Verses & Traditions About Family
Introduction
The family is the primary unit of the community, the initial cell at the institutional level, and the essential bridge upon which the former generations of the native land cross to give birth to future generations.
In truth, the family is the fundamental social unit through which the new born child is first introduced to the world outside its mother’s womb. Because of this protected environment, the child learns the fundamentals of his language, values, norms of behavior, habits, psychological and social leniencies, as well as many factors of his character.
In short, the basic family unit is an environment of cooperation between a man and a woman and the domain of the child’s earliest upbringing.
The family, according to the Islamic concepts, is not a mere means of satisfying animal instincts, nor is a family’s home merely an abode for sleep. In fact, it represents an educational environment both for spiritual sublimation and for intellectual development. It is a place where there is a mutual noble sentiment particularly between husband and wife and among the members of the family in general.
The family in Islam is built upon a holy bond and a mutual contract of tranquility, love, and kindness between two hearts.
The family comes into existence as a consequence of a legal marriage, which is one of Allah’s sanctioned traditions in creation and formation. It is a common and regular practice to all human creatures.
Marriage and the family in Islam should be studied and understood in the context of the scheme of life Islam wants to establish. They cannot be understood in isolation. The concept of man and the family, which Islam gives, is in conflict with the concept of man and the family that is prevalent in the West today. We think the disintegration of the family in the West is, in parts, a result of confusion about the place and the role of the family in society and about the purpose of life itself. If the objectives and values of life are not set right, further disintegration of this and other institutions cannot be prevented.
Marriage in Islam is not just the ceremony or the white piece of paper. A marriage is when two people give their hearts to each other and vow to be committed to each other, to give the promise that their lips will be the only ones each other ever touch, to vow that their hearts, bodies, and souls will always be as one.
To share, communicate and truly love each other and be there for each other until one or both pass away. Marriage is the hardest job besides raising kids that anyone will ever have.
Marriage is not a game or even a way of life, it is two hearts, two souls, two people that have left their old body’s soul and mind behind them and made one body, one soul, and one heart.
Islam splendidly urges the building of families and marriage. Prophet Muhammad (S) says, “Marry and take wives for this increase your means of living.”
This part of the book is intended to gather some of the interesting verses of holy Qur’an and some of the traditions of prophet Muhammad (S) and his pure progeny (‘a) about the marriage and family. I hope this traditions be useful for you, so that you become more familiar with the preferred view of Islam and the value it puts on family.
Traditions are arranged in four sections:
1. Marriage
2. The husband’s treatment of his wife
3. The wife’s treatment of her husband
4. The treatment of parents of their children
Marriage
1. Help For Marriage, A General Duty
Almighty Allah says,
“Marry off those who are single among you … If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His grace, and Allah is all-bounteous, all-knowing.” (Qur’an; 24:32)
2. Rewards For Helping For Marriage
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“He who arranges for his brother in faith to get married with a woman whom he takes comfort in; Allah will marry him with a Houri (beautiful young virgin lady who takes care of men in paradise).” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 11, p. 192, no. 77)
3. Allah’s Gift For Peace (Philosophy Of Marriage)
Almighty Allah says,
“And of His signs is that He created for you mates from your own selves that you may take comfort in them, and He ordained affection and mercy between you.” (Qur’an; 30:21)
4. Prophets Had Family
Almighty Allah says,
“Certainly, We have sent apostles before you, and We appointed for them wives and descendants.” (Qur’an; 13:38)
5. Purity, The Result Of Marriage
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Whoever wants to meet Allah pure and immaculate should meet Him accompanied by a spouse.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p. 220, no. 18)
6. The Beloved Institution
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“There is no institution in Islam more beloved and dearer to Allah than marriage.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p. 222, no. 40)
7. Marriage For The Sake Of Allah
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Whoever marries for Allah and for Allah took a person into marriage, deserves guardianship and love of Allah.” (Mahajjah al-Bayda’, v. 3, p. 54)
8. Marriage & Satan
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“When any young person gets married at the prime of his youth, his inner Satan cries out in rage, Woe unto him! He has secured his faith against me.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, no. 44441)
9. Marriage & Prayer
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“A married person sleeping is better in the sight of Allah than an unmarried person spending his day in the state of fasting and his night in prayer.” (Bihar al- Anwar, v. 103, p.221, no. 25)
10. Marriage & Increasing In Sustenance
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Take up a wife for verily that will bring about an increase in your sustenance.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p.217, no. 1)
11. Marriage & Moral
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Marry those who are single among you for verily Allah will develop their moral traits [through marriage], He will increase their sustenance for them, and will enhance their integrity and gallantry”. (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p. 222, no. 38)
12. Marriage & Help Of Allah
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Allah had made it obligatory to himself to help those who are married to preserve their chastity.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, 44443)
13. Marriage & Death
