Freeing The Butterfly Within 6/12 - 6th Muharram 1433/2011

In the sixth lecture of the "Freeing the Butterfly Within" series, Br. Khalil Jaffer introduces the concept of worldly addictions and attachments in relation to Tabi'ah and Fitra, citing examples from the Holy Qur'an, as well as further discusses the differences between the two natures.

A'udhu billahi min al-Shaytan al-rajim, Bismillah al-Rahman al-Rahim, al-hamdulillah Rabbi 'l-alameen, bari' al-khalaa'iqi ajma'een. Wa as-salat wa assalam 'ala asharafi al-anbiya'i wa'l-mursalin, sayyidina wa nabiyyina wa habibi qulubina wa tabibi nufusina wa shafi'i dhunubina Abil Qasim Muhammad. [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad]. Thumma as-salatu wa assalam 'ala aali baytihi at-tayyibeen at-tahareen al-madhlumeen. Wa la'anatullahi al a'da'ihim ajma'een min yawmi 'adaawatihim ila yawm id-deen. Amma ba'd, faqad qal Allahu tabaraka wa taa'la fi ketabih, wa huwa asdaqul qaa'eleen. Bismillahi, al-rahman, al-Rahim. Fa aqim wajhaka lil-deeni haneefan, fitrat Allahi allati fatara an-nas 'alaiha. La-tabdeela li-khalqillah. Dhalika ad-deenu 'l-qayyimu, wa-lakinna akthara an-nasi la ya'lamun (30:30). Salawat ala Muhammad [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad, wa ajjal farajahum]

Tonight is our sixth majlis and discussion on freeing the butterfly within. Last night we stopped after mentioning addictions and attachments and we promised we would discuss these tonight and look at how, when a person develops attachments to other than Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala and is addicted to anything that is tied directly to this physical world into his body, then that becomes a hindrance in his spiritual metamorphosis to becoming that proverbial butterfly that we've been talking about. And we have been saying that when we completely identify with the body and our goal and focus in our movement, which is driven by our desires and intention, is towards fulfilling the needs of tabee'a only, then, because we are creatures of habit, we are bound to develop addictions.

The fact that we are creatures of habit is not a flaw in our design. The fact that very quickly, when we think about something repeatedly it sooner or later translates into action. And when we perform that action repeatedly, it becomes a habit. And when we perform something as a habit, it becomes a character. And when it becomes our character, it defines who we are is not a flaw in our design, but it was created purposely so that we would become addicted to Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala. So we attach to the wrong thing. But the tendency to form a habit and to attach is not a flaw. Last night, we also defined an addiction by saying that typically an addiction is defined as a habit that you perform repeatedly to a point that even if it is harming you or those around you, you are unable to stop performing that habit, even if you would want to do so. And this sort of a definition is normally given when we talk of the common addictions that the world speaks of, like substance abuse, drugs and alcohol and so on and so forth.

But as such, every human being has some or the other form of addiction, some of the other vice, so to speak. When Islam teaches us the value of fitra, essentially, what it is trying to teach us is how to be free from these shackles, from this chains, from these addictions, that tie us down and prevent us from actualizing our full potential. And what is amazing is that the Qur'an actually mentions chains and shackles as things that tie you down and prevent you from becoming who you really should. In Suratul 'Araf chapter seven of the Qur'an verse 157, Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala specifically tells us why he sent the final message, Rasul Allahi, sallallahu alayhi wa 'aali wa sallam [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad] After mentioning that this Prophet has been described in the Tawrat and in the Injil and this, know from what they have been given in the previous books, that this is the message that they were promised then when Allah talks about what he has come to do. He says, "Ya'murrhoom bil ma'roof wa yanhahoo 'al munkar (He bids them to good, he enjoins them to do good, and he forbids them from evil. Wa yehillo la humu at-tayyibat wa yuharrimu alayhee khab'ith (and he makes lawful for them that which is good and declares unlawful for them that which is bad, that which is impure). And then He says, wa yadh'uu 'anhum 'israhoom wa aghlaa latee 'alaihim (7:157) (and he has come to relieve them of their burdens and to free them from the shackles that they are tied to.

This is in the Qur'an. Which means that when human beings are left long enough without spiritual guidance, without a messenger or a guide from Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala because of these addictions, they become shackled and their potential is reduced. One of the key functions of that messenger is to come and remove these shackles. It is to remove the myths and the superstitions that hold us from becoming who we really can. Today, we live in the 21st century, but we are so driven by superstitions and myth. This is not unknown to you, we live in a very multicultural society here, we know of cultures where, for example, they will not purchase a home if you open the house door and there is a staircase in front. Right. We know of cultures, for example, that if you give them a clock, it's a bad omen. It's a sign of death. They will totally freak out if you give them a clock as a present. We have cultures ready for black cat crosses in front of them, it's a bad luck or bad sign. And we are immigrants.

We come from places where we are known how we fear so many things other than Allah from Shaytan to jinn to somebody writing a ta'weedh, somebody doing this and that. These kind of things, superstitions, myths, addictions, attachments, these are the things that prevent us from progressing to our full potential. The prophet comes to free us from this. And you will recall the analogy of the cave that we give where human beings were compared to prisoners in an underground cave, staring at a blank wall, looking at shadows being thrown by a fire behind them, thinking this is reality and it is a prophet who comes and removes those chains and shackles and brings us out of that cave to the open world and shows us what you were looking at was just shadows, this is the real world.

Addictions do the same thing, they take us into that cave and they tie us in the chain and they hold us like that. And to explain this further, I borrow some verses of the Qur'an and I'm going to use that as an analogy. I'm not saying this is tafsir of the verse. I'm saying I'm using these verses now as an analogy to explain this. What is it that an addiction and an attachment does to you? And these verses are actually, from Surah Ya Sin, which is very familiar to us, verses seven to ten: "laqad haqqa 'ala laqad qawla alaihim 'ala akthree fihoom la yu'minun" (36:7). The word has become due on them. So most of them will not believe most of them are caterpillars. Most of them would rather stay in the cave. Inna ja'lna fi an'kihim aghlalan (36:8), we have placed chains, iron collars on their necks, fa heeya ila adhkanee (36:8), so it is up to their chins for hoom makmakun, so they cannot turn their heads. Remember that analogy of the cave? It's a perfect fit. OK wa ja'lana min baynee aydeehim saddan (36:9), then we have placed a wall in front of them; wa min khlaqeefihim saddan (36:9), and behind them is a wall; fi aghshaanaihum (36:9), and then there is a blindfold on them; fi imlla yumseerun(36:9). This is what addictions do to you. So when you have a chain, an iron collar on your neck, up to your chin and you can't turn your head, and then you have a wall here and a wall behind and you're blindfolded, when will you see the truth? That is why: wasawa'un alaihum umdhartahum wa umlum tindhirhum la u'minun (36:10).

