Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

144 Questions

Their not taking revenge or not showing anger does not mean that you did not wrong them. We must seek forgiveness from everyone whom we wronged. Without that, we will be accountable in the Day of Judgement which is the hardest day for the sinners.

Wassalam.

Personally, I try to keep it simple and say that it is for (a) modesty, and/or (b) because Islamic law says to do it. You could also say that (c) because it is something you want to do and is important to you. 

The aforementioned statements may also be suitable for you to say, however it is  important to say them in such a way that would not imply that you are criticizing your mother. (For instance, if you say that hijab adds dignity, you would not want to say it in such a way which would imply that your mother has less dignity, because she does not wear hijab.) It is often how we say things that is as important as what we actually say!

However, if they are religious Catholics, mentioning the Virgin Mary might be a helpful way to connect. 

I am sure that in your heart, you know what is best to say for your situation - what comes from the heart reaches the heart. 

Best wishes!

 

Bismihi ta'ala

You and your family should not rely on istikharah for making the decision of marriage. Istikharah should not be the primary tool to be used for marriage selection. 

The age gap that you mentioned is not really a major issue, and could be overlooked, if there is compatibility and commonalities and attraction towards each other.

However, as you said there is no attraction, and you do not have that certainty in this marriage proposal, then I would recommend you not rush into this, and not allow your parents to pressure you. 

You have every right to decline this proposal as well, and if you are doing the right thing, you wont need to regret in the future.

For marriage, the important thing is him being religious, having good morals, good reputation, and there being compatibility between you and him. 

Sit with him, once or twice, or even three times, and ask the right questions, especially about future plans and what your ambitions and goals are, and how his views agree with you or not, and then make your decision. Not based on istikharah, but based on the information you have.

With prayers for your success.

Your parents' respected friends can try to explain to your parents your need to get married to get settled and to protect yourself. When marriage is the only way to save a person from falling in sinning, marriage does not remain a recommended act but it becomes an obligatory because saving ourself from sinning is an obligatory.

Wassalam.