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The worst ones from among your dead are the unmarried.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p. 221, no. 34)
14. Intercession In Marriage
Imam Ali (‘a) said:
“The best intercession is to make intercession for two people to get married.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p. 222, no. 41)
15. Urgency In Marriage
Imam Al-Ar-Ridha’ (‘a) said:
“The archangel Gabriel descended to the Messenger of Allah (S) and told him, O Muhammad, verily your lord extends salutations on you and says, Verily the virgins from among your women are as fruits on a tree, which when they ripen must be plucked otherwise the sun rots them and wind alters them. So when young women reach marriageable age they have no other recourse apart from husbands, otherwise they will not be safe from corruption.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 16, p. 223, no. 22)
16. The Importance Of Faith When Selecting A Spouse
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Do not marry women for their beauty because it may corrupt them and do not marry them for their wealth, because it may cause rebellion, so look to marry women for their faith.” (Sunan Ibn Maja’, v. 1, p. 597, no. 1859)
17. The Genes Have Effect
The Prophet (S) said:
“Marry into a good tribe for verily what is bred -in-the-bone will come out in the flesh.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, no. 44559)
18. Don’t Be Afraid Of Poverty!
Imam Ar-Ridha’ (‘a) said:
“When someone comes to you with a proposal of marriage and you are well pleased with his faith and his ethic, then accept his proposal. Moreover, do not be concerned if he is poor for Allah says:
“Allah will suffice each of them out of His bounty” (Qur’an; 4:130).
And He says,
“If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His grace.’” (Qur’an; 24:32). - (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p. 372, no. 7)
19. Choose For Your Seed
The Prophet (S) said:
“Carefully choose for your seed, for verily women give birth to children who resemble their own brothers and sisters.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, no. 44557)
20. Do Not Lead To Adultery
Imam Ar-Ridha’ (‘a) said:
“Beware of the marriage with an alcoholic; if you do not do so, it likes you lead to adultery.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 79, p. 142, no. 55)
21. The Verdure Growing In Manure
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Beware of the verdure growing in manure. When asked what verdure growing in manure was, he replied, it is the beautiful woman that comes from an evil environment.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p. 232, no. 10)
22. Do Not Marry A Stupid Girl
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Beware of marrying a stupid girl for her company is a waste and her offspring are [like] hyenas.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p. 237, no. 35)
23. Accepting Wedding Invitations
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“When you are invited to a wedding banquet, do accept.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, no. 44617)
24. The Worst Food
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The worst kind of food is the wedding feast to which the rich are invited and the poor are ignored.” (Nahj al-Fasaha, p. 372)
25. Announcing One’s Marriage
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Publicize the marriage, but conceal the proposal of the engagement.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, no. 44532)
26. Wedding In Mosque
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Announce this marriage and let it take place in the mosque.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, no. 44536)
27. Trying For Marriage
The Prophet (S) said:
“Anybody who tries to marry off two believers to each other, Allah will marry him a lot of Houris in paradise and the reward for each step of him in this way is like the reward of fasting and praying in one year.” (Thawab al-Amal, p.340, no. 1)
28. We Do Not Get Married
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Allah damns those who say, we do not get married.” (al-Ferdos, v. 3, p.446, no. 5446)
29. A King
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Anybody who marries off a daughter Allah will make him a king in the Day of Resurrection.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, no. 45383)
30. Dead Singles
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“If the dead singles came bake to this world they would marry.” (Awali al-Laali, v. 3, p. 283, no. 15)
31. Should Marry
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“O, young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes from casting (evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting for it is a means of controlling sexual desire.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, v. 5, p. 1950, no. 4779)
32. Evil Thoughts
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Anybody who refuses marriage out of fear of poverty, he entertained evil thought about almighty Allah. Allah says, "If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His grace.” (Al-Kafi, v. 5, p. 331, no. 5)
33. Seek Aliment
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Seek aliment through marriage.” (Makarim al-Akhlaq, v. 1, no. 43, p. 1459)
34. The Greatest Blessing Of Marriage
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The greatest blessing of marriage is that it is less expensive.” (Musnad ibn Hanbal, v. 9, p. 365, no. 24583)
35. Announce Your Marriage
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Announce your marriage and celebrate it and play music in it.” (Amali al-Tousi, p. 518, no. 1138)
36. Marry At Night
Imam Ar-Ridha’ (‘a) said:
“Marry at night because Allah has made the night for rest and the real rest is to be found in your wives.” (Al-Kafi, v. 5, p. 366, no. 1)
37. Closest People To The Messenger Of Allah (S)
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The closest of you to me is the one who is best in character and is excellent to his family.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 71, p. 387, no. 34)
Husband’s Treatment Of His Wife
38. Divorce For Committing Adultery
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The archangel Gabriel brought down so much advice with regard to the [treatment of the] woman that I thought divorcing her must never be an option unless she has committed adultery.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v.103, p. 253, no. 58)