That is why all our dear Prophet, whether you warn them or you do not warn them, it is the same, it will make no difference, they will never believe. Meaning that when a person is completely tabee'a driven, even if Allah was to send a messenger, even if He was to reveal a book, it will not make a difference. The first initiative has to come from us. We must be willing to remove that blindfold, to remove those chains, to say I want to come out of that cave. When we are willing to hold the hand of the messenger and say, show me the truth. And to do that, we must be willing to let go of those addictions and those attachments.

If one becomes addicted to tabee'a, they will resist fitra. Even if they know this is good for them, they will not be able to come out of it just like one who is addicted to drugs. They know this is harmful. You don't have to tell them what is the harmfulness of this because they have first hand experience, but they cannot get out of it, they feel they're trapped in that. And the more they indulge in it, the worse it gets, the hungrier it becomes. Tabee'a is this by nature because it believes this is giving me pleasure. This is helping me flee from pain. This is what I need to survive, which is the characteristics of tabee'a. So it is like when tabee'a tries to satisfy a desire, it is like drinking salt water. The more you drink, the thirstier you become. OK, we're talking of the harmfulness of addictions and attachments and why this hinders us from moving from being tabee'a oriented to being fitra oriented.

However, we must remember that tabee'a is not evil in itself. I will have to keep reminding you this again and again. Tabee'a has a function. Its function is to regulate the needs of the body. Its function is to protect the body from harm. The reason why you instinctively fight or flight or fight or flee, somebody tries to hit you, you protect yourself. It's because tabee'a's function is to safeguard the body and protect it from harm. Tabee'a only becomes bad when it becomes excessive, when it becomes an obsession, when it becomes an addiction, that is when it turns evil. That is when it becomes a dhalim, that is when it becomes tyrannical.

Shaheed Mutahhari used to say about money, for example, money is an excellent servant, but a very bad master. Money is an excellent servant, but a very bad master. Tabee'a is like that. If your fitra can reign in your tabee'a it is an excellent servant. It will take you to new heights. But if it is left unreined and it becomes your master, then it is an evil master.

We have also said that concepts like justice are related to fitra. Tabee'a does not know this. That is why tabee'a will easily become unjust when it is left unharnessed because it doesn't understand the concept of injustice. You see, justice requires patience, tabee'a does not have patience, tabee'a says I want it, and I want it now and I don't care whether it is halal or haram because I believe this will give me pleasure or this will remove pain or this is what I need to survive. So it is beyond for the nature, the animal instinct within us to rationalize or moralize the idea of justice or patience. That is why when it is left unharnessed, it will always become evil. Otherwise, if it is controlled, desire in itself is not bad, is not evil. Now this again, I need to clarify again and again. Desire is not bad. We must not think I need to fight my desires. What I need to avoid is letting that desire become an obsession.

If I had no desire within me, I would not seek knowledge. When I seek knowledge, it is a desire in me that makes me seek knowledge. It is a desire in me that makes me want to seek perfection.Even seeking Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala is a result of desire. If men had no desire within Him, he would not even seek his Lord. So desire in and of itself is not bad. It is only when it becomes an addiction that it becomes bad. An addiction is also a sign of unhappiness. And I know this puts our guards up, we think I'm not unhappy, I know what I'm addicted to, I'm addicted to coffee, I'm addicted to cigarettes, I'm addicted to this and that. But I'm not unhappy. Addiction is a sign of unhappiness.

One who is in love will not be addicted and will give up addictions very quickly. You see, what happens is, the unhappiness is not necessarily very obvious to others or even to ourselves. It sort of simmers just below the surface. It is subliminal and we know this. Why? Because of the way we treat our life. If I was fitra oriented, if I was not addicted, if I was in love with Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala, then I would be so happy every morning that I woke up. I would be so happy to be alive. I would be grateful for life because I would see life as a gift from Allah. I would see my body as a vehicle that I'm using to evolve and develop my soul. I would cherish life. I would value my time because I'm fitra driven, I am in love with Allah and I know I'm racing against time. I want to see how far I can fly during the time that Allah has given me in this world. But the way we treat our bodies and our lives, how do we treat it? We say I'm not going to live forever anyway. I might as well enjoy myself. Right. Life is short, you know, how much am I going to do? I'm growing old now, so there is a sense of giving up on life. We take life for granted. We take our bodies for granted.

It is almost a psychologist might almost say that at some subliminal level it is a form of suicide. We are saying I really don't care if eating all this unhealthy food or smoking kills me because, you know, I'm fed up. It's the same routine, the same retrogress get up, morning night, struggling, going like a donkey around the mill, you know, it has to end someday. That's the attitude we have to life. There is a sense of giving up. That is why I say addiction is a sign of unhappiness. We try to give up addictions. Everyone tries. But because the reason is not love, we fail to do so. Ask people who smoke how many times they have tried giving up and how many times they have failed. What was their reason? The reason may have been it's bad for health. My doctor says I should not smoke. My wife says I should not smoke. My friend has stopped smoking, so I want to try, whatever the reason might be. Because it is for health or because it is peer pressure or because of some other reason or my weight or my health or whatever. That is why it doesn't work, because at some point I come back to the same question, if I'm doing it for my health, how long am I going to live? I might as well enjoy while I can. If I'm doing it because my wife says so, if I smoke when she is not around, she's not going to know. Right. So the reason is quickly justified in dissolved.

