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With regards to general du'a (not performing qadha salat), no. Praying or not praying for the well-being of the deceased is optional.

However, it is good to pray for the deceased - both for them, and also for yourself, if there are areas of conflict that need forgiveness. Sometimes it is easier to make peace with people and forgive them once they are gone.

If your parents have harmed you, it may be helpful to remember that, after they are deceased, they are no longer able to harm you. Also, most people act angrily, violently, etc, due to hormones, greed for material things, the way the body interacts with emotions, and so on, and deceased souls no longer have these things. So the deceased may also regret how they acted in this life once they are no longer affected by having a physical body. God knows best.

Elder son is responsible to pray the Qadha prayers and fast what his parents missed. Any other son, daughter, friend and even a paid person can perform the Qadha on behalf of the deceased. Neglecting this responsibility will be a sinful act on the person who neglected it.



May Allah bless you and your family. 

Yes, we have a ḥadīth in that vein:

یَا ابا ذر! کُنْ کَأَنَّکَ فِی الدُّنْیَا غَرِیبٌ أَوْ کَعَابِرِ سَبِیلٍ، وَ عُدَّ نَفْسَکَ مِنْ أَصْحَابِ الْقُبُورِ

“Abū Dharr! Be like a stranger in this temporary life or like you are a mere traveler. And consider yourself like one of the people of the graves.”

This phrase is part of a longer ḥadīth found in Makārim al-Akhlāq of al-Ḥasan ibn Faḍl al-Ṭabarsī, the son of the author of the tafsīr entitled Majmaʿ al-Bayān. You can read a translation of the ḥadīth here:

The phrase “count yourself like one of the people of the graves” means to live as if death is imminent—or, more directly, act as if you are about to die. In other words, live a pious life because you don’t know when you are going to die and return to your Creator and be held accountable for your misconduct. Never take a day or even a moment for granted and expect that if you sin, you will have a moment after the sin to repent. Act as if, at any moment, you may be lowered into your grave and have no second chance to live a pious life.

One way to encourage this line of thinking is to visit a Muslim graveyard or the graves of deceased family members and contemplate how close death is and how close the afterlife is—how short our lives are. This should encourage us to, at bare minimum, complete our obligations (wājibāt) and refrain from all that is prohibited (muḥarramāt).

Yes, it is allowed, although I am not aware of any traditions recommending it.

However, I think it is better not to use plastic flowers (which you see in some places instead of real flowers) for environmental reasons.