39. I Love You!
The Prophet (S) said:
“A man’s telling his wife "I love you" never leaves her heart.” (al-Kafi, v. 5, p. 569, no. 59)
40. The Rights Of The Wife
Imam Sajjad (‘a) said:
“The right of your wife (zawja) is that you know that Allah has made her repose and a comfort for you; so know that she is Allah’s favor toward you, so you should honor her and treat her gently. You must treat her with compassion, feed her, and clothe her and whenever her ignorance troubles you, you should pardon her.” (Man La Yahduruhu al-Faqih, v. 2, p. 621, no. 3214)
41. Serving One’s Wife & Longevity
Imam As-Sadiq (‘a) said:
“Anyone who is kind to his wife, Allah will provide him with a long life.” (al-Khisal, p. 21, no. 88)
42. The Best To His Wife
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Be careful of two weak groups, orphan and woman; so that the best of you is the one who is best with his wife.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 79, p. 268, no. 5)
43. Being With Family, Better Than Worshipping
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“A man’s sitting beside his family is more beloved in the sight of Allah than his spending the night in worship in this mosque of mine.” (Tanbih al-Khawater, v. 2, p. 122)
44. A Morsel Of Food To Wife’s Mouth
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Verily the man who lifts a morsel of food to his wife’s mouth is well rewarded.” (al-Mahajjat al-Baydha, v. 3, p. 70)
45. Mistreating One’s Spouse And Deserving Of The Beating
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“I am truly astonished at the man who beats his wife when he is more deserving of the beating than her.” (Jamia al-Akhbar, p. 447, no. 1259)
46. Obeying One’s Wife
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“One who obeys his wife in acts of disobedience to Allah; He will cast him into Fire.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p. 228, no. 27)
47. Spending On One’s Family & Pleasing Allah
Imam Sajjad (‘a) said:
“Verily the one whom Allah is most pleased with from among you is the one who is the most generous towards his dependents.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 78, p. 136, no. 13)
48. Buying A Gift For The Family
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“He who goes to the market and buys a gift to take back to his family is as one who is taking charity to a group of needy people. He should begin [giving gifts] to the female members of his family before the males.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 104, p. 69, no. 2)
49. A Garment
Almighty Allah says,
“They (wives) are a garment for you, and you (husbands) are a garment for them.” (Qur’an; 2: 187)
50. Loving Wife & Faith
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The servant of Allah, who increases in belief, will increase in love for his spouse.” (Al-Jafariyat, p. 90)
51. The Ethics Of The Prophets
Imam Ar-Ridha’ (‘a) said:
“Cleanliness, using perfume, shaving the hair and mating frequently are the ethics of the prophets.” (Al-Kafi, v. 5, p. 567, no. 50)
52. Honourable Manner
Almighty Allah says,
“Consort with them (your wives) in an honorable manner.” (Qur’an; 4:19)
53. Morality Of The Prophet (S) With His Wives
The wife of holy Prophet (S) said when speaking about the morality of the Prophet:
“He was the best of people in character, He did not revile, shout loudly, nor did he answer evil with evil but He forgave and overlooked.” (Musnad ibn Hanbal, v. 10, p. 75, no. 26049)
54. Nice Association
Imam As-Sadiq (‘a) said:
“Man needs three characters in order to live peacefully in his house with his dependents. He should carry them out even if they are not in his nature: nice association, moderate affluence, and reasonable jealousy.” (Tuhaf al-’Uqul, p. 322)
55. Do Not Approach
Imam Ar-Ridha’ (‘a) said:
“Do not approach (your wife) when you are tired.” (Makarim al-Akhlaq, v. 1, p. 393, no. 1328)
56. Does Not Insult Save Depraved
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The best of you is the best to his family, and I’m the best to my family. The one who honors women is an honorable man, and the one who insults them, is a wretched.” (Nahj al-Fasaha, p. 472)
57. Fragrant Flower
Imam Ali (‘a) said:
“A Female is a pleasant-smelling flower, not a servant, so in every situation tolerate her, and be a good companion to her for then your life will be pleasing.” (Man La Yahdhur al-Faqih, v. 3, p. 556, no. 4911)
58. The Best Men
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The best of men among you is the one who is righteous, pure, and generous, has cheerful attitude towards his parents and does not make his dependents needy to others.” (Al-Kafi, v. 2, p. 57, no. 7)