But if I fall in love, then the shackles fall apart. Now I don't have to find a reason. I don't have to try giving up the addiction. I just lose that addiction. There is no pleasure in that addiction because I found something that gives me more pleasure. If you get pleasure from drinking coffee, it's very easy for you to give up tea because it is stronger, it has more pleasure. So if you become addicted to Allah, you will not have to try giving up the other addictions, they will simply fall apart. Now, you might say, well, a young man who gets engaged and falls in love also doesn't feel like eating, gives up addictions quickly. If his beloved and sweetheart tells him I'll only marry you if you give up smoking, he'll just throw the cigarette pack right away. Yes. The problem with using love with a creature to give up an addiction is that when you get to know someone or something very closely, you will also see their ugliness. That is why so many women complain to their husbands after marriage, you don't give me the gifts and say the nice things and the cards and the roses like you used to do when we were engaged. Right.

When you get to know anything or anyone very closely, you will see its ugliness. Why? Because nothing is perfect. So the only thing that you can find that is perfect that you can fall in love with is Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala. If you can recite a Salwaat ala Muhammad [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad] Then the result of having fallen in love and placed all your hopes in this human being, she is going to make me happy. You put all your eggs in one basket and then you find out she's not the, you know, my soul mate chosen for me or whatever that means. Right. Then you revert back to the addiction slowly and now it gets worse because you were even more depressed now. Unless as an alternative. Allah has created beings that are perfect and you fall in love with one of them. Yes, fall in love with Husayn. You will not be disappointed. Fall in love with a-Ridha. You will not be disappointed. Fall in love with Sahab az-Zaman Imam al-Hujja,'ajal lillah wa farajah wa sharif.[Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad, wa ajjal farajahum]

So the only solution to giving up your addictions is fall in love. And once you do that, then even your love for others will be for the sake of Allah. And when you love others, for the sake of Allah, you will be more compassionate, more tolerant, less judgmental. You will see their flaws, but you will still love them and you will learn the true love is not to love someone because they are perfect, but to love them despite their imperfection, because that is how Allah loves you. Can you imagine if Allah or his Messenger or the Imam was to say, I will only love those who are perfect. But when they say we love our Shi'a, they know you are imperfect. But despite that they love you, because they have that width and breadth to take that much.

OK, now let us take a particular example of how our lives progress, how within our nature we seek perfection. We are constantly seeking Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala. We mentioned this yesterday that Allah says, inna kakadeehun ila Rabika kabhan fi mulaqee... Ya ayyua al-insan(84:6), Oh human being, you are constantly striving towards your Lord and you will meet him. Even now, you think that your goal in life is to complete university, your goal in life is to marry so and so, your goal in life is to buy a Ferrari. But in reality what you are seeking is Allah. You have just misplaced Allah. And for now you think Ferrari is Allah, but you will discover in time it is not. Let us suppose when I am young, my goal and ambition is to be, I don't know, a teacher. Now I come into an environment where there is room for growth and promotion and I have the smartness, the aptitude, the ability to progress. My nature because it seeks perfection, after a while, I will want to take in a higher position and become later the head of department. Will I stop at any point and say, that's it for me, I'm done? No, if I have aptitude and an opportunity comes up, I'll say I want to be the principal. Then I'll say I want to join the Board of Education. Then I'll say I want to be the Minister of Education. Then I'll say I want to be the prime minister. There is a constant progress now. Here you take any career and you will see that sort of desire within a human being.

There are two things to observe. Firstly, we always seek something that in our eyes is higher and more perfect. We never seek something backwards. The minister of education will never feel that for me, the next goal in life is to go and become a teacher, for example, not to say that being a teacher is anything meaner or baser, but for him, in his eyes, that is a move backwards. OK, just like if you are a teacher or if you have crossed university, you will never aspire to going back to high school because that is a step backwards. So the first thing we observe in human beings is that we constantly want something higher and better. But the other thing we observe is that as we grow older, we go through this retress. When I'm in my 20s, in my 30s, I am constantly striving at work in the corporate world, trying to move ahead, get ahead of others. Then when I cross 40, 50 and my energy starts waning and I start growing old and I start seeing the gray hair and I start falling sick every now and then I lose the energy, I lose the zeal, I start seeing there are a lot of other younger individuals who are striving for the same position as me. I cannot keep up. So I slowly start giving up now because all my life, my ambition and my goal was only limited to this, I start now feeling disappointed, I start feeling depressed, I start looking for pleasure elsewhere. I start developing attachments, I start forming addictions. This is the reason why so many individuals in all societies, when they retire from work, they go through a phase of depression because they suddenly come from a position where they had authority, they had status, people reported to them. When they went in the morning, people asked them what to do next. They had control, they had their own office, now their home. Nobody's asking them anything because their goal in their aim and the desire in life was only this.

Again, remember, there's nothing wrong with desire. There's something wrong with obsession. If I had the desire for progression in my career, but my obsession was Allah then even when I retire, even when I am fired from my work or there is a downsizing and I lose my job, it does not drive me to despair. I do not give up on life. I do not seek an addiction because I am already in love and obsessed with something that is far greater. So rather than chasing and running after something that will disappoint us, what we can do as Muslims and particularly as the Shia of 'aali Muhammad is acknowledge right from the beginning that my fitra seeks Allah and my goal should be Allah and the perfection I seek should be through proximity to Him. Everything else is temporary.

I can have a desire for education. I can have a desire for career. I can have desire for family. That is all fine. But my passion, what really drives me, we said yesterday, all human beings move all the time, but our movements are driven by our intention and our desire. If that intention and desire is driven through fitra, through my divine nature, not through my animal instinct, that only once pleasure fleeing from pain and survival, then we said there is noor there is light in everything I do. Then I can do everything else that other human beings do, but my life is filled with joy, there is happiness, there is tranquility, there is no that simmering unhappiness. I don't need some addiction to keep me happy every day. I don't have to get up in the morning and say I have to have my cup of coffee, otherwise I can't function. I no longer become a human being who says if I don't have my pillow, I cannot sleep. I no longer become a human being who says I must have my cell phone with me all the time if I don't have my cell phone, I get withdrawal symptoms, because I am complete. There is nothing else I need to complete me. The fact that I don't need this coffee and this particular pillow this cell phone and this Internet is not because I have given up on life or I'm depressed. It is because I am in love. But with something greater, I can still have that cell phone. I can still have that pillow, I can still have all that. But if I lose it, it doesn't bother me. OK, this is very, very important. And it is for this reason that what is the opposite to that?

