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Well-Being And Training

A Word Of Caution

Imam Ja’far Al-Sadiq (a.s.) warns:

Beware! Do not have physical relations in the room where your children sleep because it produces physical depravity in them. 1

Protection Against Diseases

A right of the child upon the parent is also that he should be kept safe from illness. The Prophet of God (S) explains:

It is prohibited to establish physical relationship during the period of menstruation. If somebody does so, then the child can be affected by white spots and leprosy. Then blame only yourself. To have physical relations before the ritual bath in ceremonial impurity due to any cause will result in a mentally imbalanced child. Blame yourself for that. 2

In a narration, The Prophet (S) informs:

O Ali! Keep away from physical relations on the 1st and 15th of the lunar months. Do you not see that the insane faint more on the 1st and 15th nights? 3

Imam Ja’far Al-Sadiq (a.s.) says:

Do not engage in physical relations on the 1st, 15th and the last night of the month. If you do so, then you are responsible for the miscarriage of your child and if not then there is a greater chance of the child being born mentally unstable. 4

However, the 1st night of the month of Ramazan is an exception to this rule. The Holy Prophet (S) says:

Do not engage in conversation during physical relations for it might lead to the child being born dumb. 5

Cleanliness

The Prophet of Islam (S) instructs:

Keep your children neat and clean, away from dirt. Shaitaan smells out filth which affects the dreams of the child and angels who are with the child feel discomfort. 6

Circumcision On The Seventh Day

Circumcision is necessary for a child. It is found in the narrations of Ahle Bait (a.s.) that the son should be circumcised on the 7th day so that he may remain pure.7

Spiritual Training

It is narrated about spiritual and religious training that Adhaan should be recited in the right ear of the new born and Iqamah in the left ear. The Holy Prophet (S) informed Ali Ibn Abi Talib (a.s.):

When a child is born, be it boy or girl, speak the Adhaan in the right ear and Iqamah in the left so that Shaitaan cannot harm the child in any manner. 8

O Ali! Recite this dua at the time of physical relations:

بِسْمِ اللهِ اَللّٰهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ وَ جَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنِي‏.

O Allah! Safeguard us from Shaitaan and safeguard the child which You grant us from Shaitaan.

If Allah grants a child then he will be protected from Shaitaan. 9

Nourishment

The religion of Islam has taken special care in regards to the nourishment of the child especially in the period of weaning. The Noble Qur’an orders that it is the responsibility of the mother to feed her child for two years. Even if she undergoes a divorce, the responsibility of the mother to wean her child remains. During this period it is the responsibility of the father to arrange for the food, clothing, etc. of the mother.

The Reward Of Weaning A Child

The Holy Prophet (S) remarks:

The pregnant woman is like a worshipper, a keeper of fasts and like the one who strives with her life and wealth in the way of God and when the child is born, she gets the reward which is unfathomable. When she weans her child, then for every weaning a reward of setting free a slave from the progeny of Hazrat Ismail (a.s.) is added to her account. When she completes her weaning and the period ends, an angel besides her announces… Allah has forgiven all your sins. Now start your deeds anew. 10

Teaching And Training

It is important to note a few points in teaching and training the children:

1. Religious knowledge – includes the Qur’an, beliefs, morals, worship and social laws

2. Education in Social responsibilities

3. Physical education

The Reward Of Teaching Qur’an

The Prophet of Allah (S) says:

One who teaches Qur’an to his children, then the parents will be called on the Day of Judgement and gifted two invaluable dresses of light which will illuminate the faces of the people of Paradise. 11

In another tradition, the Messenger of God (S) also informs:

The Noble Qur’an will present a person on the Day of Judgement whose face would have turned pale. The Qur’an would appeal to God – this is the man whom I have kept unsatiated during the day and awake during the night. The hope for Your Mercy has made his heart strong and the expectancy of Your forgiveness is alive in his heart. O Allah! Deal with him in a manner in which I have given him hope. God will reply: Place the kingdom and the servitude in his left. Adorn his parents in such jewelry which will surpass the entire world in its value. On the Day of Judgement, everyone will look at the parents and enumerate their excellences. They too will be in awe of the excellences and will ask God – O Allah! Why do we have these excellences? God will answer them – this is the effect of teaching Qur’an, the religion of Islam and the love of Muhammad (S) and Ali (a.s.) to your child. 12

The Result Of Negligence In Education & Training

On seeing a few children, The Messenger of Islam (S) remarked:

The children of the last era are cursed in relation to their parents. The people asked: O Messenger of God (S)! Is this about the polytheist parent? He (S) answered: No rather it is regarding the believing parents who do not educate their children about the religion but actually prevent them from it. They become happy over the minor profits of this material world. I dissociate myself from them and they from me. 13

Social And Physical Education

The Holy Prophet (S) said:

Train your children in swimming and archery. 14

He (S) also said:

Respect your children. Train them well so that you may be forgiven. 15

O Ali (a.s.)! It is the right of the child upon the father to teach him etiquette and assign for him a proper place. 16

The child should be trained in religion and his heart should be illuminated with the true faith, taught etiquette and manners. He should be given a suitable and appropriate place in the society. He should be trained in such a manner that he becomes the center of the Grace of God and Ahle Bait (a.s.).

To Behave In A Loving Manner

The Holy Prophet (S) instructed:

One who behaves with his son lovingly, Allah will grant him one good deed. 17

He (S) also informed:

Love your child more. Allah grants one higher stage in Paradise, whose distance is 500 years, for each act of love. 18

This gains importance in the present time where love has lost its meaning in the household. Love and care has departed leading to a society and community devoid of amity.

