. Harmala stop this right now, this baby will create a revolution in this army.

We have come this far. We must complete this. Harmala, what is the dhulum of Harmala? Do you know what is the dhulum of Harmala? Understand the dhulum of Harmala in this much, only that when Mukhtar was catching the ashqeeya of Karbala, every time one of them was caught, people would come to Imam Zain al-Abideen and tell him, ya ibna Rasul Allah Haseen bin Nameer has been caught. Ya ibna Rasoolullah, 'Umar ibn Sa'ad has been caught.

Ya ibna Rasoolullah, Khulee has been caught, Ya ibna Rasoolullah, Shimr has been caught. And every time they told this to Imam Zain al-'Abideen, he would say al-Hamdulillah. Has Harmala been caught al-Hamdulillah. What is news of Harmala? Has Harmala been caught? This is the dhulm of Harmala. Harmala went up to an elevation. He took a spear that was three-pronged. He took a prisoner. He took an arrow that was three-pronged. This arrow was used to slaughter a camel.

The Arabs when the slaughter a small animal, they call it dhbeeha. But when the slaughter a camel, they call it nahar, this arrow was used for the nahar a camel, Hurmala. Hurmala went to an elevation. He took the arrow and strung his bow. He aimed at the baby. The arrow fell down. He put the arrow again on his bowl. Again, it fell down. He put it again on the bow.

'Umar ibn Sa'ad said to him, Hurmala, Hurmala, what is happening to you? Why is your hand shaking? Why are you not able to to kill this baby? Hurmala said to Omar ibn Sa'ad, Ya ibn Sa'ad come and stand where I am standing. I can see a woman standing outside the khaiyam my heart tells me this is the mother of the baby, every time I raise the bow in the arrow she takes a step forward, Bas Hurmala turned a blind eye at Rabab, he made the neck of Asghar his mark. He shot the arrow, the arrow went screaming through the air. As the arrow hit Asghar as the arrow came to the child's neck. Here again, there is two rewaya. One rewaya says fun qalaba sabee' 'ala yadee abee. Fu dubeeha tufleeha min al udhun ila udhun wa min al-wareedh ila wareedh, the arrow comes piercing Asghar it entered through one ear the and left through the other ear. The other rewaya says fa lamma ahasa tafil bi hararat al-saham, when the baby felt the heat of the arrow entered into him akhraja yaday min al-qeemat, he took his hands out of his swaddle cloth. Fa 'antanaka aba Husayn.

He tried to hug his father fa rafa'a katairee madhbut, he began flapping his arms like a little bird that had been slaughtered. The baby was tormented and cried. Ghareebo Husayn, madhlum Husayn. I do not know how Husayn removed from the arrow from the baby's neck, but now I understand what the arbab 'aza mean, when they say Husayn madhlumae. They say rula, rula kum ragaeha, blood spurting from the neck of Asghar. Husayn. Husayn took the blood of Asghar in his hand. Husayn wished to throw the blood of Asghar to the heavens.

A voice called out to him, Husayn, if this innocent blood comes towards us, it will not rain on this world again. Husayn wanted to spill the blood of Asghar the earth. The Earth called out to him Husayn, if this innocent blood falls on us, no seed will grow on this earth again. But Husayn wiped the blood on his face. Harkadha alkajeer Rasoolullahee al-yawm al-qiyama, this is all I will come to my jad Rasul Allah al-yawm al-qiyama. Husayn cover his baby again with his aba, Husayn started walking back towards the khaiyam, inna li Llah wa inna illaihee rajee'un redhunbee qadhahee wa tasleeman li amree.

Husayn went a little forward. Then he realized Rabab is waiting. He began walking backwards inna li Llah wa inna alaihee rajee'un redhunbee kadha'eehe wa tasleeman le amree. Seven times Husayn went forward seven times he went backward. When Husayn came finally to the khaiyam, he said Zaynab, Hold Rubab. Sakinah came running out. Baba, have you quenched the thirst of Azghar? Husayn did not say anything to Sakinah. I would say Sakinah yes, Asghar's thirst has been quenched. Harmaa has quenched it with an arrow. When Husayn removed is aba Rabab saw her baby, she said only one thing to the baby and then she fainted. Bunaiya, bunaiya amithulaka unahar my baby. Are children like you slaughtered like camels are slaughtered? When Rabab came to Husayn thought perhaps the mother will get some closure. Husayn said to Rabab Let us bury this child before I go for my final widha. Husayn took Rabab with him, they went behind the khaiyam. Husayn had said to Rabab hold the baby. Rabab holds her baby. Husayn began digging a grave with his Dhul Fiqar.

I would ask, oh Assman wa Muzzamee, Have you ever seen a scene like this where the father is digging the grave of his baby was the mother of the slaughtered child? They arbab of 'aza say. As Husayn was digging the grave, suddenly he turned to Furat, Abbas. He called out to him. When Ibrahim, the son of the Prophet, died, Ali dug the grave and buried him. Come oh Abbas and see, ghareeb Husayn is digging is own son's grave.

Husayn buried Asghar and returned. The 11th of Muharram came. 'Umar ibn al-Sa'ad said where is the baby that Harmala slaughtered? A group of men was sent with spears. They began piercing the earth looking for the baby. Rabab's heart must have stopped when she saw a spear disappear into the earth of Karbala. When the spear came out, her baby was on the spear. My child, why are you being slaughtered a second time? Wa 'Aleeya, wa Asghara, wa Husayna wa Madhluma.