The opposite of that is, if I don't acknowledge that Allah can only be my true love, then another thing we will observe in our personal experience and life is that I will constantly jump from one desire to another, desire from one addiction to another addiction from one attachment to another attachment from one hobby to another hobby. And by doing so, I am simply replacing one god with another god, another god with another god. But what I am actually seeking is Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala. And Allah points to this fact that if you do not surrender and become my slave, you will be enslaved by much else. When you enslave yourself to Allah, he sets you free. When you enslave yourself to other than Allah, it shackles you. It imprisons you.

In Surat al-Jathiya, chapter 45 of the Qur'an verse 23 Allah says, afara'aita min attakhadha illa'ahu hawa'u (45:23) have you then seen him whose god is his lust. Have you considered the man whose god is his lust. Afara'aith mani takhadha illa'ahu hawa'u, which means Ilah, the Arabic word Allah comes from Ilah, Ilah is that which you adore. And therefore, my Allah might be the one to whom I pray and I do ruku' and sujud, but my Ilah might be something else, my Ilah is that dream, that passion, that reason that gives me the desire to wake up in the morning. Maybe my Ilah is a Hummer. That's what makes me wake up in the morning. That's what I want when I'm driving on the road. Every time a Hummer passes by, I'm looking. Others don't notice it, but I notice it because it's my beloved. You see. Your Ilah has to be Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala.

Now, the Prophet Abraham (Ibrahim) 'ala Nabeena Alaiha Salaam wanted to show this to his people. His people used to worship the stars and the moon and the sun, and he wanted to show them that human nature wants perfection, wants the best. And unless one comes to this realization that there is nothing but Allah that is perfect, we go through these hoops where we constantly seek one and then skip and skip and skip, which is again, not entirely out of purpose. As we have said, it is this conflict and this disappointment and these struggles that help us come out of that cocoon, help us come out of our shell and realize our true potential. And this is in Suratul An'am, which is chapter six of the Qur'an verse 76 and 79. So what Ibrahim, alayhi assalam, did was he pretended to be one of them, a worshipper of stars and the moon and the sun. Fa lamma janna 'alaihi layl ra'a kawkabun qala hadha rabbi (6:76), when night fell and he saw a beautiful star he said to his people, this is my lord, hadha rabbi. Fa lamma affala qala la ihibu ilafileen (6:76). When that star disappeared and set, he said to them, I don't like things that said this cannot be god. Fa lamma ra'a qamara bazighan qal hadha rabbi (6:77). Then he saw the full moon. He saw the moon coming out, rising. He said to his people," This is beautiful. This is my God, I'm going to worship this one." Fa lamma afalah qala la ilam yahdeenee Rabee la iqunnana min al-qommi al-dhalimeen (6:77). When the moon set, when it began to wane and become a crescent and disappear, he said, "Indeed, if my Lord had not guided me, I would have been one of those who are misguided." Fa lamma ra'a al-shams al-bazighatan qala hadha akbar, hadha rabbi (6:78).

Then he saw the sun rising, he said, "This is the big one, this is my Lord, I am going to worship the sun. Hadha akbar. Fa lamma afalat, then when the sun set, qala ya-qomee innee baree'un ma tishrekun khalilah (6:78). When the sun set he said, "Oh my people, I now disassociate myself completely from what you worship." Innee tawjahtu wajhee liladhee fa tara samawatee fe ardhee haneefan wa ma anna min al-mushriqeen(6:79). I now set my face and I direct myself, my movement, my intention, my desire completely, only to the originator of the heavens and the earth. And I this is my pure path, I am Hanif and I shall not be one of the polytheists. So he gave them by example how you can take something to be your god and then it will disappoint you. Then you will look for something brighter and bigger, then it will disappoint you. Then you will look for something even brighter and bigger, then it will disappoint you and you will keep going through that in life until you come to this conclusion. This ma ana min al-mushriqeen (I am not one of the polytheists) is not just in the sense of I'm not one of those who worships idols. It is also in the sense that I am not attached to anything in my love that will compete with my love for Allah.

That is why shirk is of different kinds. There is shrik al-khafee. How can I truly say to Allah that I love you when I know that in my heart I love something else or someone else more than I love Him. That is why we have in Hadith al-Qudsi that when a man says I love you oh Allah and then he sleeps through the whole night and does not wake up for salatu layl or namaz al-shabb, as we call it, then Allah says to the angels "He is a liar. How can a person who claims I am his beloved sleep?" Have you known a man in love to sleep? In your own experience when you are engaged could you sleep at night? When you are in love, you cannot eat, you lose your appetite, you lose your sleep. Allah says you claim to love Me, but you sleep like a drunk all night. Where is this love that you claim about? It is false.

So. We have to look at this in our lives and look at your own life from the time you were a child, you remember when you were a child, there was this toy you wanted and you thought, if I have this, I will never want anything else just. Dad buy me this bicycle, I will never ask you anything again, just this once. But after you got that bicycle, after a while, you wanted a motorbike, didn't you? Then you wanted a car, right? You wanted this watch. If I get this watch? I just want this Xbox. I will never ask you for anything. Then when a new version comes out, you yourself, you have this iPhone, you have to have this. Now the new one comes out, the old one loses its charm. It no longer has value. Your dream is to graduate from high school. Once you graduate, it no longer has any appeal. Now you want to graduate from university.

So it is your nature to want something bigger, something higher. Why go through all the hoops? Why not just jump and say my obsession shall be Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala everything else shall be a means towards that. In other words, our desire for greatness can be part of our fitra, but it is misplaced when tabee'a interferes. And that desire and that obsession is not rooted in Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala. When we don't know our fitra and we don't realize that the real goal is Allah, then what happens is we jump horizontally from one god to another instead of jumping vertically. You see fitra wants qualitative progression. Tabee'a doesn't care about quality. Tabee'a want quantitative movement. It wants a horizontal move. Look at your own life. Look at our own lives. I ask you, I ask myself, how many times have you thought about taking different courses that you never took? How many times have you thought of taking different hobbies that you then give up? How many times have you thought of different professions and businesses and Googled and searched it to death and then didn't do anything about it? How many times have you thought of migrating to different lands and you searched and searched and searched and then you still didn't do about it? And how many times do you still continue to do that? Why? Because you are searching for something.

