Lady Ma'suma Qum & Raising Children

Bismillahi al-Rahman al-Rahim. La hawla wa la quwwata illah bi Llahi al- 'Aliyy al-'Adheem. Al-hamdulil-Lahi Rabbi 'l-Alameen, wa salla Allahu 'ala Sayyidina wa Nabiyyina abil Qasimi al-Mustafa Muhammad [Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'aali Muhammad] wa 'alihi, at-tayyibin, at-tahirin. La siyama baqiyyat Illah fi 'l-ardhin, ajal Allahu Ta'ala farajahu ash-Sharif, fa ja'alana min a'waanihi wa ansaarihi.

First, I congratulate you and all lovers of Ahlul Bayt 'alayhimu as-salaam, for the birth anniversary of Lady Ma'sumah salamu Allahi 'alayha. We are at the beginning of the month of Dhul qa'dah, a sacred month. We have also birth of Imam al-Ridha, 'alayhi as-salam, on the 11th of Dhul Qa'dah. And some scholars say that this month and the first 10 days of month of Dhul Hijjah, which is the next month form very good opportunity for observing Arba'in for 40 nights, if you want to do special a'mal, special muraqabah, so this is a very good time, I hope inshaAllah we can benefit from this month, inshaAllah.

Some of our KLC families, Al-Hamduli-Llah have had their children born recently, so there was a suggestion to have an event to share this joy with the KLC family and have some reflections on children and upbringing children. And my suggestion was to have it when we have the birth of Lady Fatima al-Ma'sumah, because it is close to that, so they kindly agreed to wait till we have the birth of Lady Ma'sumah. So today we also celebrate these new additions to KLC family and I think at some point we are going to hear something about their names and their families, I think, brother [second speaker- InshaAllah, Dr. Faruq will take us through that portion].Yes, yes, so we also are grateful for these new children born to KLC family. And InshaAllah, I will speak in two parts uh, very briefly, first part about Lady Ma'sumah, second part about upbringing children again, very briefly.

Regarding Lady Fatima Ma'sumah, salamu Allahi 'alayha, Al-Hamduli-Llah, we had some opportunities in the past to talk about her and also we had those four lectures in the Shrine of Lady Ma'sumah, which later were put into the book, 'The second Fatima' and Al-Hamduli-Llah the book is now available also in Arabic. One of the brothers from Kuwait has translated to Arabic and those who have read the book or listened to the lectures, they know that, in my humble opinion, Lady Fatimat al- Ma'sumah, salamu Allahi 'alayha, has a very special role in, uh, preparation of the Shi'ah community for end of time.

She is not a mother of any individual physically as far as we know, she did not marry, but she is a mother of millions of Shi'ah because through her love, her warmth, her support, her guidance, her light, many, many generations of scholars have learnt in the city of Qum and have taught and have published and we hope that this would increase before coming of Imam Mahdi 'ajjal Allahu Ta'ala farajahu ash-sSharif.

Therefore, when Imam Al-Sadiq 'alayhi as-salam, said, 'Through her intercession, through her Shafa'ah, our Shi'ah will enter heaven.' This makes very, uh, clearly sense because we know that to benefit from someone's shafa'ah requires connecting to that person in dunya. If in dunya we have never had any relation with someone, we have never benefitted from someone, we have never listened to someone to improve we are not going to benefit from Shafa'ah of that person.

Shafa'ah is not just manifestation of that benefit because some people think Shafa'ah is just what you have benefitted from someone in the Aakhirah would be manifest as Shafa'ah. No, Shafa'ah is more, Shafa'ah is more, like for example, if I have learned from my teacher many things and based on what I have learned, for example, I get, uh, eighteen out of twenty. This 18 result of 18 is a manifestation of what was my relation with that teacher was, but if the teacher then intercedes and instead of 18, they give me 19 or 20 this extra-this is Shafa'ah.

So Shafa'ah is more than just a manifestation of what we have benefitted from them in dunya but certainly the key for that requirement for Shafa'ah is you must benefit from that person and you must make us you must establish a relation with that person in dunya so that you qualify for their shafa'ah.

So when Imam Al-Sadiq 'alayhi as-salam, says that 'Our Shi'ah will benefit from Shafa'ah of Lady Fatima al-Ma'sumah, this means that the Shi'ah must have benefitted in dunya from the light of this lady. And this means that her impact on the Shi'ah community in large is so massive that all the Shi'ah community would be benefitting from her.

