Legitimate Desires

Bismi-Llah, Al-Rahmani, Al-Rahim. Al-hamdulil-Lahi Rabbi al-‘Alamin. Al-hamdulil-Lahi alladhi yujibuni...

Bismi-Llah, Al-Rahmani, Al-Rahim. Al-hamdulil-Lahi Rabbi al-‘Alamin. Al-hamdulil-Lahi alladhi yujibuni hina unadih, wa yastur ‘alaya kulli awratin, wa ana asiyh. Wa yadhim an-na’mata alayha fa la ujazih. Nahmaduhu wa nusabbihuhu wa nuqadisuhu ‘ala alayih wa namaih wa nash-hadu an la ilaha illa Allah wahdahu la sharika lah. Ilahan wahidan, ahidan, fardan, samadan, qayyuman.

Wa nash-hadu anna Sayyidina Muhammadan abduhu wa Rasuluh. Arsalauh bi ‘l-Huda wadin al-Haqqi liudhhirah ‘ala ad-Dini kullih. Allahuma salli wa sallim wa barik, wa taraham ‘ala Muhammadin wa Aali Muhammad. Ka afdhali ma sallayta wa sallamt, wa barakat wa tarahamata ‘ala Ibarahim wa Aali Ibrahima fi al-‘alamina. Innaka hamidun majid. Wa salli Allahumma wa sallim ‘ala Awasia' Nabiik wa khulafahihi wa Ahli Baytihi, wa ahibbatih wa khassatihi wa ‘ala jami’a al-mu’minin. Ibad Allah yusikum awsi nafsi bi ‘t-Taqwa Allah wa urzumi amrih.

Qal Allahu, Tabaraka wa Ta’ala fi Surat al-Mu’minun. 'A'udhu bil-Lahi, min al-Shaytan, al-rajimi. Bismi-Llah, Al-Rahmani, Al-Rahim. "Qad aflah al-mu’minun” (23:1). “Alladhina hum fi salatihim khashi’un” (23:2). “Wa alladhina hum ‘ani ‘llagha mu’ridun” (23:3). “Wa alladhina hum li ‘z-zakati fa’ilun” (23:4). “Wa alladhina hum lifurujihim hafidhun” (23:5). “Illa ‘ala azawajihim aw ma malakat ayamanuhum fanahum ghayr malawmayn” (23:6). “Faman abtaghaa wara' dhalik fa ulayik hum al-‘adun" (23:7). Saqada Allahu Al-Aliyun, al-Adhim.

Scholars of Akhlaq, the Ethicists divided the human desires into two parts, in terms of legality and legitimacy. They contend that there are two sections and two parts for human desires. One of them, one section is legitimate, whereas the second one, the second type of desires are illegitimate. What makes a desire legitimate or illegitimate? Is it us who we decide? Or there is another source of legislation, another source who teaches us what is right and what is wrong, what is legitimate, what is illegitimate, what is lawful and what is unlawful?

Of course, we, the Muslims, believe God is the source of legislation. God is the one who decides what sort of desires are okay. You can practice them, you can enjoy them. And what others, other desires that are detrimental and dangerous to you, to your health, to your society, to your family.

So it is God who decides. "Tilka hudud Allah" (2:229). God says, these are My boundaries. So the desires that are in line in conformity with the boundaries of God are called legitimate desires, legitimate needs. Now, why people cannot decide on this?

People cannot decide because people have different tastes, different flavors, different choices, different selections, different cultures, different traditions, different rules. Today, in this life, when we look at the whole world around us, we find that certain countries, certain human societies have their own rules and regulations. They have their own customs and traditions, which are peoples cultures. So we see culture clashes between several cultures. Sometimes within one culture, one society, we see this cultural shock, cultural gap, generational gap, between the old people, the ancestors and the young generation.

So it is really hard to create consensus among mankind over one thing. It's really hard. It's not easy because each people, each society, each country, each culture has its own rules and regulations. Therefore, God says, leave it to me to decide. Because God is neutral. God is not bias. God is not only the God for Africa without Asia. He is not an Asian god. He is not an African god. He is not an American god. He is not a European god. He is not an Australian god. He is a Universal God. He's a God, the Lord of the entire universe, entire mankind. And God, to be honest with you, has no preference, has no preference, no gender preference, no race preference, no language preference.

If you look at the divine scriptures, each one of them arrived and was descended with one language. So not all of them were one language. Each one of them had its own language. So God does not have a language preference. All languages are good and acceptable to God. As long as you can communicate, then God says this is okay. Therefore, it is up to God to decide what is legitimate and what is illegitimate.

Now, some of our desires, when we say desire, people's mind goes to the bad things. Whereas we have plenty of good, legitimate, inherent natural desires, that we need them, we need to practice them, we need to enjoy them. And they are very necessary for us. As long as they are reasonable, acceptable, they are necessary for us. Therefore, one has to address his or her desires, one has to satisfy her or her desires, and you have to respond to them, but in the right way, in the reasonable way.

Because desires are dangerous. If they are not bought under control, they become dangerous. But once you are able to control your desires, then they are necessary. Among these desires, the desire for food, who doesn't like food, who doesn't like a drink, who doesn't like to eat? We survive on food and drink. So it's not shameful. It's not wrong to have desire for food or drink. It's not wrong to have desire for rest or sleep. It's not wrong to have desire for partners, for a husband, for a wife, for a friend, desires for friends. These are legitimate.