You are looking for happiness, but you will not find it anywhere else except with Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala Tabee'a wants to stop immediately. Tabee'a says, "Hadha rabee (this is my lord)." Let's just stop here. We're not comfortable. We are in the cocoon. Let's not rock the boat. Fitra says this is not our destination. We still have to go far. Tabee'a is impatient, it is like a child, I want it, I want it now. Fitra is like a parent, it constantly lectures tabee'a, it constantly disciplines tabee'a, it constantly forces tabee'a to take actions that tabee'a feels is unfair, but it is needed for the evolution of the soul.

Let me give you another example by which we might understand how is human beings most of us are tabee'a driven. Let's forget about this world for a moment. Let's talk about the hereafter. What do we want in the hereafter? We want to go to jannah. Now we ask Islam, what is there in jannah? They tell us that palaces, very good. There is fruits, very good. There is rivers flowing of honey, of milk, beautiful mentions of gold and emerald and ruby and the perfect weather. You don't grow old, you don't fall sick. Beautiful. There are beautiful spouses, hoor al-'ayn. Perfect. Now we ask them what is the greatest pleasure in jannah? They tell us the greatest pleasure in jannah is having a conversation with Allah. When Allah speaks to you directly, one on one, it is so pleasurable, it is beyond anyone's imagination. It is even more pleasurable than when Musa, alayhi assalam, was talking to Allah one on one. He was kaleemullah. He used to talk to Allah one on one. But even more than that, and it is for this reason that there is different grades for people in jannah.

For some, we are told Allah will speak to them once a day. For some, Allah will speak to them 70 times a day. For some, Allah will not speak to them, but he will look at them, but when he looks at them, they will swoon with desire and pleasure. For some Allah, they will have access to Him whenever and wherever they please. It sounds beautiful. Now we ask our nafs, supposing I had to choose between hoor al-'ayn and talking to Allah. Tough choice? Hoor al-'ayn or talking to Allah, I don't know. What is it in us? We know that has higher pleasure, but it doesn't sound so appealing. I mean, come on talking. How much pleasure can have been talking? It is because our tabee'a is speaking. What it knows familiar. Tabee'a is driven by the body it is driven by physical needs, it is it only knows physical pleasure, it only knows fleeing from physical pain, it only knows survival of the body. And because we are tabee'a driven, we cannot imagine a pleasure beyond physical. It is for fitra to say I want perfection and even though I cannot imagine it, I will not settle for anything less. For fitra this is a no brainer. It will only want Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala. Tabee'a will say, OK, I'll take that but can I also have this, because tabee'a is also greedy. We have talked about this.

Now tabee'a is pleased with everything trivial tabee'a turns to look at every distraction. Fitra is responsible, fitra is focused, fitra has a sense of purpose, it has a sense of urgency. Fitra also wants comfort, but fitra wants something that is permanent and eternal. The fitra within you, the divine nature within you says, I want happiness, I want comfort, I want pleasure. But I do not want something that will only last for 20, 30, 40 years. I will not settle for anything less. I want something permanent and we know this deep down. That is why Amir al-mu'minin Ali ibn Abi Talib, salatullahi wa assalamu alayh [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad] he says: the price of your soul of your nafs is jannah. So do not sell yourself short. Do not sell yourself for anything less than jannah. If you sell yourself for this world, you have shortchanged yourself, but that your fitra knows your tabee'a doesn't know. Tabee'a wants something, even if it is superficial and temporary. So fitra says, I want comfort and I will work hard for it, but I want it in the hereafter. Tabee'a says we'll will worry about hell when we get there. We don't have to worry about it now, let's enjoy what we can now.

And again, Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib, salatullahi wa assalamu alayh [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad] he says, "How beautiful is that suffering. How beautiful is that suffering that you endure, after which there is eternal bliss, and how sad. How bad is that pleasure that lasts only for a short while, but after which there is eternal punishment." When you keep this in mind, then you don't want to trade. Your fitra will not want to trade something temporary for something permanent. This is important, and that is why another name for our butterfly is Insan al-Kamyl, and we have already said Insan al-Kamyl is someone who is complete, he is not driven by addiction. He is not desire of that which is temporary. It does not complete him. He is in love. He will only take that which is permanent, that which is eternal. And it is this that Allah wants to also teach us through calamities and suffering. We talked a bit about calamities and suffering. In Surah al-Hadeed, which is chapter 57 of the Qur'an, verse 23, Allah tells us why we suffer afflictions: li kailat ta'sow 'ala mafatakum walla tifrahoo bi ma'takum (57:23), that you may not despair over what you lose. You may not become depressed and despondent completely over what you lose, nor become proud and rejoice exceedingly over what you gain. In other words, that you do not become tabee'a driven. You do not become just a glorified social political animal who is driven by fear and greed. When the stocks go up, you become overly happy. When the stocks go down, you become depressed.

It is to teach you not to be tabee'a driven, that Allah sends you calamities and suffering. Tabee'a never surrenders, we said fitra always surrenders to Allah. When calamities come fitra says inna lillah wa inna illahee rajee'un (I come from Allah and I'm journeying back to Allah.) Tabee'a doesn't say that. Tabee'a says what Fir'awn said that is given to us in Nazi'at, which is chapter 79, verse 23 and 24. He gathered all the people, fa hashara fa nadha fa qala "Ana rabbikoom wa 'ala (79:23-24) I am your exalted lord. Tabee'a is like that when you leave it unharnessed it sits on you as your god, it runs without any control. There is another quality about tabee'a that we also need to know that we will elaborate on in the coming night. Tabee'a is fluid, it has no loyalty. It will tell you this is my passion and desire today. And then as if it never knew this, tomorrow something else would be my passion. And then the third, that this will not be important, something else will be my desire. This relationship will be most important to me. Then the next day, something else will be more important.

Fitra is loyal, it is fixed. Why? Because fitra only wants Allah, so there is no change, it remains fixed on that. It does not constantly change. The other reason why fitra is loyal, is because fitra has tasted the love of Allah at some point, it has experienced that connection to Allah. In other lectures that we have given in the past, like yearning for Allah we have said that the idea that I am disconnected from Allah that I don't feel His presence, that I don't feel His love is an illusion. You are always connected to Him. It is simply that it is clogged, that connection is blocked, the conduit is clogged. It is clogged with attachments and addictions. When I give up attachments and addictions and I unclog that, the connection is already there. That is why Allah does not tell you find Me, He tells you simply deny the other gods I am there. You only have to say la illaha, that's all. When you say la illaha, there is no other god. What remains is illa illa Allah (there is no god but Allah). You cannot find Allah by finding Him because He is already there.

