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['Aalim Network QR] Platonic Dating

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|       In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the All-Merciful       |\
|  Greeting of Allah be upon Muhammad and the pure members of his House |\
Assalamu Alaykum
The following question was kindly answered by Mulla Bashir Rahim

Ummulbanin Merali

Question:  There is a girl who really likes me and wants to go out on date
with her, and I'm really good friends with her, almost best friends, so if
I said no, I would be abandoning our friendship.  Would it be all right to
go on a date, without doing anything haram i.e., kissing, etc? 

ANSWER: This question raises important issues which, I expect, will interest
a large number of our youths.

Allow me first of all to quote some relevant passages from the English
translation of the Taudhiul Mas'eel of Ayatullah al Fuqaha Seestani.
In masallaah 2443 (p.450) it is stated as follows:

To look at the body of a woman who would not care for hijaab, even if she
were advised, is not haraam, provided that it does not lead to sinful act or
sexual pleasure, and  excitement, nor it is with that intention; and in this
rule, there is no distinction between a Muslim and a non-Muslim woman; and
also between those parts, like their faces, their hands which they normally
do not cover, and other parts of their bodies.

It will be observed that the above rule is subject to the important
condition that the looking must NOT be for sexual excitement. Pleasure
would, even platonic, has a tendency of leading to sexual excitement.

A friendship with a young lady must be distinguished from "dating" as that
term is generally understood in the Western culture. Firstly it implies that
the parties concerned might be alone (unchaperoned) in an enclosed place
like a room or a car. Secondly it could lead to some form of innocent
physical contact. These are not permitted save in very exceptional
circumstances, and definitely not in furtherance of any friendship or as a
demonstration of any platonic relation.

Alhamdulillah, Islam has a solution. The parties can contract mut'ah the
terms of which would specify that the object is to create mahrimiyyat in
furtherance of the friendship but excluding, if the parties so wish, any
carnal physical contact.

I trust I have adequately dealt with the question but if there are any
further questions please do not hesitate to forward them through the usual

May Allah in His infinite Mercy always protect us from sins.

With salaams and du'aas from an humble servant of Ahlul Bayt and their

Bashir Rahim.  

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