59. Mad Of Anger!
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Seeing a man enraged in anger, beating his poor wife, detests me.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, V. 16, P. 377, H. 44981)
60. Respecting One’s Wife
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“My brother Gabriel, (‘a) used to advise me about women to such an extent, that I thought the husband does not have even the right to say "Fie" to his wife. He told me: "O Mohammad, be wary of Allah about women for they are trusts from Allah unto you. Be kind with them and satisfy their heart to stay with you. It is not lawful for you to take back anything you have given your wives unless with their content and permission.” (Mustadrak al-Wasa’il, v. 14, p. 252, no. 16627)
61. With Prophets
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Everyone who is trying to earn a living for his dependents, whether in poverty or wealth, will be with the prophets on the Day of Judgment. And by this I mean he will be in their rank.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, v. 16, p. 282, no. 44479)
62. Do Not Encroach Upon Your Family
The Prophet (S) said:
“The best men of my Ummah are those who do not encroach upon their families, are kind to them, and do not oppress them.” (Makarim al-Akhlaq, V.1, P. 468, H. 1597)
63. Seven Hundred Times
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“If a man earn some money and spend it for his dependents, for every Dollar he spends on his family Allah will reward him seven hundred times.” (Makarim al-Akhlaq, p. 216)
64. To Adorn
The Prophet (S) said:
“A Man’s duty to his wife is as the woman’s duty to her husband. He should adorn himself for his wife as she should adorn herself for him as long as they do not commit any sins.” (Al-Ferdos, v. 5, p. 521, 8953)
65. Their Wives Came To Adultery
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Wash your clothes, shave your hair, brush your teeth, adorn yourself, for the children of Israel did not perform these rituals and caused their wives to commit adultery.” (Kanz al- Ommal, v. 6, p. 640, no. 17175)
66. Send A Message!
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“It is ill-mannered that man has intercourse with his wife while she is not ready. He should play with her and kiss her first. Do not approach your wife like animals.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, v. 9, p. 36, no. 24813)
67. Do Not Hurry
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Whenever one of you has intercourse with his wife he should arouse her completely. If you have climaxed before her, do not leave until she has also climaxed.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, v. 16, p. 344, no. 44837)
68. Medical Care
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“When you need the toilet, do not have sex with your wife, for it may cause hemorrhoids. When you have to urinate do not have sex with your wife for it may cause fistula.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, v. 16, p. 355, no. 44902)
69. The Most Wicked
The Prophet (S) said:
“The wicked among the people in the eye of Allah on the Day of Judgment is the man who goes into his wife and she comes unto him, yet he divulges her secret (he exposes his personal relationship with her).” (Sahih al-Muslim, v. 2, p. 1060, no. 123)
70. Do Not Approach
Almighty Allah says,
“They ask you concerning [intercourse during] menses. Say, “It is hurtful.” So, keep away from wives during the menses, and do not approach them until they are clean. When they become clean, go into them as Allah has commanded you. Indeed, Allah loves the penitent and He loves those who keep clean.” (Qur’an; 2:222).