When was a lot absent that you need to find Him. You can only find Allah by removing the veils and the obstacles. Which is what? Which is our addictions and our attachments. You remove them and He is there. He is present. And that is why, as in the example of the month of Ramadan, we give that when we become even a little spiritual, we begin to sense that connection, that clogging begins to remove. So our unhappiness and our addiction is directly caused because of the fact that we are missing Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala in our lives. And the day we find Him, we will cry like a little baby cries when it sees its parent after a long time. And then we will never want to let go of that connection. There is so much love, there is so much warmth that comes from Allah to his creation. Now, let's talk for a moment here. Why is it that nothing satisfies that or pleases us except Allah? We said it is in our fitra that nothing pleases us or satisfies us except Allah because we have tasted that connection. But why, can we prove it?

I give you an analogy, another set of verses of the Qur'an that again, I'm not saying is that the tafsir of the verse, but I'm using these verses as an analogy to explain how this connection with Allah works. If you can recite a Salwaat ala Muhammad [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad]

You see that Prophet Moses, Musa, alayhi assalam, when he was born, the Pharaoh was told that a child will be born to the children of Israel who will overthrow your kingdom and kill you. So he passed a law that any male child that is born to the children of Israel should be killed immediately. And while this massacre was happening, Musa, Musa, alayhi assalam, was born. Now, you know the story that the mother of Musa put him in the basket, sent him down the river, and Allah to show His might and power says, "Oh Fir'awn you want to kill the one who is going to overthrow you. I'm going to send him to you, you are going to raise him." So he goes down the basket to Fir'awn and Fir'awn raises his nemesis in his own palace. When the baby first comes and the wife of Fir'awn, who is a mu'mina, who is known in as Asia, she takes the baby. She's looking for a wet nurse, a foster mother to feed the baby. And every mother who tries to feed Musa, Musawill, alayhi assalam, not drink the milk of that mother. The mother of Musa had sent Musa's sister to follow the basket down the river. She comes to Asia and says to her, "Shall I show you a lady from whom he will drink?" And she brings the mother. And this is how Allah reunites Musa with the mother. Now, in Suratul Qasas, chapter 28 of the Qur'an, verse 12, Allah says about Musa, "Wa harramna 'alaihee maradh'a min qabal (28:12), and we made it haram for Musa, we made it forbidden for Musa to drink milk from any other mother from before). OK. Now, what would have happened if Musa would have drunk from any other woman? He would never have found his mother. For him to find his mother, he had to stay loyal to the original source from which he drank that milk. Now.

So as long as we are attached, as long as we are addicted to other than Allah to illusions, we will not find Allah because we are drinking now from a source other than the original source that we were attached to that we had drunk from. That is why we don't find Allah. For Musa to go back to his mother. In Arabic the word umm is mother, but umm is also your source. So for Musa to go back to his mother, he must not drink from any other woman for us to find our source we must not be addicted and be in love with anything other than Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala. Now here there is still another question. Musa, alayhi assalam, was a baby, how did he know not to drink from other women? We might say maybe Jibra'eel was there pushing his face away, stopping him from drinking. Or we might say he's a nabee. Maybe he had that knowledge within him. Isa, alayhi assalam, spoke from Cradle, maybe Musa knew, possibly. But there is a verse in Qur'an that hints at this. Before chapter 28, verse 12, if you go up a little bit chapter 28, verse seven, Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala tells us wa aohaina illa ummee Musa unardh'eehee, fi idha khiftee 'alaihee fi al-kehee fil yawm (28:7) and We revealed to the mother of Musa give him milk first nurse him thereafter when you fear for his life, then put him in the river.

Now, normally, Allah does not send wahi to mothers, He does not send a revelation to mothers to nurse their children. It is natural, it is tabee'i. Secondly, it is common sense that any mother would have done this without being told by God to do so. Today, an ordinary mother, if she was leaving home and she knew she will not be able to feed the baby immediately, she will think, let me feed the baby so the baby will not be hungry until the next time I can feed the baby. So it is logical that the mother of Musa even Allah would have simply told her, put him in the river, she would have nursed him first before putting him into the river. But some of the mystics who look at the the the irfani meaning of this verse, they say that when Allah told her give him milk first, what he meant was let him taste the original first so that he will know the difference when he goes down. If Musa had not tasted his mother's milk, he would not have been able to judge what is his mother's milk, what is not his mother's milk. If you had not tasted the love of Allah at some point, then you would have been satisfied with other addictions and attachments. The reason nothing satisfies you, the reason nothing pleases you is because you have tasted your original love. Fitrat Allahi allati fatara an-nas 'alaiha, la-tabdeela li-khalqillah(30:30) That verse of Surah Rum that we have been talking about.

Your fitra, your natural disposition that cannot change is that before He sent you here, He has made you taste His love so you can change jobs, you can change careers, you can change relationships. You can do what you want. Nothing will make you happy except Allah. You have tasted that, it is in your fitra, just awakened that fitra. You will see that after that you will not want anything else.

That is why Rasul Allah, sallallahu alayhi wa 'aali wa sallam [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad] said: Kullu mouldhin youladin 'ala fitratin Islam, every child that is born is born on the fitra of Islam, is born on that idea of wanting to worship a higher being, of surrendering to Allah, of being in love with Allah. Then it is his parents that alter him and train him differently and teach him to bow before idols and teach him to believe that God has a son and teach him other things that take him away from being attached to one and only one his Lord. So it seems as if we tasted something. That is why nothing makes us happy except this and Allah doesn't hide it from us. In Surat al Ra'd, which is Chapter 13 of the Qur'an, verse 28, He tells us very clearly "'alla bi dhikree llahi tatma'een al-qulub (13:28) it is low and behold let it be known to you, it is only the remembrance of Allah that will give you peace and tranquility. 'alla bi dhikree Illah tatme'een al-qulub. We know this, but we're still looking for it here and there and it will take its time.