Maybe I read for you that hadith of Imam Ja'far Al-Sadiq 'Alayhi as-salam. Imam Sadiq 'Alayhi as-salam, says I read part of the hadith, 'tuqbadu fi amra'atun min wuldi'- 'A lady from my progeny will be departing from this world, her life will be taken by Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala in the city of Kufa sorry, the city of Qum, 'ismuha Fatimah bintu Musa' Imam Sadiq says- 'The name of that lady is Fatimah, daughter of Musa. Imam Musa is the son of Imam Al-Sadiq and Lady Fatima is grandchild. ' Wa tadkhulu bi shafa'atiha Ahi'ati al-Jannata bi ajma'ihim'- 'All my Shi'ah through her shafa'ah will enter heaven.'

So this is great statement and as far as I remember, we do not have such a statement for any children of Imam and even maybe for imams to have such a statement, at least right now I do not remember. It is a very huge and massive contribution that she must have that would qualify for her rightful shafa'ah.

We say in the Ziyarah of Lady Fatima, 'Ya Fatimah! Tushfa'ili fi al-Jannah! Fa inna laki 'inda Allah sha'nan min ash-sha'n'. She must have permission from Allah, she must have been given a kind of right by Allah to do shafa'ah. 'Fa inna laki 'inda Allahi sha'nan min ash-sha'n', and because of this, we expect her to do shafa'ah for us.

So this is one point that I wanted to share but there are other points about her Ziyaarah, about her relation with the Imam Al-Rida, 'alayhi as-salam, the Imam of the time and other things. But I just wanted to share with you this point that her Shafa'ah for the Shi'ah in the hereafter must be because of her role in improving the condition of the Shi'ah in this world, must be because of the benefit that these people have made from her directly or indirectly, so that they can expect that she would do shafa'ah for them.

The second part of my talk; inshaAllah those who are interested you can refer to the lectures, you can refer to the book Al-Hamduli-Llah. The book is the full text of the book is online on Shi'a, sorry and you can read the whole book, it is a brief and very short.

The second part about 'tarbiyah'. Tarbiyah is a very important, not only topic, but important responsibility and very humbling actually, responsibility. It is a very difficult task because you have difficulty, first of all, in improving yourself. We are not exactly what we like to be, I do not think any of us would be 100 percent happy with himself or herself. Those who are happy with themselves, either they have underestimated their potentials or maybe they are suffering from self-admiration from 'ujb' otherwise we cannot be happy. And we are not certainly happy. More or less, we all know of our problems but now the challenge is more. When we want to make another person able to improve, when we want to do tarbiyah of our children, our student, it is more difficult so it is not something easy.

I would like to share with you a beautiful hadith from Rasul Allah, Salla Allahu alayhi wa alihi wa sallam to make one point at least today. At least if I can explain this point and inshaAllah it settles in our hearts, inshaAllah, that would be a great achievement. So I am not giving you a full lecture on Tarbiyah, I am just trying to make at least one point clear.

Rasul Allah, Salla Allahu alayhi wa alihi wa sallam, is quoted as saying, 'Ilzamu awladakum, wa ahsinu Adabahum, fa inna awladakum hidyatun ilaykum.' 'ilzamu awlaadakum'- can mean look after your children, can mean do not neglect your children, can mean spend time as much as possible with your children. 'ilzamu'- do not let anything separate you and your children as much as you have control.

Sometimes things happen that you have to be away from your children. Sometimes it is for na'udhubi-Llah' inshaAllah no one goes through this but for example, you become ill in the hospital for some days, some weeks you cannot see your children, or you cannot spend that much time with them sometimes for, I do not know, work, etc.. But as long as you are able and you have ability to plan, try to spend time with your children.

Unfortunately, we think that when our children, this is my experience I share with you that I am not saying definitely this goes clearly in our mind, but maybe consciously or unconsciously we think like this, that our children would need us more when they grow up. For example, I may think that my children, when they become 18, 20, 25, 30, 40, they may need me more, they need my attention, my time, my support more.

And now that they are children, we just need to look after them, feed them properly, dress them properly, put them into good school. And the more I can work and save, for example, money or the more, for example, I can do my own studies, etc. It is a saving. Later, when they need me more, I try to make myself available. This is a misconception in the minds of many parents. Some people told me in the past, you know, that for example, they worked almost day and night, especially some immigrants, to save money for their family and children, buy a house for them, you know, save money to send them to good school, etc. but day and night they were working, they were not with the family.

