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There are different types of depression. Some of the depression cases can be avoided or treated by remembering Allah and sincerely seeking His Help. Some depression cases are out of control and can not be treated but by medical experts. Such uncontrolled depression is an illness like other uncontrolled illnesses. If the person loses control and goes out of his senses, then he will be considered behaving out of his senses. Allah only Knows the real feelings and status of the senses of people. Allah Judges people and we are not entitled to judge others. We just pray for the well-being of depressed people and for the forgiveness of late believers.

Wassalam.

Their not taking revenge or not showing anger does not mean that you did not wrong them. We must seek forgiveness from everyone whom we wronged. Without that, we will be accountable in the Day of Judgement which is the hardest day for the sinners.

Wassalam.

Bismhi ta'ala

This is going to be a choice the husband makes. Of course, you must understand how difficult it would be for him to trust you again, or to forget the incident, and it might continue to be brought up, especially if you have an argument. 

He might even accuse the children of not being his, and so on. 

Therefore, if he forgives you, which is possible from a shar'i perspective, you must both navigate correct solutions to deal with the infidelity and how to avoid it in future, from both sides.

And Allah knows best

Bismihi ta'ala

After tawbah, if you have access to somehow find them, and won't be harmed, return back items, or their equivalent in money. If not, pay its amount in sadaqah, on their behalf, and pray to Allah for forgiveness. 

And Allah knows best.