71. Allah’s Wrath
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“If a man bothers his wife to give up her dowry, Allah will not assign to him a punishment except the fire of hell, for Allah is angered at the oppressing of woman, in the same way He is angered by the oppression against an orphan.” (Thawab al-Amal, p.361, no.1)
72. Punishment For Beating One’s Wife
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“If a man slaps his wife, Allah will order an angel to slap him 70 times in hell.” (Mustadrak al-Wasa’il, V.14, P. 250, H. 16619)
73. Do Not Beat Your Wife
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“If anyone beats his wife oppressively, I will be his enemy in the hereafter. Do not beat your wife, because if anyone beats his wife verily, he has disobeyed Allah and His messenger.” (Irshad al-Qulub, P. 175)
74. Has He No Shame?
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Be ashamed of beating your wife as a slave; for you beat her in the morning and then embrace (sleep with) her at night! Are you not ashamed?!” (Bukhari, V. 4, P. 1888, H. 4658)
75. The Most Evil People
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The most evil of you is the one who is the most bad- tempered, the most reckless, and his family is heavily overburdened with his ill temper.” (Al-Ferdos, V. 2, P. 370, H. 3655)
76. Slandering
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“If a man slanders his wife for adultery, he will be devoid of his good deeds in the way a snake sheds its skin. And for every single hair on his body, a thousand sins will be written in his book of deeds.” (Jami’a al-Akhbar, P. 445, H. 1254)
77. To Be Whimsical
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Do not divorce your wives except for a valid reason (adultery), for Allah does not like the men and women who are impulsive.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, V. 9, P. 662, H. 27875)
The Wife’s Treatment Of Her Husband
78. To Be Zealot In A Wrong Situation
Imam Ali (‘a) in his letter to Imam Hasan (‘a) said:
“Be careful about zealotry in a situation in which zealotry is not needed, for it may lead a good woman on the road to evil, so care for them nicely.” (Al-Kafi, V. 5, P. 537, H. 9)
79. Divine Intention
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“If a man marries a woman because of her beauty or property he will receive no help from Allah, but if he marries a woman because of her faith Allah will provide him beauty and property.” (Al-Kafi, V. 5, P. 333, H. 3)
80. Serving One’s Husband
Imam As-Sadiq (‘a) narrated that Umm Salama (the Prophet’s wife) asked the Prophet about the status of those women who are at service to their husbands, so he (S) replied,
“Any woman who so much as moves something from one place to another in her husband’s house with the intention of improving it, is regarded with mercy by Allah, and whoever Allah regards [with mercy] He does not punish.” (Bihar al- Anwar, v. 103, p. 251, no. 49)
81. Serving One’s Wife & Longevity
Imam As-Sadiq (‘a) said:
“Anyone who is kind to his wife, Allah will provide him with a long life.” (al-Khisal, p. 21, no. 88)
82. A Glass Of Water, Better Than Praying
The Prophet (S) said:
“A woman’s quenching of her husband’s thirst with a glass of water is better for her than a whole year spent fasting during the day and praying at night.” (Irshad al-Qulub, p. 175)
83. Mistreating One’s Spouse
Imam As-Sadiq (‘a) said:
“Cursed, Cursed, indeed is the woman who troubles and distresses her husband; and blessed is the woman who honors her husband, does not trouble him and obeys him in all matters.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p. 253, no. 55)
84. Mistreating One’s Spouse & Aversion Of Allah
The Prophet (S) said:
“Verily almighty Allah and his prophet hate the one who mistreats his wife until he changes his behavior.” (Thawab al-Amal, v. 1, p. 338)
85. Mistreating & Not Accepting The Prayer
The Prophet (S) said:
“If a man has a wife who mistreats him, Allah does not accept her daily prayer, nor any other good deed she performs, even if she was to fast all her life, until she pleases him… and the husband will bear the same burden and punishment if he mistreats or oppresses his wife.” (Wasa’il al-Shi’ah, v. 14, p. 116, no. 1)
86. The Best Source Of Enjoyment
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The best source of enjoyment in this world is a virtuous wife.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, no. 44451)
87. The Virtuous Wife
Imam Baqir (‘a) said:
“There is nothing more beneficial to a servant than a virtuous wife whom seeing her made her husband happy and when he is not with her, she saves herself and his property.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p. 217, no. 2)
88. The Evil Life
Imam Baqir (‘a) said:
“One of the Prophet’s supplications was as follows: I seek refuge in You from a wife who causes me to age before my time.” (al-Kafi, v. 5, p. 326, no. 3)
89. The Worst Enemy
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The believer’s worst enemy is an evil wife.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 103, p. 240, no. 53)
90. The Blessed Wife
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The woman whose dowry is low and her delivery is comfortable, is blessed.” (Musnad Ibn Hanbal, v. 9, p. 355, no. 24532)
91. Happiest Life
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The happiest life belongs to one who is content and has a decent wife.” (Ghurar al-Hikam, no. 3295)
92. The Agent Of Allah
A man came to The Messenger of Allah (S) and said: I have a wife who when I arrive home she greets me with kindness and when I leave she convoys me. When she knows that I am sad she says, “Why are you upset? If you are worried for provision, know that you are not the provider and if you worried for your hereafter, Allah may decrease your fear.”