So what happens is we turn our face to an addiction. Then we realize this is just a pacifier, there's no milk in this. Then we go to another addiction. Well, this is milk, but it's too watered down, it's not the real thing. And we keep turning and everything turns out to be false. Initially when a child is young because it has more tabee'a and less fitra and fitra is not mature, fitra is easily fooled in the child. So it follows tabee'a, everything that the tabee'a says, "I want this, this will make me happy" fitra goes along. Tabee'a says, I want this. This will make me always happy. I won't want anything after this fitra goes along because it is not mature. But in time fitra learns these are just pacifiers. This is not the real thing. That is when fitra wakes up. That is when I keep following my addictions. But within me something says, you are wasting time, you are wasting life. How long are you going to continue like this? You are causing me pain. Time is running out. Your body is going to collapse. It's going to die out. It's going to leave this world. Evolve me turn to Allah. Give me my true love. Your fitra is screaming for its true love, but we are denying it because of these addictions and attachments. And so every morning I get up, I have a God, I have an attachment. It might be an addiction to food, for example. And this God, this desire for food grabs me by the neck and says, give me food, feed me and like a slave, like a dog on a leash, I follow my addiction.

When I choose Allah over my addiction, I remove that leash. I tell my tabee'a you are not my god. Innee baree'un min ma'tishrikun, like Ibrahim said, "I will not worship this and that, my god is Allah. He is the only one I will be a slave to, because by being his slave I am free. I'm not chained, I am not imprisoned." So I may have a Ph.D., I may be very smart, I may be a psychologist, I may have studied in a house for 20, 30 years. If I am addicted to anything and we all are addicted to something or the other, that is why we are not all enlightened. If I'm addicted to anything, I am not true to my fitra and I have not experienced real love for Allah, Subhana Wa Ta'ala and a number of you have asked me this question already that you have been talking about tabee'a and fitra, tabee'a and fitra. How do we start? Where do we go? What is the first step? And in the last lecture, insha'Allah, I will try and explain this in more detail. But this is a starting point.

You want to experience the love of Allah, you want spirituality, you want to move to fitra, you want to become a butterfly. Go home and ask yourself, what is my biggest addiction right now? And then give it up. It will not be easy, there will be withdrawal symptoms because tabee'a will fight not to come out of the cocoon, tabee'a does not want to leave the cave. Tabee'a does not want to come out of the flowerpot tabee'a does not want to come out of the greenhouse, but give it up. You will not see the connection right now, but you will see this difference. Then look for another addiction, then look for a third one. Then when you think you are free of addictions, look for a fourth one. And as you do that, you will liberate yourself. And that is the path to becoming fitra oriented. And insha'Allah, we will talk about this in much more detail towards the end in the conclusion and in the coming nights, insha'Allah. If you can recite a Salwaat ala Muhammad [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad] So we stop here for tonight, insha'Allah, and then we continue tomorrow, if you can recite one more salawat ala Muhammad [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad]

Tonight is the sixth night of Muharram al-Haram, the year 1433 A.H. We have been talking of these enlightened beings in Karbala who are completely fitra oriented, who transcended all limitations of the human body. A lot of times we say to ourselves, I wish I was in Karbala, but we know that if I was standing in front of my Imam and he was praying and I saw an arrow coming towards me, a sharp object coming towards my eye or my chest, instinctively I will move, tabee'a wants to survive. It will move. Who are these men who could oppose the body's nature, the instinct within them, and say, I will take it in my chest. These are beings that are truly the most beautiful butterflies that the human race has produced. And we have been talking about the ashab of Sayyid a-Shuhada' until last night.

Tonight we begin talking about the family of Aba Abdillah, the Banu Hashim. Out of the 72 shuhada of Karbala, 18 of them were the children of Zahra', alayha assalam, were from the family of Rasul Allah. And in particular tonight we want to pay our respects to the two sons of Zaynab, alayha assalam, and Abdullah bin Ja'far. A lot of times when we pay our respects to Sayyida Zaynab, alayha assalam, we do so after Ashura from Sham Ghareeba onwards, as if her suffering began then. But there is a reason why she is Umm al-Mas'ib even Husayn is not called Abu al-Mas'ib. Because from one perspective, from one perspective, with all respect to my imam, he is Ma'soom. His ma'rifa is higher in one respect. The suffering of Zaynab, alayha assalam, cannot be compared, that is why she's called Umm al-Mas'ib. She is the one who started the 'aza' of Husayn, she is the Bani of 'aza. And her attachment to her brother is not just with Karbala when she offers her sons in sacrifice. It starts from her infancy. I have heard some of the khutaba some of the arbab of 'aza' saying, that when Zaynab, alayha assalam, was born, when she would cry as a baby and become restless and no one could calm her, they would give her in the hands of Husayn. When Husayn would hold Zaynab. She would keep quiet.

You can imagine how attached she was to her brother. When Amir al-Mu'minin, alayhi assalam, married his daughter, Zaynab, alayha assalam, to Abdullah bin Ja'far he put a condition in the marriage contract, "Oh, Abdullah! I give you my daughter, Zaynab, on one condition you will never separate her from Husayn. Whereever Husayn goes, Zaynab will go." It is as if just like Ali had prayed for Abbas for the day of Ashura, Zahra, alayha assalam, had prayed for Zaynab. And if Abbas brought his brothers and his sons, then Zaynab also brought her two sons. Abdullah ibn Ja'far could not come to Karbala because of his illness. He sent these two sons as his sacrifice to Karbala. And we are told that on the night of Ashura, after everyone on the camp knew that the next day a battle will ensue and no one will survive and all the men will be martyred. When Imam Husayn, alayhi assalam, was walking around the khayam, amongst the things he witnessed is he came to a tent where he saw Zaynab sitting with the 'Aun and Muhammad and saying, "My sons 'Aun and Muhammad, do not forget you are the grandsons of Ja'far at-Tayyar. You are the grandson of Ali ibn Abi Talib. When the men go for jihad tomorrow, make sure you do not remain behind. Do not make me feel ashamed before my mother, Fatima al-yawm al-qiyama."

