1. Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims
  2. Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

175 Questions

I am 14 years old and my parents are getting divorced. My mother wants me to stay with her and she keeps reminding me about the power of a mother's Du'a so that I would not hurt her feelings. How should I choose which parent to stay with?
Rebecca Masterton

I am sorry that you are having to go through this at your age. Firstly, you should not have to choose to stay with any parent. Being pressured to stay with one parent or another today constitutes as emotional abuse. If you have a good relationship with your father, then you are not under any obligation to stay with your mother. The fact that she is using religion to threaten you and coerce you into staying with her is disturbing, and implies possibly a history of emotional manipulation. There are now many helpful videos on youtube on how to handle emotional manipulation by parents, such as 'The Cra**y Childhood Fairy' and Jerry Wise. Emotional manipulation can damage a child for life, so you need to learn to make sense of what is happening to you and how you can handle it effectively in a way that maintains your self-protection and healthy mental and emotional growth.
Can I reject a boy for marriage even if my parents did Istikhara and it came out positive? Can I pray for a better proposal in my Dua?
Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi

Your marriage is invalid with out your full acceptance and agreeing. Your parents' Istekhara is for them to agree or not, but it does not bind you. You can go for Istekhara yourself or jointly with your parents if you are not clear and need guidance through an Istekhara.

You can pray for better proposal in your Du'a.

'Wassalam.
What is the obligation when a child unintentionally witnesses the parents engaging in an intimate act? If required, what type and amount of compensation, Kafara or Sadqa, should be given?
Zaid Alsalami

Bismihi ta'ala

There is no kaffarah or anything to be paid, but there are two very important thing everyone must always remember.

1. Parents, or anyone being intimate must secure their privacy first, making sure there will be no intrusion, and have absolute certainty that nobody can or will be able to see or hear them. Even infant children should be away from their parents, and we have narrations from Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) that strongly censure parents being intimate with the presence of even a baby. 

2. Whenever someone is living with other people, he/she must always remember to announce themselves, knock doors, make a noise, say "Ya Allah", to inform others of their presence, and so on. This is to avoid seeing somebody without their clothes, or in a situation that they are uncomfortable in, etc. 

In the case something happens unintentionally, it should be forgotten, not mentioned, and just be stricter in observing these two points. 

And Allah knows best
Can you disobey Islamophobic parents to perform acts of worship that are both Mustahab and obligatory like praying Nafilah?
Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi

If the parents are Muslims, they should not prevent their children from performing obligatory worship, but if they try to do that for any reason, you must perform your obligatory worship at any cost. If Muslim parents object on recommended worship, you have then to consider not to hurt their feelings and not to make them feel disrespected, specially when their objection on the recommended acts is based on their fear on you or care for you because of their thinking that certain recommended worship can affect your health such as recommended fasting. You should do your best to keep the respect of your parents and avoid any act which might cause them feeling disrespected.

If the parents are non Muslims and try to stop you from your Islamic duties, you are then not obliged to listen to them as no one is entitled to stop us from our obligatory duties.
In anyway you should always keep the respect of our parents even if they are non Muslims. In Quran Allah says in Surah Luqman, verse 15 [But if ( Your parents) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have knowledge, then don't obey them; but behave with them in this world kindly]

Wassalaam