The Messenger of Allah (S) answered, “Allah has some agents and she is one of them, she has half of the reward of a martyr.” (Man La Yahdhur al-Faqih, v. 3, p. 389, no. 4369)
93. Being Patient
The Prophet (S) said:
“There are three groups of women whom Allah will protect from the torment of the grave and will be gathered with Fatima, (the daughter of holy Prophet) in heaven; The woman who is patient through jealousy of her husband, the woman who is patient through petulancy of her husband and the woman who offers her dowry to her husband.” (Irshad al-Qulub, p. 175)
94. Wash Yourself
The Prophet (S) said:
“Do not approach your spouses unless you wash yourself (and are clean).” (Al-Marasil, p. 144, no. 2)
95. To Wake For Praying
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Allah blesses the man who arises at midnight and prays, and then wakes his wife to pray. Similarly, Allah blesses the woman who arises at midnight and prays, then wakes her husband to pray.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, v. 7, p. 793, no. 21438)
96. Be Pragmatic!
The Prophet (S) said:
“If a woman asks her husband to buy something of which he is incapable, Allah will not accept her atonement until she repents and requests something within his capabilities.” (Makarim al-Akhlaq, V.1, P. 441, H. 1515)
97. The Rights Of The Husband
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The rights of the husband upon the wife are that she should stay inside the house, love him, be kind to him, not make him angry, obey him, fulfill her promises, not have sexual relationship with any other man, nor betray him or bother him.” (Mustadrak al-Wasa’il, v. 14, p. 244, no. 16604)
98. The Whimsical Divorcer
Imam Baqir (‘a) said:
“Verily the almighty Allah dislikes every whimsical divorcer.” (Al-Kafi, V.6, P. 55, H. 4)
99. Hug Him!
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“It is not permitted for a woman to sleep, except that she presents herself to her husband before sleeping. Takes off her garments, lies in bed with him, and hugs him.” (Makarim al-Akhlaq, v. 1, p. 508, no. 1766)
100. Curse Of Angels
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relations) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her until the morning.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, v. 3, p. 1182, no. 3065)
101. Keep Your Deeds!
Imam As-Sadiq (‘a) said:
“If a wife expresses to her husband: “I have not received any goodness from you!” Verily she is void of her good deeds.” (Al-Faqih, V. 3, P. 440, H. 4524)
102. Bothering Husband
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“If a woman bothers her husband through her words, Allah will not accept any remedy or any of her good deeds until she satisfies her husband.” (Al-Faqih, V. 4, P. 14, H. 4968)
103. To Anger The Husband
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Woe to the woman who angers her husband and blessings be upon the woman whose husband is satisfied with her.” (‘Uyun Akhbar al-Ridha’, V. 2, P. 11, H. 24)