And 'Awn and Muhammad are proud of their descent, say this to their mother, "Oh mother, just give us permission from our Uncle Husayn, you will see the kind of jihad we do." These are young boys, these are nine and 11 year old boys, they are not trained in jihad, but they are filled with zeal. When the morning of Ashura comes and one after the other, the Ashab go and the Ashab have gone, Aliun al-Akbar has gone, and now the younger children are going. Qasim has gone. 'Aun and Muhammad had come several times to Husayn to ask for permission. But some of the Arbab of 'Azaz say that every time they came, Husayn turned his face away. He did not give the children a chance to ask, and because they could not come directly to their uncle, they went away disappointed. They came again. Finally, they came to their mother. "Amma every time we go to our father, our uncle, he turns his face away." Now look at Zaynab, how you will not see a mother preparing her child for death the way the mothers of Karbala' did. The books of Maqtal says, Zaynab put new cloths on them first she dressed them up. Then she put Kuhol on their eyes, then she gave them their swords in their hands, then she said, "Come with me to my brother Husayn."

"Husayn, you will have to accept these are sacrifices from Zaynab." And Husayn resisted and said to Zaynab, "Oh Zaynab, this is these are the sons you will need after me." She said, "No, you will have to take them as sacrifice." Husayn said "Abdullah bin Ja'far may not be radhi, may not be pleased with this." She said, "Abdullah himself has asked me to sacrifice them on his behalf." When she persisted and insisted then Husayn finally accepted and gave in. He hugged his nephews. He called Abbas. He said, 'Oh Abbas, prepare these two boys for jihad. Prepare our nephews for jihad." How young these boys were. Abbas is teaching 'Aun and Muhammad. "Look 'Aun, when someone attacks you from the right side, this is how you fight. Look, Muhammad, when somebody comes from maisara, this is how you move your sword. If someone comes from mai'mana, this is how you will fight."

They are so young that Abbas and Husayn had to lift them to put them on their horses. And tarbia of Zaynab, tarbia of Zaynab. Some of the Arbab 'Aza' said that before they left, Zaynab called them, she kissed them on the forehead. She said "Aun and Muhammad, remember one thing. If you go close to Furat, do not drink any water from Furat. Sakina is too thirsty, 'Aliun al-Asghar is still thirsty, do not go close to Furat, do not even look at the water of Furat."

This is Zaynab sending her sons. I have no idea when 'Aun and Muhammad were leaving and looking back at their mother, how Zaynab left her sons going. 'Aun and Muhammad went into the battlefield for jihad. Zaynab went back into the tents. Every shaheed went out, their mother stood outside. Qasim went for jihad. Farwas stood at the tents, Zaynab went inside and sat on the mussalah 'Aun and Muhammad begin their jihad, Husayn in 'Abbas are watching the two boys fight, the two boys begin fighting in unison.

If a coward came from behind to attack 'Aun Muhammad would say, "Oh 'Aun, look out behind you." If someone committed to Muhammad, 'Aun would call out to Muhammad. Muhammad was finally struck when he fell down. He called up his brother 'Aun. 'Aun called out to him and said, "La ta'jala akhee, my brother Muhammad, wait for me." When 'Aun fell, he called out to his uncle who Husayn, Ya 'Amma, idrikna, ya 'Amma idrikna, ya 'Amma idrikna."

When he called Husayn, the books of 'aza' say the colour on Husayn's face changed. Husayn became pale. Husayn and Abbas went to the battlefield to bring 'Aun and Muhammad back. Now Sheikh 'Abbas Qummi says in Nafasu al-Ma'mun, he says every shaheed that came back to the khayam, every shaheed that came back to the when khayam, when Husayn would bring the body to the khayam, the women would come out, the women would come out and they would call out and cry out,"Ya walada! Wa kunna tanaseera, wa Qasima wa 'Alia. Sheikh 'Abbas Qummi says, "When the women would come out and all the women would come out at the front and the first would be Zaynab, Zaynab would be leading all the women, but when Aun and Muhammad were brought, Zaynab would not come out. Zaynab does not want Husayn to be ashamed. Zaynab was in sujud, saying: Rabbana taqabbal min hadhal qurban.

Zaynab did not cry over 'Aun and Muhammad. Shame-Ghreeba came. The next day the 11th of Muharram came. 'Umar ibn al-Sa'ad, ordered his army, "Before we take the women to Kufa, take them to the battlefield, let them see their, let them see their family on the battlefield so that it increases their grief and sorrow."

The women were brought to the battlefield that were laid down of Karbala'. Farwah threw herself at Qasim, Umm Kulthoom threw herself at 'Abbas, Zaynab did not go 'Aun and Muhammad. Zaynab went to the body of Husayn. She cried: Wa Husayna! Wa Akha! Wa madhluma!

Zaynab went to Kufa, she did not cry for 'Aun and Muhammad. Zaynab went to Sham, she did not cry in the prison for 'Aun and Muhammad. The women were released from the prison, the heads of the shuhada' were brought. Zaynab did not cry for 'Aun and Muhammad. Anyone who saw the heads of Muhammad and 'Aun asked: is the mother of this son alive? Zaynab did not cry for her sons.

Zaynab went back to Medina. Zaynab went to the grave of her jadd [grandfather]. She cried "Ya Rasul Allah, Zaynab has saved Islam and come back. She did not complain ya Rasul Allah, 'I lost my 'Aun and Muhammad." Zaynab went to the grave of her mother, she said to her mother. Yes, she said, "Ya Amma, ropes were tied on my hands like a prisoner, ya Amma, if there was no mahram here I would my ridha and show you the lashes on my back." But Zaynab did not say, "Ya Umma I lost 'Aun and Muhammad." Zaynab went to the house of Husayn and cried.

Finally, Abdullah ibn Ja'far said, "I went home one day, I saw a dhareefa, I saw an old lady standing outside my house, her back was bent, she had niqab on her face, I came to her, 'Ya amatallah, ha hakeem min hajjah? oh maid of God, do you have any wish?.' The lady removed her niqab, 'ya Ibn 'Abdillah, you did not recognize Zaynab? Zaynab's back is bent, Zaynab's head has turned white. 'Abdillah, accept condolences for your sons 'Aun and Muhammad.'"

I have no idea how Zaynab walked into the house. But when Zaynab saw the rooms of 'Aun and Muhammad that is when Zaynab cried for her sons. Wa 'Auna, wa Muhammada, wa Husayna. Matam al-Husayn.