But the fact is this, that the younger they are, the more they need us and the more they benefit from us and the more they appreciate us. And if we spend quality time with quality time with them when they are very young, there is a chance that in future also they may say: father, mother, I need you. I want to talk to you, I want to benefit from your advice, I want to discuss with you.

If we don't give that care and attention when they are very young and want to spend more time with them because now they are more mature and more understanding, I can share with them many things... If we do not spend good time with them in the beginning, at this point, there is already so much of distance between us emotionally, intellectually, socially, that they may not actually find us interesting. They may love us and respect us as parents, but not as someone that they want to talk or benefit from.

So we have made a historical mistake that there is no way to sort it out, to fix it because of that misconception that we thought in future they need us more and in future I can spend more time with them but the fact was that they need you more when they are younger and when they have eyes and ears more open to you and hearts more open to you.

And it is amazing that when they are very young, how much they come to us even sometimes it might be tiring or annoying. You know, you want to do something. You have come home, for example, you want to rest, you want to eat I do not know you want to study. Maybe your child is climbing your shoulder, sometimes you enjoy it, but after some time you feel, no, that it is too much but these are all blessings. And later, if you spend you know time, energy, money, you cannot rebuild this relationship. So for me, this sentence of Rasul Allah is very, very important, amazing. 'Ilzamu awlaadakum'. Especially as early as possible, do not delay this!

'Wa ahsinu Adabakum'. Their education is important, secular education, very important, religious education, very important and necessary but 'Adab' I think is more important because education is something formal. 'Adab' is not formal and is very difficult. If you want to have children which are polite, which have good Akhlaq in the social life, observe good etiquette and manners, it is not easy. To send them for learning, math, chemistry, physics it is easier. Even Islamic education, although it is not always easy, but still it is more manageable. But people have more difficulty when it comes to 'Adab' and we have lots of emphasis about 'Adab'.

To the extent that Amir ul-Mu'minin, 'alayhi as-salam, says in Nahju-l-Balaghah: ' La miratha ka al-Adab.'- 'You cannot inherit anything better than 'Adab'. Or you cannot leave as your legacy like Adab. Adab of this person with Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala, with his parents, with his brothers and sisters, with friends, with teacher, with neighbors, with 'khalqu Allah', with how to deal with animals, birds, etc. with environment there are all different types of 'Adab'. Adab of studying, how to study, Adab for sleeping, eating, drinking, all this 'Adab', these are very important.

And unfortunately in the modern life and in more industrial and you know, more modern societies 'Adab' are very marginalized. There is not that much attention to 'Adab'. You want to eat, eat. You can eat any way you like. You can eat anything you can eat anyway. And this even goes to many private things, you can do it anyway, anywhere. Just get, uh, uh, be careful not to get into some illegal activities. You want to come out nakedly? Yeah. Maybe almost nakedly you can come out. You want to have sexual relation on the street... So unfortunately, 'Adab' you want to talk to your teacher, your supervisor, any way, you can treat him like your friend, like your younger brother.

Adab, unfortunately, are not that much emphasized. On the minimum we can say they are not emphasized on in this modern life. And we have to preserve this 'Adab' and my humble understanding that actually 'Adab' are very, very important, and if we have 'Adab', then inshaAllah, other good things also would come. But if we do not have 'Adab' suppose, this person is full of knowledge, if we ask him any book on Aqa'id, on Akhlaq, on fiqh he can answer. but if he does not have 'Adab', if he is not polite, does not have manners, I do not think this person is valuable and would cause more harm than benefit.

So 'ilzamu awlaadakum wa ahsinu adabahum fa inna awlaadakum hadiyyatun ilaykum.'-'your children are gifts given to you.' You have to be grateful and you have to benefit from this gift and also preserve it and maintain it in a good condition. And if a gift becomes later something that would annoy me or other people, this is my mis-performance. A gift should be always a gift, not that a gift becomes later something that would annoy us or others. OK, I stop here.

I pray to Allah, Subhana wa Ta'ala, to help all parents with their responsibility of tarbiyah of their children. And I pray to Allah, Subhana wa Ta'ala, to bless all the children, to have good manners, good etiquettes, and to know how to respect their parents, and benefit from their parents, and be prepared for their own InshaAllah turn in future. If you are good children, inshaAllah, you would be also good parents Bi-idhni Allah.