Abdullah Ibn Masood narrates… Imam Husain (a.s.) came in the holy presence of the Prophet (S). He (S) kissed Imam (a.s.). The Holy Prophet (S) while kissing him announced:

O Allah! I befriend him and You too befriend him and those who are his friends. 19

This esteemed tradition points towards the truth that if you want to be among those included in the prayer of the Holy Prophet (S) and a recipient of the Love of God, then enrich your children with the love of Imam Husain (a.s.) and prepare the future mourners of Husain (a.s.).

Result Of Lack Of Love

The Holy Prophet (S) was kissing Imam Hasan and Imam Husain (a.s.). Iqra Ibn Haabis was present there. He said: I have 10 sons and I have never kissed anyone of them. The Prophet (S) cautioned:

One who does not have mercy then mercy will not be granted unto him.

According to some other narrations, the Holy Prophet (S) became very angry upon hearing this. The signs of anger were evident on his shining visage. He (S) said:

If God has snatched love from your heart then who can do anything in that matter!

One who neither has mercy upon the young nor has respect for the elders is not from us (i.e. he is not a Muslim). 20

Respect Of Children

Respecting children trains them to be dignified. They understand how to stay away from bad deeds. Respect children so that they learn to respect themselves. The Prophet of God (S) said:

Respect your children, treat them with dignity and teach them the best etiquette so that you may be forgiven. 21

A Suitable Name

The Hoy Prophet (S) pointed out:

The first gift that a father gives to the child is a good name. So keep suitable names for your children. 22

He (S) has also emphasized:

When you name your child Muhammad then respect him and reserve a place in your gatherings. Do not react angrily with him. 23

Name Your Child After The Noble Prophet (S)

The Holy Prophet (S) said:

The table of the house which seats people with the name of Muhammad and Ahmed is hallowed and glorified twice a day. 24

Marriage

The Messenger of Allah (S) has emphasized:

The father of a son has upon him three rights of which one is that the son upon maturity should be married. 25

Help Your Child

The Noble Prophet (S) has informed:

May Allah have mercy upon the one who helps him in good deeds!

The people asked: And what kind of help is it?

He (S) replied:

He should accept what he can and forbear upon what he can’t. 26

Equitable Behaviour

The Divine Messenger (S) has ordered:

Behave equitably with children in the distribution of gifts. 27

The Prophet (S) saw a person with two sons while he kissed only one of them. He (S) remarked: Why do you not behave equitably with them? The Prophet (S) further said: Be just with your children as you want justice to be done with you.28

Promote The Girl Child

The revered Messenger (S) has emphasized:

When a person buys gifts and material for his household, be it for giving charity to the indigent, he should always give preference to the girl child over the boy. The one who makes him daughter happy has the reward of freeing a slave from the progeny of Ismail (a.s.). 29

He (S) has also said:

Act with justice while distributing gifts but if you wish to give more, then prefer your daughter over your son. 30

It is the responsibility of the people who believe in God, His Prophet (S) and the Mastership of Ahle Bait (a.s.) and seek to gain the approval of Ahle Bait (a.s.) in this world and the next that they should keep the above mentioned facts in mind and train their children in the best of ways. Thus, they would be among the helpers, aides and sincere slaves of Imam-e-Zamana (a.t.f.s.) when he reappears.

  • 1. Al-Kaafi, vol. 5, p. 499.
  • 2. Elal al-Sharaae’, p. 514.
  • 3. Tuhaf al-Uqool, p, 12; Wasa’il al-Shia, vol. 30, p. 131.
  • 4. Wasa’il al-Shia, vol. 20, p. 129.
  • 5. Al-Khesaal, p. 520.
  • 6. Uyoon al-Akhbaar Al-Ridha’, vol. 2, p. 169.
  • 7. Al-Kaafi, vol. 6, p. 35.
  • 8. Tuhaf al-Uqool, p. 13.
  • 9. Tuhaf al-Uqool, p. 12.
  • 10. Amaal of Shaikh Saduq (a.r.), p. 411-412.
  • 11. Al-Kaafi, vol. 6, p. 49.
  • 12. Tafseer of Imam Hasan al-Askari (a.s.), p. 450.
  • 13. Jaame’ al-Akhbaar, p. 106.
  • 14. Al-Kaafi, vol. 6, p. 47.
  • 15. Makaarim al-Akhlaaq, p. 222.
  • 16. Al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 372.
  • 17. Al-Kaafi, vol. 6, p. 49.
  • 18. Rauzat al-Waaezeen, p. 269.
  • 19. Kifaayat al-Athar, p. 81.
  • 20. Bihar al-Anwaar, vol. 43, p. 282-283.
  • 21. Makaarim al-Akhlaaq, p. 222.
  • 22. Al-Nawaado, p. 6.
  • 23. Uyoon al-Akhbaar Al-Ridha’, vol. 2, p. 29.
  • 24. Uyoon al-Akhbaar Al-Ridha’, vol. 2, p. 29.
  • 25. Rauzat al-Waaezeen, p. 369.
  • 26. Al-Saraaer, vol. 3, p. 595.
  • 27. Akhlaaq-e-Tusi, vol. 3, p. 564.
  • 28. Makaarim al-Akhlaaq, p. 220.
  • 29. Amaali of Shaikh Saduq (a.r.), p. 577.
  • 30. Akhlaaq-e-Tusi, vol. 3, p. 563.