104. Allah Is Watching You!
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Allah does not look at the woman who is unappreciative of her husband whilst being in need of him.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, V. 16, P. 396, H. 45082)
105. To Aromatise
Imam Ali (‘a) said:
“A Muslim woman must perfume herself for her husband.” (Al-Khisal, p. 621, no. 10)
106. Be Patient And Confidant
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“It is not permissible for woman to put something which is beyond her husband`s power on his shoulders. She should not complain about him to anyone of Allah`s creatures, neither to her relatives nor to strangers.” (Mustadrak al-Wasa’il, V. 14, p. 242, H. 16604)
107. To Reproach The Husband
The Prophet (S) said:
“Any woman who reproaches her husband for her property and says, “You are my dependent!” Allah will not accept any charity from her until she pleases her husband.” (Makarim al-Akhlaq, V.1, P. 441, H. 1517)
108. Ostentation For Strangers
Imam As-Sadiq (‘a) said:
“Any woman who uses perfume for the intention of adorning herself for anyone except her husband, her Salah (daily prayer) will not be accepted unless she washes her body of that perfume.” (Al-Kafi, V. 5, P. 507, H. 2)
109. Treason
The Prophet (S) said:
“O, Ali! Four things are backbreaker: … and the wife who her husband is loyal to her, but she is betraying him.” (Al-Faqih, V. 4, P. 365, H. 5762)
110. Adornment For The Strangers
The Prophet (S) said:
“It is allowed for woman to show her wrists and legs only to her husband and nobody else. And if she shows them to the strangers she will be upon the wrath and the curse of Allah forever and Allah shall be wrathful at her and the angles of Allah will curse her, and Allah will prepare a grievous punishment for her.” (Mustadrak al-Wasa’il, V. 14, p. 242, H. 16604)
Parents Treatment Of Their Children
111. Speeding One’s Child Marriage
The Prophet (S) said:
“It is written in Torah: if one’s daughter is ready for marriage but the father did not marry her, if she commits a sin, then her father is a partner in her sin.” (Kanz al- Ummal, no. 45412)
112. Do Not Hesitate
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“When the equivalent persons [the suitor] came unto you, marry off your daughters to them without hesitating and do not delay.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, p. 317, no. 44693)
113. Do Not Marry To A Wicked
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Anybody who marries his daughter to a wicked person there will be thousands of curses on him and do not ascend any of his works to the heaven and Allah does not respond to his prayers.” (Irshad al-Qulub, p. 174)
114. Affectionate Towards Each Other
The Prophet (S) said:
“Whenever Allah loves a family, He makes them affectionate
towards each other.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, v. 3, p. 52, no. 5449)
115. Gladdening The Family
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“When a person makes his family happy, Allah creates a being from that pleasure who asks forgiveness for him until the Day of Resurrection.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, v. 16, p. 379, no. 44995)
116. Bring A Gift
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Whenever one of you returns from a trip, bring a gift for your family, even if it is a piece of stone.” (Sunan al-Darqotni, v. 2, p. 300, no. 290)
117. Start From Female
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Everyone who buys fruit at the market, and brings it for his children, he is as one who has carried charity. He should begin with his daughter, because almighty Allah is sympathetic towards girls. Everyone who is sympathetic towards girls is like the one who cries for the fear of Allah. Moreover, everyone who cries for the fear of Allah will be forgiven, and the one who makes a female happy, Allah will make him happy on the Day of Sorrow.” (Tanbih al-Ghafilin, p. 352, no. 526)
118. Considering The Family’s Interest
Imam As-Sadiq (‘a) said:
“It is not good for a man to choose some food exclusively for himself and deprive his family.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 9, p. 221, no. 106)
119. Go Back To Your Family
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Whenever one of you travels to the Shrine for Pilgrimage after performing his Hajj, he should go back to his family soon, for this increases his reward.” (Al-Mustadrak al-Sahihayn, v. 1, p. 650, no. 1753)
120. Eating With Family
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Allah loves the believer and his wife and children. And the most popular thing in the sight of Allah is to see the husband with his wife and his children eating together so when they gather Allah blesses them and forgives them before they disperse.” (Tanbih al-Ghafelin, p. 343)
121. Pray With Family
Imam As-Sadiq (‘a) said:
“Any time my father had a problem he gathered his family and prayed, and they said amen.” (Al-Kafi, v. 2, p. 487)
122. Save Yourselves And Your Families