Desire for social connection, desire to have family, desire to have money, desire to have a house, a desire to have a car, a desire to have a decent living, a desire for sport activities, recreational activities. These are all legitimate desires and they are necessary for our mental and physical health. We cannot survive without them. These are legitimate.

In fact, God said to Adam when He created him, He said, Adam, I'm going to provide you with the necessities which without you are not going to continue your journey "Inna laka alla taj'u fiha wa la ta'ra" (20:118). "Wa innaka la tathmahu fiha wa la tadhha" (20:119). I'm going to place you in Paradise, where you eat, drink and you have shade, shelter, and you have a clothing. Without them, you cannot survive.

Now, here we must satisfy our desires, in the right way, in the legitimate way, in the acceptable way, in the reasonable way, in the moral way, religious way. Because if one cannot get food from the right source, natural source, and he goes hungry, eventually that person is going to be forced to steal the food. So when you don't provide food through a legitimate source, then that person is not going to wait for a long time to go and rob someone and invade people's properties in search of food. And you cannot blame him. You cannot blame him for doing so, because he has desire, he has natural need for food.

If someone does not channel his sexual desire through the institution of marriage, then he's going to use the back door. If he is not allowed to use the main entrance, the main door, he is going to come in through the window. He is going to search for another illegitimate relationship. If someone does not find love and attention at home within his or her family, if your children, your son, your daughter does not get love, affection, attention, respect in the family, from his father, from her mother, then they're going to seek it somewhere else. They're going to search for the wrong people.

So you must provide them what they desire, what they naturally inherently desire at home, to provide them with that. And there is nothing wrong, my friends, with entertainment. Some parents have weird approach to their children. They are very strict at home, very strict. They always discipline their children. The number of times they say no is more than saying yes to their children. And this is problematic. When the parents keep saying no, no, no, and these nos far exceed the yes, then we have a problem in the family. We have imbalance in the family.

Some of these desires that the young generation have are legitimate. Nothing wrong with them. Let them have it, let them enjoy it. If your son wants to go with good friends, they want to go and eat out, but not now. Of course not now. They have to stay home now. After inshaAllah, everything is clear [because of COVID-19]. So if they want to go outside for sport activities, social activities, recreational activities, to go to the movie theater, then it's okay, because if you shut this door, they are going to search for another door, they are going to go through the emergency door.

And here I remember the hadith of Imam Muhammad al-Jawad alayhi as-salatu wa as-salam. He says "min fadhli Allah Ta'ala, min fadhli Allah Ta'ala 'ala al-anam, an aghnahum bi 'l-halali 'an al-haram". One of the biggest gifts of God to the humanity, that He enriched them, He satisfied them and their needs through the halal way, through the legitimate way. Every desire you have, every single desire, whether it's small or big you have, is being legitimized by Islam. Islam would never say to something no, wrong.

He says, go get it through the right approach, not the wrong approach. Through the legitimate way, through the natural way. Go and get it, but through the natural and acceptable way. And thus Amir al-Mu'minin says "li 'l-mu'mini thalatu sa'at" every believer has 3 hours in his day and night, 1 hour "fa sa'atun yunaji fiha Rabbah". He spends this hour with his Lord, in communication with Lord. And nothing more enjoyable, nothing more enjoyable and more needed than speaking to God, than sharing your thoughts, sharing your concern, sharing your needs, sharing your aspirations with God. "Fa sa'atun yunaji fiha", Munajat means when you are alone, sometimes you pray together, sometimes you pray by yourself in a private. This is called munajat. You speak to God in silence, by yourself.

"Wa sa'atun", the second one, "yarumma ma'ashahu" he goes after his livelihood, after his work. A hardworking person. God loves those who come back home exhausted from work. God loves them, God admires them. And the third one: "wa sa'atun yukhalli bayna nafsihi wa bayna ladhdhatiha fi ma yahillu wa yajmul" an entertainment hour. This is the third hour. It's called the hour of entertainment, the hour of recreation, the hour of enjoyment, the hour of socialization.

You have good habits, go after them. You have good hobbies, go after them. Go after sport, recreation, ease the tension, remove the stress, remove the anxiety from yourself by exercising good recreational and sport activities or socialize with your friends. Of course, under the normal circumstances, we have to address the legitimate desires in the right way. “Wa alladhina hum lifurujihim hafidhun” (23:5). “Illa ‘ala azawajihim aw ma malakat ayamanuhum fanahum ghayr malawmayn” (23:6). “Faman abtaghaa wara' dhalik" (23:7). When they transgress beyond the legitimate way "fa ulayk", those people are the transgressors, " fa ulayik hum al-‘adun" (23:7).

Bismi-Llah, Al-Rahmani, Al-Rahim. Bismi-Llah, Al-Rahmani, Al-Rahim. “Wa ‘l-Asr” (103:1). “Inna al-Insana la fi khusrin” (103:2). "Illa alladhina amanu, wa ‘amilu as-salihat, wa tawasw bi ‘l-Haqq, wa tawasaw bi ‘s-Sabr” (103:3).

Wa salla Allahu wa sallam 'ala Sayyidina Muhammad, wa Ahli Baytih at-tayybin, at-tahirin.