The Prophet (S) recited this verse:
“O you who have faith! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” (Qur’an; 66:6)
His companions asked, “How could we protect them?” Prophet answered, “Bid them what Allah likes, and forbid them what He does not like.” (Al-Durr Al-Manthur Fi Tafsir Bil-Ma'thur, v. 8, p. 225)
123. Bid Your Family To Prayer
Almighty Allah says,
“And bid your family to prayer and be steadfast in its maintenance. We do not ask any provision of you. It is We who provide for you, And the good end is for the righteous.” (Qur’an; 20:132)
124. Bid Your Family To Maintain The Prayer
Almighty Allah says,
“And mention Ishmael in the Book. Indeed, he was true to his promise, an apostle, and a prophet” (Qur’an; 19:54)
“He used to bid his family to [maintain] the prayer and to [pay] the zakat (alms), and was pleasing to his Lord.” (Qur’an; 19:55)
125. Neglecting Dependents
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Cursed, are those who neglect their dependents.” (Al-Kafi, v. 4, p. 12, no. 9)
126. The Worst Men
The Prophet (S) said:
“The worst men among you are those who accuse people, eat lonely, beat their subordinates, neglect their dependents so they need others, are barefaced, foul mouthed and stingy.” (Al-Kafi, v. 2, p. 292, no. 13)
127. The Upper Hand
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“The upper hand is better than the lower hand, and start with your dependents.” (The giver is better than the receiver (or beggar)) (Sahih al-Bukhari, v. 2, p. 518, no. 1361)
128. Behaving Generously
The Prophet (S) said:
“There are a group of angels who almighty Allah commands them to call twice every day, before sunrise and sunset: beware! If anyone behaves with his family and neighbors generously, Allah will behave with him generously and give him more in this world. Beware! One who is tight (with his family and neighbors), Allah will make him feel the squeezing in the grave.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, v. 6, p. 442, no. 16453)
129. Do Not Marry Your Daughter By Force
The Prophet (S) said:
“Some of you marry off your daughters to unattractive men by force. (Do not do that,) for they want whom they love.” (Hilyat al-Muttaqin, v. 7, p. 140)
130. Learn From Crows
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Learn three characters from crow; Secret copulation, its request for livelihood in early morning, and being cautious.” (Al-Khisal, p. 100, no. 51)
131. Child’s Look
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Man should not have intercourse with his wife while their children are present.” (Al-Jafariyat, p. 96)
132. Protect Your Offspring From Satan
The Prophet (S) said:
“If anyone of you is having sexual relations with his wife and before beginning says “In the name of Allah. O Allah! Protect us from Satan and also protect what you bestow upon us (i.e. the coming offspring) from Satan” and if it is destined that they should have a child then, Satan will never be able to harm that offspring.” (Sahih al- Bukhari, v. 1, p. 49, no. 143)
133. Do Not Think About Another Woman!
The Prophet (S) said:
“Do not approach your wife while you think about another woman, because I fear if Allah gives you a child, he may be epicene or effeminate and crazy.” (Man La Yahdhur al-Faqih, v. 3, p. 552, no. 4899)
134. The Best Thing For Lovers
A man asked the Prophet, “O, Messenger of Allah, there is an orphan with us who has two suitors, one is rich, and the other is poor. We like the rich but she likes the poor?
The Prophet (S) said: “For then there is nothing better than two lovers to marry.” (Kanz al-’Ummal, v. 16, p. 489, no. 45597)
135. Love & Marriage
Someone asked Imam As-Sadiq (‘a): I love a girl and want to marry her but my parents prefer somebody else (what should I do)?
Imam (‘a) said: “Marry the one who you love.” (Al-Kafi, v. 5, p. 401, no. 1)
136. Ask Her!
Imam Ali (‘a) said:
“Do not marry off your daughter unless you ask her, for she knows better about her wants, and if she did not agree do not marry her.” (Daaem al-Islam, v. 2, p. 218, no. 810)
137. Do Not Exceed The Dowry
Imam Ali (‘a) said:
“Do not exceed the women`s dowry, because it will lead to enmity.” (Makarim al-Akhlaq, v. 1, p. 506, no. 1753)
138. Bad Temper
Husayn Ibin Bashar Al-Yaseti says, I wrote to Imam ar-Ridha (‘a): One of my relatives had asked my daughter to marry him but he has a bad temper.
He (‘a) replied: “If he is moody do not marry your daughter to him.” (Al-Kafi, V. 5, P. 563, H. 30)
139. Be Affectionate To Your Children
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“Be affectionate to your children and have pity on them. Fulfill your promises to them for they see that only you provide for their maintenance.” (Mustadrak al-Wasa’il, V. 15, P. 170, No. 17896)
140. The Rights Of Children
The Messenger of Allah (S) said:
“O Ali, the right of children to his/her father is: Choosing him/her a good name, teaching him/her good manners and establish for him/her a proper position in life.” (Al-Faqih, V. 4, P. 372)